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Becky's T-Blog

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I Walk the Line

Right, bear with me because I'm writing this with a vague impression of something in the back of my mind but no idea how to commit it into words. So this is going to be rather rambling.

Being a transvestite is bloody difficult. Correction, being a good transvestite is bloody difficult. By "good" I mean one who makes the effort, who's happy to stand up and be counted as a transvestite, and who (and this is where recently I've been failing abysmally) actually cross-dresses. The Good Transvestite walks the line, the line that divides not bothering enough and bothering far too much.

Let me reel off a few more clichés.

The Good Transvestite lives on the edge. On one side is the massed hordes of proto-trannies who never get the urge to take it any further, and on the other side are the transsexuals who want to take it all the way. But the edge is a fun and exciting place to be. Edges are always where things happen. When two environments come into contact you get turbulence, conflict, excitement... life. There are a lot of interesting people on the edge, and even more approaching it from both sides. Away from the edge you get safety and uniformity, but nothing really ever happens.

The trouble is that there, in the middle, seems to be the hardest place to stay. The Good Transvestite who crawls their way up to the edge, fighting apathy, prejudice and self-doubt to become an "out and proud" tranny, faces a big problem. There are slippery slopes in both directions, back down the way they came or onwards into the murky realms of hormones, SRS, and permanent changes of lifestyle.

The Good Transvestite knows that although they'd fantasised occasionally about, say, having a proper set of boobs, they wouldn't be doing it for the right reasons and the novelty would wear off in a few hours, so they hold back. The craving for the "next big hit" (buying girls clothes, going out dressed, passing in public, whatever) has fuelled them all the way to the crest of the edge, so stopping before they go too far down the other slope can be hard.

Before I suffer the wrath of transsexuals angry that I'm implying they're just bad transvestites who couldn't give up on the "next big hit", let me qualify what I'm saying. I think that most transsexuals have a genuine need to do what they do, and you can tell by the huge sacrifices they've made with families, careers, etc.

And also, trannies that shade further down the transsexual spectrum face problems walking their own "line". The medical, legal and social structures in place in this country and elsewhere have great difficultly seeing any shades between "male" and "female". The transgendered person who wants to live a lifestyle somewhere after "man" but before "woman" faces huge difficulties from a society who wants to push them into one of the two available boxes.

But back to the point I was trying to make, and (rather predictably) it's all about me. I "walked the line" for a while, lived on the edge and sampled all the delights that were available there. But then I had to choose: fight extra hard to stay there or fall to the side. Falling "forward" never was an option, because I'm 100% sure I'm not a transsexual. And staying where I was became impossible because, despite Jane's utter support and understanding, the kind of tranny I was 4 years ago just wasn't compatible with a normal happy relationship.

Also, the need to dress has gone away since I've been with Jane. Maybe because I'm with Jane, but I'm not about to test that theory.

In many ways I've "lost" the old Becky, and gone though a bit of a mourning period because of it. I miss the hedonistic pleasures that came part-and-parcel with the particular way I chose to express my tranny side and "live" through Becky.

Despite Jane trusting me implicitly (and me being committed to deserve that trust), I've not trannied solo in over a year, and only once or twice since I met Jane. Going out dressed with Jane is a lot of fun (and she enjoyed it too), but it's strangely different from the pure thrill of going out solo.

When we first met I said to Jane that my trannying was going to be my garden shed, a place where I could retreat to be away from real life for a bit. But to allow Jane to be comfortable with the shed, she had to see inside, and somehow it never seemed right to shut her out after that. And so, unwittingly, my expression of Becky became diluted.

Part of me wants to reclaim that part of my life, part of me realises how selfish that would be. Perhaps the ultimate defining characteristic of the transvestite is selfishness - we want to do these things we do to satisfy our own needs and desires - but I don't want it to define me. So I'm going to have to find a new way to be a Good Transvestite. Giving up on personal short-term pleasures for the greater lasting pleasure of a loving relationship, perhaps that's the hardest line to walk of all.
Anonymous Kath Adams  I read that and it sounded sad to me. But perhaps it shouldn't be? Perhaps it should be a celebration of a part of you that was 'needed' but isn't needed now, because you've found something more fulfilling?

Maybe Becky was a 'support' who may, or may not be a support again in the future?

