New thinking

Jane: I want to know about "thought research".

Thought Research, as I have explained briefly before, is analogous to the philosophical and scientific technique of the "thought experiment".

With a thought experiment, a scientist or philosopher imagines hypothetical situations (which would often be impossible to recreate in real life) in order to gain a better understanding of reality.

Probably the most famous thought experiment is the one known as "Schrödinger's Cat", in which the physicist Edwin Schrödinger envisaged a situation in which a cat was placed in a box with a vial of poison connected to a radioactive source which may or may not decay. Edwin used the imaginary situation to answer a scientific conundrum that would be impossible using real experimentation, in this case the question "what's the best way to really piss off a cat?".

The technique of Thought Research, which I have developed, is broadly similar to thought experimentation. Take for example,that previous paragraph on Schrödinger's Cat. Another person writing such a paragraph might have used resources such as encyclopedias or scientific journals in order to make sure they got their "facts" right. But it might surprise you to learn that I based my piece entirely on Thought Research.

After thought researching and writing that paragraph, I then went to Wikipedia in order to compare it to a more classically researched item. I found that my piece differed in only two points. Firstly, the actual point of the Schrödinger experiment was something complicated to do with quantums, and secondly that apparently his name was Erwin, not Edwin. Both are anomolies so minor they can be counted as statistically neglible.

So as you have seen, thought research leads to equally revelatory findings as real research, and takes considerably less time and effort. However, in some quarters it has been derided as "unscientific" and "patently ludicrous". The worst critics have often been people who have findings based on Thought Research used against them in an argument.

"Where did you hear that rubbish?" Janethe other party would exclaim, and when I would reply that it was based on extensive Thought Research the argument would descend into petty name-calling and rudeness. At which point I always declare the argument void and myself the winner.

I confidently predict that I will go down in the annals of history as one of the greatest thinkers of all time. Much like Steve Einstein, the Descartes sisters, and the man who invented the internal trouser pocket.