Speaking of food

When we remember to, one of us sits down and works out a menu for the week, and writes down a shopping list to go with it. Saves on wastage and cuts down on those random "Brillo-Stuffed Cannelloni" type meals at the end of the week when you've run out of anything that could vaguely constitute a meal. Those guys from the Egg Marketing Board who came up with the "eggs make a meal out of anything" slogan have never been faced a fridge containing a forlorn jar of mouldy capers and a ball of Babybel wax. Don't ask.

This week it was my turn to come up with the weekly menu plan, and being in a rather silly mood I decided to theme it.

You know you've married the right woman when: you email her your completed menu plan based purely on meals you can cook in World of Warcraft, and she gets it.

For those of you who are interested (if even only on a "oh what new depths of nerdishness has she sunk to now?" kind of level) here are the meal highlights for our week ahead:

• Seasoned Wolf Kabob - chunks of chicken wolf, mushroom, onion and pepper on a bed of couscous


• Redridge Goulash - Great Goretusk boar (Bellygrub himself is best, if you can kill him) in a spicy paprika, tomato and vegetable sauce


• Dragon's Breath Chilli - a flavoursome chilli with beef, tomato and three types of bean. Caution: may cause you to belch flame at enemies


• Curiously Tasty Omelette - the occasional raptor foetus just adds to the flavour

Recipes available on request. Rest assured they list alternate ingredients if your local Waitrose doesn't stock the basics, like baby dragon's flame sacs.