Man Product

One easy way to come up with a new fashion trend (and thereby fill a few yards of copy in newspaper style columns and fashion mags) is to take something that traditionally only women wear, and create a male version. Then invent a new name that's a tortured masculine version of the original word.

Finally, get a picture of David Beckham wearing your newly invented product. The best way to do that last bit is to send a free one to Victoria.

So far we've had "guyliner", "mantihose" and now "meggings". What male versions of female accoutrements will the style gurus think of next?

I have some suggestions for them:

Malepolish - Nail polish for men! Comes in a range of practical styles and colourways including "Desert Storm", "Nostril-Proof" and "Hammerite".



Geezerdle - Girdles for geezers! Nuff said.

Chapstick - Lipstick for chaps! (Possible trademark issues with this one.)

Sir-kirts - Skirts with pockets! Actual fucking pockets!! I'm sure no-one's thought of that!

BLUSHMAX! - Accentuates the cheekbones, to the MAX! (Not to be confused with Original Diet Blush, which looks exactly the same but is designed for ladies).



And finally...

Tena-Bloke - For every woman with bladder weakness, there's a man with a weakness for getting bladdered. An absorbant pad that's able to cope with the thinner, faster flow of six pints of Stella.

I welcome your suggestions!