Time marches on
2.5MYA (Million years ago) to 1.5MYA - The ascent of Trans
Fig 3: Excavated fossil of Trans erectus, showing tell-tale bulge (a).
The exact evolution of the genus Trans is unknown, due to many gaps in the fossil record. But it is known that Homo transvestis (the species that would eventually become the modern day transvestite) separated as a species from the Australopithecines about two and a half million years ago.
Homo transvestis quickly renamed itself Trans transvestis (because it didn't want people to assume it was gay).
1.5MYA to 300,000 years ago - Tools
Being out on it's own for the first time and allowed to dress up when it liked was pretty exciting, and Trans transvestis spent quite a lot of it's time as Trans erectus (Fig. 3).
Fig 4: One of two solid stone false breasts found in Olduvai in 1964. It is thought to date from around 1 million years ago, although the design persisted in some places up until the latter part of the twentieth century. One of the last examples appeared in a 1984 Transformation catologue (Issue 5, page 15, described as "ultra-realistic seamless silicon breast form").
After the novelty had worn off, Trans erectus evolved into a more settled species Trans aliquando ("Occasional Tranny"). This was the first Trans species to make use of stone tools, including the first ever stone breast forms (sometimes mistaken for geodes) (Fig 4.). They also domesticated the first grasses, for use as wig material.
300,000 years ago to 15,000 years ago - Diversification
It's a common misconception that modern-day trannies (Trans sapiens) evolved from Trans neanderthalensis ("Neandethal Tranny"), but in reality the two species were seperate and co-existed for many millenia. It was thought that Trans neanderthalensis died out due to competition with it's more flamboyant cousin, but due to regular (unconfirmed) sightings, many people believe Trans neanderthalensis still exists to this day.
Labels: history
Definitely - alive, kicking, and last seen behind a darkened window in a shop near Euston station, oogling aforementioned stone breast forms.
I would send you a photo, but you would probably organise a hit squad. On second thoughts...
Confused of Liverpool.
Can anyone guess which *ahem* female Tory MP I'm think of?
BTW, it's only a monkey until the new laws come in. :)
The rest, as they say, is Intelligent Design.
"And when both Adam and Eve had eaten the fruit, they became aware that they were naked and felt ashamed. And Adam felt particularly annoyed that he only got to wear a boring, single fig leaf whereas Eve had a leaf bikini to die for. And Adam imagined himself as Alice, also wearing a fig leaf bikini, but he was thinking to a time when he would accessorise."
"And the Lord found Adam and Eve and said unto them, 'who told you, you were naked? And who told you, Adam, that purple magnolia petals would go with dark green fig leaves?"
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