Or maybe it's as simple as growing and changing?

I think the reason it sounded sad to me is that by using the word 'good', it suggests that you are now 'bad'? Perhaps it's suggesting to me that because I don't meet your defenition of 'good' that I'm therefore 'bad'? Maybe that's my selfish bit, taking your comment and associating it with me?

Perhaps what you are saying is you were happy as the trannie you were but now you are happier without needing Becky at this point in your life and while you are missing her, you don't need her now? And perhaps thats a good thing? Perhaps that is being a good trannie? To know when to need her and know when to leave her?

And maybe that is the edge the rest of us are searching for? 
Blogger Helena Love  I understand the next big hit thing, sometimes I do think, well this is all getting a bit samey, boring, average and do search for the next and the exciting mnew rhing. But then again sometimes simple ordinary things like just walking in the sunshine or just sitting having a coffee as Helena can bring some very warm and comforting feelings. Being lost in the pink fog can be a hard line to walk when there are no real directions available. But Jane must of gave you a direction and you found a way out and that is a good thing. 
Blogger Mariana  A lot of people notice that when a man gets married he doesn't go out with his friends as much (sometimes not at all anymore) because he's so fully committed to his family. Maybe being a cross-dresser was your way of going out with the boys, and you've now moved on from that page. It's terrific that Jane isn't possessive, and doesn't deny you the right to have your own space, your own hobbies, interests that don't include her, but you feel guilty because, in its essence, cross-dressing is something you do with the boys, and doesn't include her, except as an outside guest, and you don't want her to feel like a guest in any part of your life. 
Blogger sophie h  I find myself both in admiration of you Becky and somewhat envious.
Maybe you have reached the tranny nirvana many look for.
You are free to tranny, but dont feel the need as you have a loving relationship.
But please dont stop blogging, as we, your friends, would miss you. 
Blogger Lynn Jones  I've started a reply to this post a few times and each one didn't say what I wanted. Luckily, there's the delete button. :)

This'll sound trite, but it's true: people change. What you thought was important - perhaps even critical to your wellbeing - just drops off the radar. It's not a bad thing.

I can understand you thinking about 'going back' because you know what happened in the past and could handle all that it threw at you. The future is (obviously) unknown and therefore a leap of faith. While going back may be tempting, sometimes there's a reason why you leave certain activities behind.

With regards to selfishness, I know various new parents who verbally flog themselves for wanting parts of their old life back: to have 'me time' once again. There's nothing wrong with a bit of selfishness every once in a while. Sometimes the world has to wait while you attend to your own needs. It sounds awful, but if you don't look after yourself, who will? 
Blogger Jessica Hart  It is the hardest walk of all - a change of life, a change of priorities, for a loved one - but potentially the most rewarding walk of all.

I wish you both well on that walk. 
Blogger steph_angel  Interesting post. More so, as I've had a draft post sat waiting to publish, for the last month, which is almost identical to this one. Obviously mine didn't involve Jane ;-)
I'd love to offer you some pearls of wisdom, but to be honest I'm still trying to find them myself... The life of a tranny is never a dull one.

Take care

XXX 
Blogger Kat  hearing you loud and clear... and fcuked if I know what the answer is... was there a question? as long as you're happy and enjoying life then it's all good. the grass isn't always greener kiddo 
Blogger Cornelius Breadbasket  I've not posted here before but I do make the occasional visit because I like what you have to say and how you say it.

It is through courageous honesty like yours that new frontiers are crossed. Keep it up. 
Anonymous Miss K  You're just a good person, full stop x 
Blogger Rachel  If it feels good, if it feels right for you, do it.

It's an interesting exercise defining the perfect trannie, but I'm not so sure one exists.

I do wonder, occasionally, how many trannies beat themselves up for not living on the edge, as you put it.

Having been out, done that and bought the teeshirt how many of us feel we *should* find bigger and bolder statements to make in order to prove our trannie credentials - all rather pointless, if you ask me.

Anyhoos, looks like you're going with the flow, so I'm sure you'll enjoy it. :)

But there's going to be loads of people who'll miss you not being 'on the scene'.

Take care, and have fun. 

