Redefining Femininity
I'm a tranny, I'm also a feminist. The two things sometimes have trouble sitting together. Sometimes I had to think hard about the way I wanted to express myself, because on face value the things I wanted to do seemed to present a rather shallow and negative impression of my feelings about women. Eventually I worked something out in my own head, and it's now time to explain it to you. Because then it's not rattling around my head taking up room that other things can use.
First, here's a concept for you: femininity is completely unrelated to being female. In fact, the words "female" and "femininity" actually suffer from the association that comes from sharing the same root. There should be a different word altogether for femininity, because it's nothing at all to do with being female.
(Okay, lets get the usual disclaimers out of the way: Your mileage may vary. "Tranny" is used in the context of a transvestite and not a transsexual, because I don't really know how transsexuals think so I can't really speak for them. I can't really speak for other transvestites either, but I do anyway because I'm less scared of them beating me up.)
Trannies don't aspire to be female, they aspire to femininity. Why is this important, and why do we need to separate the terms? Because "femininity", especially in trannies' minds, is wrapped up with some potentially unsavoury traits. Traits such as submissiveness, sexually provocative dress and behaviour, even lack of intelligence (feined or otherwise).
Not all trannies of course, see the disclaimer above, and there's also a sliding scale of trannies from the ones who use "Slut" as a surname to the perfectly proper cross-dresser who occasionally confesses to a "blonde moment". They're both displaying traits which are "feminine". You get male sluts, and male blondes, but rightly or wrongly the words aren't seen as masculine.
Lets invent a temporary term for these "negative" traits, and call them Z.
Describe Z as female traits and you'll quite rightly get slapped silly by anyone with half a brain. Women are different from men, it's mad to pretend otherwise, but they're not different for those reasons and anyone who considers otherwise is a misogynist of the worst kind.
The trouble comes down, as a lot of things do, to the way a man's mind works. Men's minds are pre-programmed to be attracted to certain behaviors and traits. The trouble is that these traits are often the ones covered by Z. This isn't excusing men for harbouring non-PC thoughts about women, but unfortunately these are instincts that formed long before PC was invented.
Any normal civilized chap manages to live with these instincts without them controlling his life. And most men also learn to find more sensible things attractive. When a man says he's "attracted to powerful well-dressed intelligent women", he's not lying, but equally the top shelves in the newsagents aren't exactly bulging with titles like "Businesswomen in Nice Suits" and "Young Female Ethnobotanists".
So men find Z attractive. Trannies, being men, also find Z attractive. However, something in a tranny flips this attaction from just lusting after Z to wanting to emulate it.
So,when a certain kind of tranny emulates Z by dressing provocatively, acting submissively and basically pretending to be a bimbo, all in the name of "being more feminine", this can (again quite rightly) be seen as a pretty awful indication of what they think a woman is.
The thing is, most trannies don't think this is what a woman is. They're just aiming for Z, which to get back to my original point is nothing to do with being female.
If you think of Z as a set of traits that are neither female nor male, then both men and women can strive towards it if they want to as (and I use this word in it's Platonic sense) an "ideal".
Obviously I'm not saying that an "ideal" woman displays these traits. That would be moronic. Still, some women play with Z when they want to, and it's more "acceptable" for women to do so rather than men. Women are better at doing it than men too. It's just one of the cultural tools of the trade when it comes to displaying sexuality.
Maybe there should be a proper term for Z that separates it from female and feminity. Then Z can, if necessary, take on all the negative connotations of "degrading" behaviour without being linked intrisically with women.
Well, that's what I think anyway. I hope I explained it well enough that maybe you agree.
First, here's a concept for you: femininity is completely unrelated to being female. In fact, the words "female" and "femininity" actually suffer from the association that comes from sharing the same root. There should be a different word altogether for femininity, because it's nothing at all to do with being female.
