The Beckysweb First Annual Advertising Awards
Most Authorative Sounding Non-Professional
Awarded to the rent-a-gob who most brazenly attempts to convince you that they're telling you to buy something out of genuine concern for your well-being, and not just because they've been paid to.
And the winner is: Sensodyne "ProNamel"
"There is a new toothpaste on the market", says the smartly dressed lady, almost as an aside to her presentation. Really? And does it just so happen to be made by Sensodyne, who paid for this advert? Well blow me down! And the fact that you're talking in a way that suggests you're an expert in dental health, despite in fact you're clearly labelled a "market researcher", that's not just a clever way to avoid Sensodyne's previous censures for using actual dental professionals in their adverts, is it?
Incidentally "ProNamel" was runner up to "Boswelox" in the "Most Ridiculous Pseudo-scientific Sounding Word" category.
Most Unrealistic Portrayal of a Shop Worker
Awarded to the jobbing actor who manages to least accurately capture the job they are portraying for the purposes of an advertisement.
And the winner is: PC World
Yes, PC World workers do spend a lot of time unloading stock off lorries and sticking them on display. They don't, however, endlessly bang on to their coworkers about how bloody brilliant each bit of kit is while they're doing it.
"Take a look at this! Intel Celeron processor! Every letter of the alphabet on the keyboard, even Q! And it's opaque to visible frequencies of light! Only £499!!"
"Shut the f*ck up and get stacking, or you'll be back on the dole even quicker than the rest of the temporary Christmas staff!"
Greenest Advert
Awarded to the advert that recycles the most from previous adverts.
And the winner is: PG Tips
In particular, the PG Tips ad that features a box of tea spinning on a record turntable, while Monkey gurns and Johnny Vegas states "This is not just any tea..."
These is not just any advert, this is a rip-off of (sorry, "homage to") the M&S adverts using second-hand characters that PG bought cheap from ONdigital's liquidation auction. Made from 100% recycled ideas, the ad execs must have been so proud.
Best Example of Stating the Bleeding Obvious
Awarded to the advert that most successfully promotes an expected behavour as a special feature of a product.
And the winner is: Glade Scented Oil Candles
Obviously the main concern that the makers of this melting oil candle wanted to allay is the danger of limitless and uncontrolled energy. Thankfully, the voiceover proudly states "when the oil runs out, the candle goes out!".
The Glade researchers must have struggled for ages to develop a product that didn't stay lit when its fuel source ran out. Every experiment frustratingly disproving the law of conservation of energy, the skip outside the Glade labs must be full of failed smelly candles that just won't stop burning, ever!.
Awarded to the rent-a-gob who most brazenly attempts to convince you that they're telling you to buy something out of genuine concern for your well-being, and not just because they've been paid to.
And the winner is: Sensodyne "ProNamel"
"There is a new toothpaste on the market", says the smartly dressed lady, almost as an aside to her presentation. Really? And does it just so happen to be made by Sensodyne, who paid for this advert? Well blow me down! And the fact that you're talking in a way that suggests you're an expert in dental health, despite in fact you're clearly labelled a "market researcher", that's not just a clever way to avoid Sensodyne's previous censures for using actual dental professionals in their adverts, is it?
Incidentally "ProNamel" was runner up to "Boswelox" in the "Most Ridiculous Pseudo-scientific Sounding Word" category.
Most Unrealistic Portrayal of a Shop Worker
Awarded to the jobbing actor who manages to least accurately capture the job they are portraying for the purposes of an advertisement.
And the winner is: PC World
Yes, PC World workers do spend a lot of time unloading stock off lorries and sticking them on display. They don't, however, endlessly bang on to their coworkers about how bloody brilliant each bit of kit is while they're doing it.
"Take a look at this! Intel Celeron processor! Every letter of the alphabet on the keyboard, even Q! And it's opaque to visible frequencies of light! Only £499!!"
"Shut the f*ck up and get stacking, or you'll be back on the dole even quicker than the rest of the temporary Christmas staff!"
Greenest Advert
Awarded to the advert that recycles the most from previous adverts.
And the winner is: PG Tips
In particular, the PG Tips ad that features a box of tea spinning on a record turntable, while Monkey gurns and Johnny Vegas states "This is not just any tea..."
These is not just any advert, this is a rip-off of (sorry, "homage to") the M&S adverts using second-hand characters that PG bought cheap from ONdigital's liquidation auction. Made from 100% recycled ideas, the ad execs must have been so proud.
Best Example of Stating the Bleeding Obvious
Awarded to the advert that most successfully promotes an expected behavour as a special feature of a product.
And the winner is: Glade Scented Oil Candles
Obviously the main concern that the makers of this melting oil candle wanted to allay is the danger of limitless and uncontrolled energy. Thankfully, the voiceover proudly states "when the oil runs out, the candle goes out!".
The Glade researchers must have struggled for ages to develop a product that didn't stay lit when its fuel source ran out. Every experiment frustratingly disproving the law of conservation of energy, the skip outside the Glade labs must be full of failed smelly candles that just won't stop burning, ever!.
I remember this bit of inspired copy from a Dove deodorant ad', "Puts back what shaving takes away." Well that would be hair wouldn't it?
I worked in a Dixons Warehouse in the run-up to Christmas many years ago and I can confirm that I hated every single product I unloaded - simply for the bloody back-pain it gave me!
@Alli'cat - LOL!!
PC World aren't the only ones to do this - Argos are a keen offender - and that's the use of "under 400 pounds." 399.99 - well, yes, technically it is under 400 quid, but not by much! Perhaps government IT projects should try the same. :D
'ProNamel' is not much better. In fact, it may be worse...
The PC World adverts are staggeringly badly made: You've got a product you want to flog, you have one attractive and fluffy looking girl playing a customer and one spotty oik playing a spotty oik PC World staff member: So which one does the camera spend the most time on? That's right, the oik in the purple shirt! And if you're gums aren't receding and bleeding at that, they go and put the Intel Pentium song on (surely the most incongruous piece of music forced into any advert) in.
PG tips have managed to do a double rip off: PG Tips to M&S to On Digital where they all began (to think just a couple of years ago Ben Miller and Xander Armstrong could only get advertising jobs)
I loved this blog entry, Mrs. Sweb.
Oh God, yes. One of the things I'm not looking forward to when/if we move to Oz is the sheer crapness of the TV advertising there. I mean our ads are bad, but after a few days of Aussie TV you get quite nostaligic for ITV ...
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