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Monday, August 18, 2008

A Tranny's Guide to Surviving the Credit Crunch

The threat of recession is on the horizon. The current economic climate means everyone is having to tighten their belts, and us trannies have more belts to tighten than most (along with a couple of girdles, and a sash that ties in huge bow that sits delightfully in the small of our backs and... er ... I digress).

So anyway I thought I'd put together a few tips for surviving the credit crunch as a tranny.

Make the Most of the Panto Off Season

During the summer months there is very little call for pantomime, so why not make use of all those costumes gathering dust at your local theatre? Many of them are designed for the fuller figure, and come in a variety of striking and original styles.

Look for:

Ugly Sister costumes. Often actually quite swanky, it's the makeup that tends to let down your average Ugly Sister.

Cinderella's Ballgown. You never know, it might fit. Although the slippers probably won't.

Pantomime Dame outfits If anyone asks, tell them you're on a Grayson Perry kick.

Avoid:

Anything with a goose's head. Unless you're into a bit of furry (feathery?) action on the side.

Principal Boy outfits. Unless you look so naturally like a girl that it shines through even when you stick on a pair of hotpants, a pencil moustache and a jaunty hat. In which case I hate you.


Investigate Alternative Realities and Planes of Existence

Online realities such as Second Life have always been havens for the tranny without the budget for actual clothes / makeup / plastic surgery, but in hard times it can be hard to find the Real Life lolly you need to pay for the Second Life loot. So why not investigate some other online environments?

Try:

World of Warcraft. But don't do the obvious thing and play an anatomically impossible female maiden skipping around in extremely skimpy armour. The proper way to cross-dress in WoW (or any other online RPG) is to play a butch male character and then disguise yourself in as feminine a manner as possible. I myself have a male Night Elf rogue who has a fantastic range of frocks he picked up at festival events around Azeroth. And he can easily pass for a laydee, providing the dungeon is dark enough.

Pirates of Caribbean Online. Okay, so I've not actually investigated this myself, but surely in addition to all the swarthy eye-patched pirates there must be room for a few corsetted and be-hoop-skirted Governor's daughters for trannies to play? And maybe also ladies of negotiable affection inhabiting the taverns and docks? If not, wake up Disney! This is an opportunity missed!

Avoid:

EVE Online. The bit at the beginning where you create your avatar all looks very promising, and you can spend an hour or so getting the lipstick, funky hair and eyeshadow on my space chick just right. But then it's all just spaceships! And it's very hard to make a Caldari Battle Cruiser look femme. Believe me, I tried.


Make Do And Mend

Some tips for when things get really bad:

The discarded towels left behind The Boudoir and other dressing services can be wrung out for usable amounts of foundation.

Rather than forking out for an expensive wig, just let your own hair grow out. (Be warned: while most trannies who do this tend to make out they're frightfully lucky to have "such nice long hair", all their friends secretly know this is a sign of abject poverty and an inability to buy a decent wig. That's not envy in their eyes, it's pity.)

Take a tip from those wartime ladies who couldn't afford seamed stockings. If you can't afford to buy a decent pair of falsies, just drink a lot of beer until you develop an impressive set of man boobs, then take a brown eyeliner pencil and draw a large oval shape around each one. Hey presto! Instant faux fake boobs!

- - -

Hopefully my little guide will help you through the worst of the credit crunch.

And remember that it's incredible what you can get in charity shops. Why, just the other day I got some very funny looks and a black eye.
Blogger Pandora Caitiff  Although online RPG Kingdom of Loathing only has stickmen (and women) for avatars, it does have a Gender Re-assignment clinic 
Blogger steph_angel  And then there's always the ultimate cost cutting tranny tip... Just nick someone's online photos and fob them off as your own!!! Or is that a taboo subject on here ;-) 
Anonymous Miss K  BRA-vo! 

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Sunday, August 17, 2008

RRRRRRRAAAAAGHHHH!!

That's a kind of textual representation of the amount of effort it's taken to free myself from a soul-sucking quagmire of indolence and finally put something in this blog.

No apologies, I just seem to have lost the part of my brain that deluded me into thinking that the stuff that happens in my life was worthy of being blogged about. Combine that with a distinct lack of Interesting Things happening to me, and the blog output is bound to suffer. I'm not even bothering to read blogs at the moment, let alone write them.