(Okay, lets get the usual disclaimers out of the way: Your mileage may vary. "Tranny" is used in the context of a transvestite and not a transsexual, because I don't really know how transsexuals think so I can't really speak for them. I can't really speak for other transvestites either, but I do anyway because I'm less scared of them beating me up.)
Trannies don't aspire to be female, they aspire to femininity. Why is this important, and why do we need to separate the terms? Because "femininity", especially in trannies' minds, is wrapped up with some potentially unsavoury traits. Traits such as submissiveness, sexually provocative dress and behaviour, even lack of intelligence (feined or otherwise).
Not all trannies of course, see the disclaimer above, and there's also a sliding scale of trannies from the ones who use "Slut" as a surname to the perfectly proper cross-dresser who occasionally confesses to a "blonde moment". They're both displaying traits which are "feminine". You get male sluts, and male blondes, but rightly or wrongly the words aren't seen as masculine.
Lets invent a temporary term for these "negative" traits, and call them Z.
Describe Z as female traits and you'll quite rightly get slapped silly by anyone with half a brain. Women are different from men, it's mad to pretend otherwise, but they're not different for those reasons and anyone who considers otherwise is a misogynist of the worst kind.
The trouble comes down, as a lot of things do, to the way a man's mind works. Men's minds are pre-programmed to be attracted to certain behaviors and traits. The trouble is that these traits are often the ones covered by Z. This isn't excusing men for harbouring non-PC thoughts about women, but unfortunately these are instincts that formed long before PC was invented.
Any normal civilized chap manages to live with these instincts without them controlling his life. And most men also learn to find more sensible things attractive. When a man says he's "attracted to powerful well-dressed intelligent women", he's not lying, but equally the top shelves in the newsagents aren't exactly bulging with titles like "Businesswomen in Nice Suits" and "Young Female Ethnobotanists".
So men find Z attractive. Trannies, being men, also find Z attractive. However, something in a tranny flips this attaction from just lusting after Z to wanting to emulate it.
So,when a certain kind of tranny emulates Z by dressing provocatively, acting submissively and basically pretending to be a bimbo, all in the name of "being more feminine", this can (again quite rightly) be seen as a pretty awful indication of what they think a woman is.
The thing is, most trannies don't think this is what a woman is. They're just aiming for Z, which to get back to my original point is nothing to do with being female.
If you think of Z as a set of traits that are neither female nor male, then both men and women can strive towards it if they want to as (and I use this word in it's Platonic sense) an "ideal".
Obviously I'm not saying that an "ideal" woman displays these traits. That would be moronic. Still, some women play with Z when they want to, and it's more "acceptable" for women to do so rather than men. Women are better at doing it than men too. It's just one of the cultural tools of the trade when it comes to displaying sexuality.
Maybe there should be a proper term for Z that separates it from female and feminity. Then Z can, if necessary, take on all the negative connotations of "degrading" behaviour without being linked intrisically with women.
Well, that's what I think anyway. I hope I explained it well enough that maybe you agree.
As someone who was once a tranny who lost privaledges and got demoted to TS status, I can still relate to much of your analysis.
When I used to dress, always in secret I'm not sure who I was emulating, but for one thing she was very badly dressed less emulation than a badly drawn girl! Once transitioned and settled into a female role, I still have to resist the urge to be an uber woman, and embrace the fact that womanhood is painted on a wide canvass. The latent tranny in me sometimes resurfaces in a wildly innapropriate purchaces or the gratuitous use of the word babe in a text
ah.. did that one add you as a flickr contact today too?
Sometimes it does veer into characture but many learn. I know women who would never be seen dead with a skirt on and those who do like to dress up.
I can control that desire as I'm an intelligent man but, unfortunately, some men see a women who likes showing off her legs (for example) and cannot control that part of them. Those are the leering idiots we are all familiar with.
Not sure I've got that quite right either mind you... tricky subject, and v.interesting thoughts.
And does Z = submissive? (in D/s terms), for you get male and female submissives.
