Shocked and appalled

I suppose I should write about the weekend, but due to one thing and another (one thing being my MacBook power supply going kaput, the other being me spending yesterday evening prancing about in a dress and taking pictures*) I haven't gotten around to it yet.

Partly due to my laptop being out of action, I've also been unable to reply properly to this comment from "SunFlowerBreeze" on an an ancient blog post of mine, accusing me, among other things, of wishing for a "perfect little fantasy world [where] everyone would look like a model".

I don't really have to reply. After all, that post is over a year old and the page hardly gets any traffic these days, so no-one would probably even read it if I hadn't just pointed it out.

But, coincidentally this morning I read the perfect reply, in Charlie Brooker's excellent weekly Guardian column.

"I hate offended people. They come in two flavours - huffy and whiny - and it's hard to know which is worst. The huffy ones are self-important, narcissistic authoritarians in love with the sound of their own booming disapproval, while the whiny, sparrowlike ones are so annoying and sickly and ill-equipped for life on Earth you just want to smack them round the head until they stop crying and grow up. Combined, they're the very worst people on the planet - 20 times worse than child molesters, and I say that not because it's true (it isn't), but because it'll upset them unnecessarily, and these readers deserve to be upset unnecessarily, morning, noon and night, every sodding day, for the rest of their wheedling lives."

Hear hear. All that I'd really need to add to that in my reply to SunFlowerBreeze is "I wasn't insulting the soldiers, I was insulting the shitty artist who painted those pictures. And if they really were supposed to be some kind of tribute to soldiers who had died in action, then it's the artist who has insulted their memories by painting such awful portraits. So you've got no reason to be 'shocked and appalled', unless it's due to the following sentence in which I quite unnecessarily call you an imbecile. Oh, and one more thing, that's not how you spell 'regardless', imbecile."

Anyway, back to my perfect little fantasy world. If the Royal Mail deliver the power supply for my laptop today, I'll post some pics of me looking like a model tonight!

I'll let you decide which part of the last sentence was the fantasy.

*I know! Me in a dress! At home! With no intention of going out! Taking pictures! It's almost impossible to believe!