But, I'm still here. Keeping my head down and trying not to cause too much trouble. Life seems to be "on hold" a bit at the moment. There's so much that Jane and I want to do, but it's all dependent on selling our two smallish homes and buying something of a decent size. The news that house prices are tumbling would be great if we could actually get any buyers at all for our places. But just getting people to look at them is proving almost impossible. After years of feasting on the economic equivalent of calorific Kellogg's Golden Nuggets (so tasty, but you know it's bad for you), we're now forced to chew on it's evil high-fibre low-taste alternative: Credit Krunch.

It wouldn't be so bad if the perceived opinion didn't seem to be that house-buyers were reaping what they sowed, suffering from an economic downturn they created by artificially inflating the house market over the the last decade. It's not my fault. I've done nothing to inflate the house market, personally, I've just been quietly investing in my little pile of bricks-and-mortar, content to sit on the bottom rung of the property ladder, and now I finally want to step up a rung, the rules of the game have changed. All of a sudden the ladders are all snakes and the whole board is starting to look very slippery indeed.
OpenID mooninthegutter  And for those of us who aren't even approaching the bottom rung of the ladder yet...rental prices are going up! Woohoo!

feel the dripping sarcasm... 
Blogger Lynn Jones  Y'know I was about to drop you a note to make sure you'd not dropped off the face of the planet. Mind you if you had, it would have been worth blogging about... at least if you could get a wireless signal.

Combine that with a distinct lack of Interesting Things

Yeah, although that doesn't stop most of the blogging community (myself included) does it? :)

Ahhh. House prices. We bought a long time ago and frankly, we couldn't afford to buy this place nowadays. That's not a gloat, I think it's rather poor. The whole housing boom seemed to halt people who wanted / needed to move. It's a bubble that has seemed ready to burst for a while... I know repossessions are up. Is this the 80s all over again? I hope not!! 
Blogger Pandora Caitiff  I'm a tenant. I'm happy to stay that way right now :) 
Blogger Steg  The housing situation must be a nightmare for people in a position such as Jane and yourself find yourselves in. I can only say I hope it sorts itself out well for you both.

What Lynne said about "interesting things". God knows if I waited for something interesting to happen to me I'd never post anything. Anything interesting tends to be too...um..."personal" to blog about freely anyway. Just waffle on as you see fit (or not). See you both in Tesco's :-) 
Blogger Thaumata  We're having a bit of the same issue. Originally, the plan was to sell the house and buy one closer to Leeds, where we are also renting a flat. But with almost nobody coming to look at it in the last six months, we're now looking to rearrange work schedules so we can move back into the house up north.

Same thing has been going on in the states for at least a couple of years now. My sister moved into a new house before her old one sold and ended up letting the bank foreclose on it because nobody was even biting. It was only 3 years old and in a nice neighborhood, too.

Anyway, hang in there! 
Anonymous Jessica  Set up a website for each house, with lots of panorama photos and floor plans, plug it on your blog and other things. Put them on ebay? :) 
Blogger sophie h  I think you can thank our present goverments lack of clarity on stamp duty for well and truly stalling the market.
Perhaps you could email Mr Brown and invite him to buy your house Becky. Lets face it, he could afford it.

Hope things sort themselves out soon,
Hugs. 
Blogger Jane  The market was in free fall before the stamp duty faff - The blame lies with the sub prime market in the States and greedy banks who extended credit to almost anybody who breathed. 

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Monday, July 21, 2008

If it looks like a girl...

I might as well face it, I'm seen as the James Randi of Tranny Fakers. People always come to me when they find someone on Flickr who's pretending to be an amazingly passable tranny when they're just, well, not. Maybe I should put up a £1M prize for anyone who can successfully prove that they're not faking their pics when they look 100% passable. But I don't have the confidence or, to be honest, the funds.

A friend put me on to another one today, the first for a while.

Epigoth's profile claims "I'm an 18 year old GUY from the UK". And so commenters are saying stuff along the lines of "OMG I can't believe you're not a genetic girl! You look so femme!"

To those people I say, remember the famous Duck Test...

"If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck."
Anonymous Vic  A fiver to anyone who can prove they CAN see an Adam's apple. 
Anonymous Suomy Nona  I'm surprised nobody has come up with a search engine that performs pattern matching for an array of pixels' RGB values, in the same way that it's possible to search for phrases.