As Pandora says, most of the women she knows don't overtly display "feminine" traits. So if women don't normally display them, and men dont need to see them, where do they exist? This is why I have come to think of femininity as an "other", neither male nor female, but accessible by both.
I think your comment about Trannies, defined as TV, not aspiring to being female is very pertinent - one of the points that is oft missed is that the trans world is a broad spectrum and theres as much that separates the TV and TS as there is that unites them - I can't help but feel that if we were honest about that the world would be easier sometimes.
Anyway, I can accept - and relate to - your musings on female v femininity, but where does the feminist reference in the first line fit in? Just wondering?
Take a close look at soap operas and adverts for some real stereotyping of masculine and feminine traits! And if we all conform to our pigeon-hole, we are easier to sell things to.
Gail Trimble, on the other hand, has that swotty English rose jolly hockey sticks thing going on and if I weren't married and she wasn't engaged then I'd head off to Oxford to indulge in some disastrous light romantic comedy behaviour just to meet her.
Way back in my tranny days, I used to base part of my wardrobe on Jennifer Aniston's style in the early-mid period Friends era. I thought she had an attractive look, but not slutty. Same with Ally McBeal (although Callista Flockhart's frowning was annoying). Slutty is a package deal, not just the length of a hemline.
The whole slut style and submissiveness in the tranny world has, I think, less to do with a look or style and more to do with the feelings going on in that person. Do they seek to become submissive in life? Escape into a fantasy world because of various issues and traumas in life? Discuss.
In a way I want to use the word 'sexuality' instead of 'femininity'. That probably says a lot about how accessible I find sexuality as a male. The tranny version of sexuality is very much open and on display, without aggression or competition. That's something that is perhaps more available to women who have stereotypes for everything from the innocent to the slut.
In contrast the male version of sexuality tends to be confined to the alpha male or caveman role. Neither of those attract me.
So as you say, it's not about the way we view women, but more about the ways in which we can express the many layers of our sexuality.
If you can separate femininity from female, then the logical consequence is that you can separate masculinity from male. The equivalent expression of (non-sexualised) masculinity could be the bone-headed thug, always portrayed as being as stupid as the 'bimbo', and almost as much a caricature of what it is to be male.
Perhaps the average trannie is jealous that females are able to express both 'femininity' (Z) and 'masculinity' (W) as they please whereas males ordinarily are only allowed to express (W)? My wife enjoys gardening and has an allotment. When she is working out there she is wearing jeans and an old woollen jumper, digging the soil she is 'expressing' (or being?) (W).
I'm 'allowed' to wear those (W) clothes and 'act' like that without needing a label. But if she is going out for the evening and is wearing a dress and make-up, she is 'expressing' femininity or being (Z). I'm only allowed to do the same under the label of 'trannie'.
It's therefore unsurprising to me that many trannies choose an extreme version of 'Z' as an expression of 'femininity', possibly settling down to a 'less extreme' 'Z' later on.
I'm not jealous of females by gender but of their ability to express themselves throughout a greater range of (Z) to (W).
Perhaps?
I read an article recently by a lady of a certain age who bemoaned the fact that most women are very good at detecting 'mutton' - except when it comes to themselves.
I think this is the same thing in a slightly different guise. I guess us blokes have faulty tart detectors when it comes to ourselves. 8-)
Over the last few weeks I've been at a number of parties (theres a surprise) where I've met a lot of people who've never really met a trannie before. And I've heard a lot of comments along the lines of "you look ok, but most look awful".
What I've tried to explain is its not a case of I look ok, I think its just my motivations different and I'm fearful of coming across like a bad cliche.
But we all have different motivations for why we do what we do. I'm trying to express (and explore) my femininity but others are exploring a fetish or fulfilling a fantasy.
I suspect that if thats your motivation then looking like a dogs dinner or an insulting stereotype isnt really going to be a concern.
Years ago on one of my first nights out, a female friend was absolutely furious with me because I was being rather wet and submissive. She walked up, slapped me across the face and told me "If you're going to be a woman, be a strong one!".
And she was right!
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