Evil Becky Answers Your Mail #1

I get so much post via my website that sometime it all gets too much and I have to let my identical twin answer my mail. The trouble is, like all identical twins she's irredeemably evil. She's also called Becky, but I call her Evil Becky just so there's a distinction. I'm the nice one, honest.

I don't mind answering intelligent emails from interesting people, in fact I love getting them. It's just answering the unintelligible emails from "interesting" people that causes me problems. So I'm going to give them to Evil Becky to deal with. I really hope she doesn't upset too many people. Names have been changed to protect the innocent, spelling and grammar hasn't.

Anoymous writes:
I am very curious,can you please give me some advice

Evil Becky replies:
Wow, long email. You don't seem to have written about what you want advice on, so I'll just give you some snippets of general advice

1. Don't eat yellow snow (everyone should know this one by now.)
2. Always use gloves when working with acids.
3. Wasps don't make good pets.

I hope this helps.

Taxinor writes:
When do i get my licence please let me know can you send it to me asap hope to heree from you soon.

Evil Becky replies:
I'm sorry but the people at the TVEE licencing people have decided that you're not a true tranvestite. Please cease and desist from all crossdressing activities from this moment forward. Any attempt to continue girly activities may result in a prison sentence.