I've heard a few too many cases of people having their photos 'borrowed' and misattributed, re-captioned, doctored or otherwise misused. (By Transformation in their promotional material, f'instance.)

How's a real girl going to feel about having her likeness copied and described as a tranny? Not that I know anything about Epigoth, but it's happening all too often. 
Anonymous Alli' Cat'  I find the 'time' test useful:
1) Make a note of the Noob.
2) Look them up in about six months time.

Usually, one of three things will have happened:
1) Pictures will have dried up because they've run out of source material to steal.
2) The account has been deleted by Flickr-pol.
3) They're still active and consistent; in which case, maybe, just maybe... 
Blogger Joanna  So you're saying she's a duck?

There was Polar Rose which supposed to be a face recognition search thing for Firefox, but I'm not very impressed and I think it would probably return Avril Lavigne in this case.... 
Blogger sophie h  I do hope youre not quacking up Becky.
Remember its best to be like a duck.
Calm on the surface, but paddling like hell underneath.

:o)

I dont go alot on the facial recognition progams. For examples of their fallabilities see my flickr profile page. Apparently Im 80% like so japenese actress.

:o/ 
Blogger Gillian  I dunno, but occams razor applied here would seem to indicate pavlovs dog is not drooling until you look inside the box.

Actually I only posted to say I snorted tea at Jo's comment. 
Blogger Gillian  and another thing! from your sponsored ads

http://uk.gizmodo.com/2008/03/12/french_maid_pc_mod_oo_la_la.html

wtf!! 
Blogger Pandora Caitiff  Her MySpace claims she is 5'11", so when (if?) a full length picture surfaces, it should be fairly easy to compare the girl in the pics with the girl on paper.

The photostream is definitely tingling my Spidey senses :)

And Gillian, watch what you're doing with those "box" jokes, I hear enough of them as it is! 
Blogger Karol Cross  I tend to instinctively follow Ali's approach.

Although the thing that always makes me suspicious is a lack of photos. As we all know, trannies are addicted to photos, to capturing that instant when they appear as female as they can (well I am anyway).

So any self professed trannie who only has 6 photos immediately gets a black mark in my book I'm afraid. And two black marks if all the photo's they have are from the same shoot or time period. Six photo's taken over a period of time is harder to fake then a 5 minute download of someones last shoot.

At the end of the day though, its just sad and pointless in I would suggest equal measures. I think faking it, shows the person has a lot of personal issues which they need to deal with, which I imagine is not a very good place to be. 
Anonymous Sonia  I think this all plays up to the tranny desire of looking like the perfect woman.

I can't generalize, but instead of dressing up I WISH I could press a button and BE a woman, or put on a magic woman suit, and have real female parts...

But that, we know, is not possible. So what is the next thing to desire ? Via makeup, surgeries, or pure nature luck, to look as close as possible to a woman.

So trannies WANT TO BELIEVE that someone who claims to be another TG and looks 100% like a woman, is a genetic male. Because that gives us all hope :-)


"The closer to the truth, the better the lie, and the truth itself is the best lie of all." Preem Palver 
Blogger transfattyacid  I'm not sure on this one. The photos look pretty photoshopped - the adams apple test might not work, and we aonly get a glimpse of the hand - which looks a little large. But then the skinniness of the arms might have something to do with that.

As for the duck test, it is a slightly dangerous weapon. There are plenty of women that look like men (trannys) so it might not be that reliable. 
Anonymous Angell  Unless its a baby duck and then they make cute little meep meep noises. Ah - I like the baby ducks best. 

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Monday, July 14, 2008

Never say never Non Non Photography Day again

Yep, it's that time of year again. July 17th is your day to fight the evil that is Non Photography Day by participating in the far less po-faced and up-itself Non Non Photography day.

The plan is the same as always:

1) Take your camera with you on July 17th and snap as many pictures as possible all day. 2) Post them to the Flickr group.

Hopefully we'll completely undo the dent that the non-photographers want to make in the day, in fact with any luck there'll be even more pictures taken that day that there would have been normally!
Blogger Jenny Harvey  I would declare that every single day should be Non Pointless Contrived Theme Day.

