nroP
I'd never considered this as worth reporting before, but as Jane found it funny the other day, I guess it merits a blog entry.
It was all sparked by a CD-ROM that came Sellotaped to the front of a digital photography magazine I'd bought. It featured "20 Fine Art Nudes", with one such nude featured "tastefully" on the cover. Jane spotted this laying on my computer desk and arched an eyebrow.
I explained that I'd bought the magazine to read up on Digital SLR techniques and stuff, and I really wasn't interested in pictures of girls in the nude, Fine Art or otherwise.
(As a side note: Why do photography magazines still seem to supplement their articles about lenses and focal lengths with soft-porn titillation? I thought that stuff went out in the 80s!)
Jane didn't seem convinced by my protestations, so I felt I needed to strengthen my defence with this example:
When I was a hormonal teenage tranny, I used to read porn magazines backwards.
Well, not the whole magazine, just the "photo stories".
You know the ones. They start with a picture of the secretary/farmgirl/debutant posing on a desk/hay bale/grand piano and over the following pages she's seen in increasing states of undress until, on the last full page spread, she's got all her bits out. They're usually accompanied by highly literate and witty commentary.
Such as "Hannah just loves taking dick-tation."
As a (mightily confused) teenage tranny I was a lot more interested in the exotic lingerie that the girls were wearing than their naked forms, and even the outfits they wore fully dressed held a lot of appeal. Those prim secretarial blouses and skirts! The shy debutantes in full-length frocks! The farm girls who always wore Daisy Duke shorts and hair bunches with gingham ribbons! Oh my!
So, I learned to start at the end and read backwards. Because that way the girls put these clothes on!
A slight insight in the working of the tranny mind, I think you'll agree. Jane seemed to find it highly amusing.
Then I told her about how at the time I was worried about my mum finding the stash of Razzles (yes I was that classy) and Playboys in my bedroom because I thought she'd work out I was a tranny.
By this stage Jane is laughing so much she needs to have a sit down. :-/
Look I was confused and repressed, okay? I thought that everything would give me away as a tranny! I realise now that when mum did find the stash (once or twice I'd find it neatly stacked under the bed after one of her "tidies"*), she probably actually thought she was raising a boy with normal tastes and a healthy sexual appetite.
She was half right. :-)
--
*The police should employ mums to tidy the rooms of suspected drug dealers, etc. They find everything.
It was all sparked by a CD-ROM that came Sellotaped to the front of a digital photography magazine I'd bought. It featured "20 Fine Art Nudes", with one such nude featured "tastefully" on the cover. Jane spotted this laying on my computer desk and arched an eyebrow.
I explained that I'd bought the magazine to read up on Digital SLR techniques and stuff, and I really wasn't interested in pictures of girls in the nude, Fine Art or otherwise.
(As a side note: Why do photography magazines still seem to supplement their articles about lenses and focal lengths with soft-porn titillation? I thought that stuff went out in the 80s!)
Jane didn't seem convinced by my protestations, so I felt I needed to strengthen my defence with this example:
When I was a hormonal teenage tranny, I used to read porn magazines backwards.
Well, not the whole magazine, just the "photo stories".
You know the ones. They start with a picture of the secretary/farmgirl/debutant posing on a desk/hay bale/grand piano and over the following pages she's seen in increasing states of undress until, on the last full page spread, she's got all her bits out. They're usually accompanied by highly literate and witty commentary.
Such as "Hannah just loves taking dick-tation."
As a (mightily confused) teenage tranny I was a lot more interested in the exotic lingerie that the girls were wearing than their naked forms, and even the outfits they wore fully dressed held a lot of appeal. Those prim secretarial blouses and skirts! The shy debutantes in full-length frocks! The farm girls who always wore Daisy Duke shorts and hair bunches with gingham ribbons! Oh my!
So, I learned to start at the end and read backwards. Because that way the girls put these clothes on!
A slight insight in the working of the tranny mind, I think you'll agree. Jane seemed to find it highly amusing.
Then I told her about how at the time I was worried about my mum finding the stash of Razzles (yes I was that classy) and Playboys in my bedroom because I thought she'd work out I was a tranny.
By this stage Jane is laughing so much she needs to have a sit down. :-/
Look I was confused and repressed, okay? I thought that everything would give me away as a tranny! I realise now that when mum did find the stash (once or twice I'd find it neatly stacked under the bed after one of her "tidies"*), she probably actually thought she was raising a boy with normal tastes and a healthy sexual appetite.
She was half right. :-)
--
*The police should employ mums to tidy the rooms of suspected drug dealers, etc. They find everything.
Labels: transvestism
I believe that they have 'robers', who start naked, and get dressed. The inexperienced robers get embarrased at the second coat, and the riots usually start at the seventh layer. :)
I'm guessing that sex still sells? Let's see, "If I buy this lense, then I will be able to take photos like that...oooh yummy! Where's my credit card..." ;)
Oh, and I'm loving your Google ads today... specifically the "Math Workbook Grades K-6". No doubt they were injected due to your Math Trick post from last week.
as for why photog mags have naked femmes on the front covers still....well during my time working for 'amateur photographer' i used to make sarcy remarks about that till i learnt that the front page ed was actually a woman! ( sex always sells darling she'd say and men -dispite their outward interests- and intelligence? normally think below the waistline much of the time! ( un quote)
hanna xx
p.s i didnt know that i liked dictation in razzle?? ha!
i) Women who think the way to a man's heart lies through his stomach should aim a little lower.
ii) I read Playboy for the same reason I read National Geographic - both are full of colour photos of interesting places I'm not likely to visit.
My Mom found a bra and a pair of panties in my "stash" spot (A secret cubby hole behind my Atari games). I always thought, why would she ever feel the need to touch my games? Well, when asked where they came from; I told her they were a souvenier. She left it alone very quickly. They actually were, but not for that reason.
*The police should employ mums to tidy the rooms of suspected drug dealers, etc. They find everything.
I can picture the headlines now:
Largest cocaine bust ever made. Local police, on a tip, raided a home here. After finding nothing, they called in the voracious Mom Squad. On a hunch, Mrs. Murphy thought the bed could use a turn and discovered an old Playboy magazine and upon turning to the dogeared centerfold, realized the stash spot must be under the writing desk, behind the third drawer.
I havn't a clue what happened to it, it must have got lost in one of my moves.
Uhmm, I don't really know. It's a bit like being a gay in the American army - don't ask, don't tell. The family all know about it, but it never gets talked about.
At least I didn't have to hide anything.
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