Being Talked About

For those who came in late, a brief update. I'm a transvestite, and I'm "out" to all of my friends and close family. During the last couple of years I've also semi-outed myself at work, during a series of deliberate revelations, accidental discoveries and hurried damage-limitation exercises.

The accidental discoveries haven't been due to me absent-mindedly turning up to work in a dress, they've mainly be down to that scourge of the modern age: Messrs. Google and their all-pervasive search engine! Don't they realise, dammit, that I'm only putting my entire life on-line in easily accessible web-based formats for my own benefit; and I don't want their dirty Googlebot grubbing through my private affairs and broadcasting them to the world!?

The problem with being semi-out at work is that I'm not sure who knows I'm a tranny and who doesn't know. And even when I know someone knows that I'm a tranny, I'm not always sure that they know that I know they know. Because although I know they know, we've never talked about it. It's not the kind of thing that comes up in discussion about intranet improvements... you know.

But equally, having people at work who know, and know that I know means that I sometimes get to know when I'm Being Talked About. This isn't, actually, that bad a thing. A famous person that I CBATG once said something along the lines of "it's better to be talked about than not talked about". Although he probably said it better than that. It was most likely Wilde, these things usually are.

I think my impending marriage is a source of fevered speculation at the moment. My close work colleague (who knows, and knows I know he knows... and alright I'll stop now) has been quizzed at least once about it. People want to know if Jane knows, although quite how they think I'd be able (let alone want) to hide it from her when it's common knowledge in most circles is beyond me.

I think I can also identify the people who know because they're the ones that, when I tell them, seem surprised that I'm getting married at all.

"You're getting married? What, to a woman?? Er, I mean... congratulations!"

Although to be fair, their incredulity might be at the concept of male IT worker actually knowing a member of the opposite sex. Which is down to a completely different set of prejudices!

That's not to say I feel prejudiced against as a tranny at work. I have a feeling that even the people who know but I don't know that they know whould like to talk to me about it, because they're basically cool and groovy about it. They just don't know how (or when) to approach it.

Perhaps I should have some kind of amnesty. :-)