Just to clarify non non photography day. Is taking one photo that day enough or do I have to constantly snap. I may need more batteries 
Blogger Rachel  god! Is it that time of year again!?! 
Blogger sophie h  Well Becky, cameras charged and in my coat pocket ready, all Ive got to do now is remember to take some photos. :o) 
Blogger Pandora Caitiff  Pssst, Becky!

"Uploads to the group pool have been disabled." 

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Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Hair apparent

It has been noted in the past that fellow blogger and fellowette tranny Lauren Close (now how can I put this?) wears her hair somewhat like me.

It's in fact exactly the same shade, the same style, and the same length. It's almost as if she gets her hair styled in the same place that I do. Or something.

This is purely accidental, of course, and even if it wasn't, it's not like I own the copyright on that hairstyle. Although as Lauren discovered for herself last weekend, there are pitfalls to coiffurial verisimilitude.

I've long thought that maybe trannies need to have the equivalent of the Clown Egg Register, to stop two trannies accidentally (or on purpose) picking identical looks.

Every clown in the UK is supposed to have their unique face makeup design painted onto an eggshell and stored in this register. It's kind of like the sex offender's register, except one deals with creepy men who you wouldn't want living on your street... and the other one deals with sex offenders.

So it seems although I didn't make it to Sparkle in person, I was there in ego spirit.

And if it's any consolation Lauren, that happens to me all the time.

...

Of course, my usual answer is "Yes I am Becky, nice to meet you!" ;-)
Blogger Lynn Jones  It's all going a bit Sparticus isn't it? :)

> except one deals with creepy men

That's very wrong.... yet very, very funny :D 
Blogger Tiffy  There is an excellent parallel clown egg scheme thingie in the Terry Pratchett book from Discworld: Men at Arms. 
Blogger sophie h  Should hair length be inversly proportional to the height of the tranny? :0) 
Blogger Valerie S  So, you're just two panty wearers with identically.. hairy?
*I'll get my coat* 
Anonymous Lauren Close  > Of course, my usual answer is "Yes I am Becky, nice to meet you!"

Of course! That's what I should have said ;) 
Anonymous Jayne  There is of course an official Government list of Transgendered people that they keep in a special office, in a similar way to say the sex offenders register.

It is claimed to be protected from access by just any old sausage, but as with all of these things I am sure that one day it will be left on a train or something.

So why did I bother to register for my GRC when there is a scary side to it all? Oh, just so I can get hitched to my Girlfriend... 

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Saturday, June 28, 2008

Okay, you can stop texting now

To cut a long story short, I'm not at Sparkle this year. The relevant equation is

M + F + N + T < S

where

M = spare funds after recent hols
F = number of old friends I was hoping to see
N = number of new friends I was hoping to meet
T = my level of general trannieness.
S = Sparkle worthwhileness

Hope everyone going has a whale of a time without us. :-)
Blogger Gillian  Did you post this after I texted 10 mins ago? 
Blogger Becky  Did you comment 10 minutes after I posted it? Is Sparkle that exciting that you're reading blogs? :-)

You weren't the only one texting Gill. :-) Hope you're having fun. 
Blogger Lynn Jones  general trannieness

Is it the weather? Not to be funny about it. Summer does seem to be a general offline time for the TG crew.

I wonder if BBC3 will run Sparkle highlights? :) 
Blogger Pandora Caitiff  Summer is a poor time for trannies. Wigs are warm, shape-wear (corsets, padded bras, falsies, etc) is an extra layer of clothing to keep the heat in, and foundation melts. Roll on Autumn ;-)

I've tried to blog about why I'm still not ready to go to Sparkle, but I can't find the right words. I think the short answer is I'm still not fully out yet, and I haven't got anyone to go with that I'm happy sharing a hotel room with. 
Anonymous Claudia  In that equation, where is D -> Doctor Who is getting exciting?

Glad I'm not the only one who is suffering from an excess of life getting in the way of partying. 
Blogger Tiffy  Oh hun - this sounds like an outbreak of complete lack of confidence. Bin there etc.

Aw! Hugs,

x

PS Call me a banana if I'm wrong 
Blogger Becky  Thanks Tiff, I can't pretend I'm as confident doing it as I have been in the past, but that's just because I've not done it in a while. I'm pretty sure I could get right back on that horse whenever I wanted.

