The Tinkerbell Syndrome
I watched a programme on BBC3 yesterday evening called "The Trouble with Gay Men". In it, Simon Fanshawe discussed what he saw as the problems with being gay in Britain today.
Programmes like this always interest me. The gay scene in the UK overlaps the tranny scene more than some trannies would like to accept, and the gay mentality overlaps the tranny mentality more than some trannies would like to admit.
Simon Fanshawe is gay, and he grew up fighting for the rights that gay men now almost take for granted. Today in Britain, gay men enjoy almost identical rights to straight people . Gay culture, Simon argues, should now "grow out" of it's adolescent penchant for sex and drugs and adopt a more adult and responsible attitude.
I'm not steeped in gay culture, but from what I've seen of it, and from parallels I can draw with the tranny culture, this isn't going to happen. Why? Because part of the appeal of being in these cultures is the ability it gives you to not to act your age or be responsible. A lot of trannies (myself included I admit) dress in clothes that aren't always appropriate to our ages. Because in some ways enjoying transvestism is as much about denying your adulthood as it is about denying your masculinity. That's why, I think, trannies sometimes describe it as a "release"; they are (temporarily) abdicating the responsibilities of their age as well as their gender.
If many gays are suffering from the Peter Pan syndrome, then many trannies are suffering from something similar. We're just not as keen on wearing green.
There'll always be the gay guys who want to settle down in steady monogamous relationships and be "grown up", but there'll always be gay men who just want to sleep around with as many guys as they can and do a lot of drugs. Equally there'll always be trannies who dress to their age and who's idea of a good night is watching EastEnders en-femme, and other trannies who dress up like teenagers (or younger) and frolic about like there's no tomorrow.
Simon used that horrible argument that gays who perpetuate the image of homosexual men as camp, carefree, vain sexual deviants are ruining it for the "good" sensible gays like him. This smells very much like the protests I sometimes hear from trannies who get their knickers in a twist about anyone or anything that doesn't present "a positive image of transgenderism". Whatever that is.
If you want to be seen as part of a culture, but you don't like the parts that don't fit your morals or standards, then you should work to make your part of the culture more visible, rather than deriding or denying what the others are doing. There's no point in me pretending, for example, that a lot of trannies aren't just hairy panty-wearing freaks. They are, God love 'em.
But then there's me too. I'm not. And neither are a lot of my friends. If you want to be part of a culture, you have to put up with the other people in it. It's their culture too.
Programmes like this always interest me. The gay scene in the UK overlaps the tranny scene more than some trannies would like to accept, and the gay mentality overlaps the tranny mentality more than some trannies would like to admit.
Simon Fanshawe is gay, and he grew up fighting for the rights that gay men now almost take for granted. Today in Britain, gay men enjoy almost identical rights to straight people . Gay culture, Simon argues, should now "grow out" of it's adolescent penchant for sex and drugs and adopt a more adult and responsible attitude.
I'm not steeped in gay culture, but from what I've seen of it, and from parallels I can draw with the tranny culture, this isn't going to happen. Why? Because part of the appeal of being in these cultures is the ability it gives you to not to act your age or be responsible. A lot of trannies (myself included I admit) dress in clothes that aren't always appropriate to our ages. Because in some ways enjoying transvestism is as much about denying your adulthood as it is about denying your masculinity. That's why, I think, trannies sometimes describe it as a "release"; they are (temporarily) abdicating the responsibilities of their age as well as their gender.
If many gays are suffering from the Peter Pan syndrome, then many trannies are suffering from something similar. We're just not as keen on wearing green.
There'll always be the gay guys who want to settle down in steady monogamous relationships and be "grown up", but there'll always be gay men who just want to sleep around with as many guys as they can and do a lot of drugs. Equally there'll always be trannies who dress to their age and who's idea of a good night is watching EastEnders en-femme, and other trannies who dress up like teenagers (or younger) and frolic about like there's no tomorrow.
Simon used that horrible argument that gays who perpetuate the image of homosexual men as camp, carefree, vain sexual deviants are ruining it for the "good" sensible gays like him. This smells very much like the protests I sometimes hear from trannies who get their knickers in a twist about anyone or anything that doesn't present "a positive image of transgenderism". Whatever that is.
If you want to be seen as part of a culture, but you don't like the parts that don't fit your morals or standards, then you should work to make your part of the culture more visible, rather than deriding or denying what the others are doing. There's no point in me pretending, for example, that a lot of trannies aren't just hairy panty-wearing freaks. They are, God love 'em.
But then there's me too. I'm not. And neither are a lot of my friends. If you want to be part of a culture, you have to put up with the other people in it. It's their culture too.
Am I on my own in wanting settle down in a steady relationship and do a lot of drugs?
I suppose "a positive image of transgenderism" is anything that does'nt negatively effect what has been accomplished by trannys so far.
I was getting off a train near my house the other day and there was a trannie there, black pattent leather thigh high stilletto boots, black and white striped tights, Gawdy make up, way out hair. I just turned to my wife and said" at least I don't dress like that" she just laughed.
The world is a big place just find out where you are happiest
A step in the right direction would be to realise this i guess,..... as Becky says it's their culture too, and although you might not think it, to someone, you could be one of 'them' ;)
As for presenting a positive image of transgenderism, well isn't that exactly what we are doing right now within the blogosphere?
I've always thought of the trannie scene as being a generation (or two) behind the gay scene, and what I've learned from reading up on the history of gay rights has tended to confirm that view.
I greatly enjoyed Freiyas comments, although I would like to suggest that gender doesn’t tie us all together. For example, for many dressing is a fetish not a gender issue.
I originally assumed that I’d have something in common with other “T” folk besides the fact that we all wear womens clothes. But I've met lots of people who dress over the last 6 years and found that I have absolutely nothing in common with them whatsoever. Their motivations and goals are very different to mine. (And I'm not just referring to the hairy panty wearers). But as many have said thats cool, its a big world and theres room for everyone. And I’m sure as Freiya quite rightly pointed out, that they were probably as confused by me as I was by them!
Once I realised that the “T” scene could be thought of as disparate niche groups, it made a little more sense and it again seemed to map onto the gay scene as there are lots of niche groups within their culture too. And they seem to have got their act together over the last 37 years. Heck of a long time to wait though! ;o)
Shoving all aspects of the TG world in the public arena (i.e. the WWW) is possibly the best thing that could happen. Education is a wonderful thing.
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