So yeah, uh, you're 95% banana. ;-) 
Anonymous Anonymous  I have a feeling that the Sparkle event has lost its way, or succumbed to the general malaise of the tranny scene.

When it started, there was a good mix of clubbing (the Transmission party was fab) and some daytime stuff for the more cerebral/militant/arty/elderly tranny. Everything came to life at night and it was a lot of fun.

In recent years, the focus has been on the open-air stage, and it really doesn't work. Dull acts, no atmosphere and forced gaiety. Hordes of bored trannies clutching plastic cups of cider isn't a good look. If I want to do the timewarp or listen to folk/rock fusion, I'll go to the Guildford Festival.

Credit goes to the Roses organisers for taking Sparkle over, but I'm not sure how this bodes for the future. There'll be a whist drive next year, and the whole thing will be held in Bolton.

I guess Sparkle is an experiment in mainstream trannying, and the result was inevitably going to be underwhelming. I find myself hankering for the old-school seediness and debauchery of trannying... maybe I'll stick to Canal Street on a Wednesday. 
Blogger Penny M  Well young lady, you are responsible for at least one of my two blisters; I wandered round every bar and club, upstairs, downstairs, in the park, round the back of the bike sheds... I couldn't text you because of the phone-down-the-toilet incident of a few months back. I'm off to lie down in a darkened room and try to get some of the images of stocking tops and mini skirts out of my head. 
Blogger Becky  Penny: I emailed everyone who'd told me they were going, and I distinctly remember you telling me you weren't! Sorry for the wild goose chase. :)

Anonymous: You might think that, I couldn't possibly comment. :-)

... Okay, so you hit the nail on the head for some points. Sparkle is incredibly worthy, just sometimes I don't want to do "worthy". 
Anonymous Anonymous  Yep exactly - 'worthy'

Just to underline my point about the open-air stage... 2008 stylee 
Anonymous Jessica  Good job you weren't there Bex, I don't feel like I missed anything now! :) 
Blogger LucyTolliday  I didn't make the 175 odd mile journey to Manchester either. I note anon's view but I would like to go there before I slag it off. knowing my luck they'll be a heatwave and i'll be sweating profusely in my wig. 
Blogger sophie h  So Becky with respect to N, Does Lauren count as 1.0 and me the shortarse as 0.75?
By the way I didnt confuse you with Lauren :0) 
Blogger Lucinda  Do "we" know what we want? Many did what they wanted with Sparkle as an "Event going on". Sparkle promotes a safe introduction to outdoor trannying. The "experts" should be there to show what is possible. Personally I enjoyed the time I spent with "local" females that chatted to me and the guys who invited me to join them and dance. Thanks guys. I appreciated AXM changing rooms for my 15 minute change of clothing and the girl from Bolton who pinned me down to apply some make-up in View.
I enjoyed meeting friends. Pity I neither drink or eat otherwise I could socialise as well. 
OpenID technotranny  I can't beleive that you made Jane take the photo all that way on her own!

Suzie x 
Blogger Jane  Suzie - Don't worry I let the wonders of the internets and the hard working team at Flickr Transgender Community Image Pool do the actual hard work. 

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Thursday, June 26, 2008

Why blog when you can watch telly?

So yeah, no apologies for lack of bloggage, I'm just gonna crack on.

Who's watching Gok's Fashion Fix? Perfect tranny telly, if you ask me. Fronted by one of my favourite people on telly, the man for whom the phrase "you go girlfriend!" was invented, Gok Wan. Any man who can get away with pretending to be gay* just so he can play with ladies knockers is worthy of hero worship. And in this new series he's paired with another up-and-coming personal favourite Alexa Chung. Her quirky slightly-blokish femininity makes her an almost perfect mirror of Gok.

In other telly news, has anyone been following the saga of the ad by Heinz that was pulled for being too gay?

I was amazed, I'd seen the ad and thought it had real charm, especially as it credited the viewer with a bit of intelligence "we're not saying why this man is in the place of the mother of the family, work it out yourself". The people who complained must have been morons, and Heinz are cowards for pulling it. We live in a country where gay partnerships are now enshrined in law, can't we show two men kissing pre-watershed? Especially as anyone with an ounce of sense would work out that it wasn't a gay kiss. I'm not surprised that there's been a huge backlash against Heinz by gay and online communities.

Perhaps that's what Heinz realised would happen, and knew that people like me would blog about it. Even so, that's a pretty crummy way to sell onion-flavoured mayonnaise.

*Well that's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.
Blogger Gillian  my considered opinion is that those complaints are just bollocks. I thought it was clever, tho admittedly I did think it was gay initially. 
Blogger Billy  It wasn't even a "gay" advert whatever that means. So the people complaining were not only stupid, but they were missing the point too.

D'oh! 
Anonymous Lauren Close  I've just finished watching Gok.

Generally fab, although there's a limit to the number of times I can be told that a dress is "only" £200.

Did love the petticoat / grey skirt / sheer blouse combo though. Now, if I can just find that £200... 
Blogger becca  What a clever ad, and what stupidity it's been pulled. People are so...weird.

And speaking of...onion-flavored mayonnaise? 
Blogger Jenny Harvey  I love watching Gok too, though I'd like to see him make me "look good naked". I have just realised what a terrible/ fumy anagram of his name is , and no, I am not going to act on that suggestion: Why blog when you can Gok Wan 
Blogger Author, Planet Heidi  All this fuss and I didn't even think it was that controversial. Sheesh. Cute ad tho. Worked on me. Very excited about alternative mayonnaise lifestyles. 
Anonymous NH  I recently railed against Alexa Chung on my blog but that was mainly directed at Freshly Squeezed instead of her personally. On the one hand she is eye candy par excellence but on the other she always seems to have a dark smudge under her nose and has very awkward presenting banter with her male co-hosts:

"Coming up next..."
"I thought I was going to say that bit..."
"Oh..were you? I don't want to intrude..."
"No..no...you've started so you may as well finish?"
"If that's OK?"
"Fine by me...just jump in whenever in future"
"Are you being serious?"
(forced laugh)
"ANYWAY...coming up next..."
"So you still want to do that bit?"
(Silence for 3 seconds before they cut to a clip of the Ting Tings) 
Blogger transfattyacid  Gay kissing is worse on the Archers.

Radio has more vivid pictures that television and the thought of Adam and Ian going at it, with Adam smelling of the deer and Ian having only just finished chopping garlic is just too much.

But hey! if they love each other who is to complain.

And it isn't as bad as the idea of Usha and the vicar. Or Roy and Hayley - that Roy muct be a bit think if he hasn't noticed that Hatley is not the woman he married. But then Eddie Grundy has been living bigamously for years and doesn't seem to notice that it is a different woman who came back from staying at her sisters in Great Yarmouth to the one which went away.

Oh yes - I nearly forgot - THINK OF THE CHILDREN 
Blogger LucyTolliday  Ive already ranted enough about Heinz and the reaction. There are better mayo's availible anyway.
The current flavour of the moment, Alexa is too skinny and I don't know why shes held up as a style icon. Gok's a little too overexposed for my tastes as well. 

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Saturday, June 14, 2008

You Aren't Here


This Local Information board has been outside my local Tescos for some time, but it was only the other day I actually paid it any attention, and noticed that the street map of King's Lynn bears absolutely no relation to the layout of my home town whatsoever.

A bit of research has shown that this is in fact a map of Andover in Hampshire. I just feel sorry for anyone trying use it to find their way around!

Blogger Stephanie Delacey  LOL! Didn't the Surrealists have a game where you were supposed to wander around a city using the map of another? 
Blogger NBlackburn  Wow. That seems like a bit of States-side government work to me. Good job! 
Blogger Jenny Harvey  Are you totally sure that its not the map in the right place, and that Kings Lyne is where Andover should be. 
Anonymous Vic  Notice the Drinkline and Samaritans phone numbers underneath. They're probably in case you get so frustrated trying to find a way out of KL, you get drunk, then get depressed. 
Blogger Penny M  Perhaps you are in an alternative universe where Andover and Kings Lynn have swapped geographies? You don't happen to be wearing a blonde wig and very black eyebrow pencil? 
Anonymous Anonymous  This has to be the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. First off there's you and all of the other dippy Tesco customers who haven't noticed, but perhaps funnier are the people who put it up.

Either they knew what they were doing (very funny), or they didn't (even funnier).

You need to exploit this discovery! 
Blogger transfattyacid  Someone needs to andover the map of Kings Lynn 
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