Health and Stupidity

Not really in a blogging mood at the moment, but I thought I'd share this with you.

Some Health and Safety bod at the hospital where I work has decided that there's a risk from people opening more than one filing cabinet draw at the same time. So someone has gone around and stuck the following notice on every filing cabinet drawer in the building.

WARNING

DO NOT OPEN MORE THAN
ONE DRAWER (per cabinet)
AT ANY ONE TIME

The bit that made me laugh is the "(per cabinet)" bit. As if that wasn't obvious. The sign writer obviously thought we would blindly follow the orders without understanding the reasons, and the per-cabinet guideline was omitted we'd spend valuable time making sure all the other filing cabinets in the building were closed before we went to open one.

"Hi Steve? This is Simon in IT. I'm about to open a filing cabinet and wanted to make sure you guys in Finance weren't planning on any cabinet action in the near future. Yeah. Okay. Thanks. Yeah 5-nil. Gutted. Bye."

That's not the only example of stupid signage in my workplace. The hospital last year invested in all-new hand towel dispensers for all of the loos on the site. These dispense a flimsy hand-towel that are supposed to be absorbent enough that you only required one sheet to dry your mits.

They aren't. They're very absorbent, but they're too small. One towel gets sopping wet long before your hands are fully dry. So most people take a second one to dry off.

Now, my hospital trust, like many in the country, is hopelessly in the red. Eight million pounds at the last count. "Cost saving" schemes are the order of the day, and some bright spark must have identified that it was hugely expensive that everyone was taking two hand towels every time they washed their hands. So the following signs have appeared on the disensers:

Why take two... when one will do?

Do you see? It rhymes! Note it doesn't actually tell you to just take one. That would be overly forceful. I've thought about adding a bit of graffiti to the bottom.

One won't do, so I took two. Thanks for the advice, though.

Washing hands is a big topic in hospitals. We have a special team responsible for stopping the spread of nasty bugs like Winter Vomiting virus (I've had it - I now believe that projectile vomiting isn't just in the movies). A few years back, they had a competition to design poetry posters to warn of the dangers of not washing your hands. This was one of the winners, still hanging in the bogs outside my office today...

In days of old, when germs were bold,
and drugs were not invented.
Carbolic soap, which was no joke,
was all the spread prevented.

Hmm, nice poem. Notice the problem? According to the poem, Carbolic soap was prevented by the spread of germs. Not the other way around, which would have made a lot more sense but presumably didn't rhyme properly.

Someone from infection control had another whizzo idea recently: Hey! We've got all these computers everywhere. And they all have these screensaver thingies, why don't we put a message about washing your hands on every screensaver! Let's get those IT chaps to sort it!

This, I think you'll agree, is a complete waste of time. Everyone knows you're supposed to wash your hands regularly, and if you're not doing already you're unlikely to start just because your computer tells you to. And besides, screensavers only appear while you're away from your PC. The only time you're going to see it is when you return to your desk from a trip to the loos, see the friendly reminder on your screen and slap your forehead with a fetid hand, "I knew I was supposed to do something after wiping my bum!"

But anyway the big-wigs have decided this is a great idea, and I'm in the department that has to "make it so". We're already working on several designs. I came up with this one, a scrolling message a-la Windows 95.

Where do you want to go today? The toilet? Eww! Wash your hands!

Wow, my blog's turned into one of those industry insider things! I'm a whistleblower! I wonder if I'll get fired.

A Proper Sparkle Post

Good old Joanna Nicholls has posted great blog entry on Sparkle, if you want a better feel for the event.

Coming Down

Morning!

Well, strictly speaking "afternoon" but seeing as I've only just got up, it still feels like morning.

I did try to get up at a reasonable hour today. I even got out of bed at 9.00AM and had a bath. Then exhaustion took over, it's been about 5 days since I had a decent night's sleep, so I crashed again.

Feel better now, so glad I booked Monday off as an extra day of holiday to recover!

So yeeeeeah. Um. I expect some people are expecting me to write about Sparkle. I don't have much to say about it really. It was a great night out clubbing with a lot of trannies on Canal Street. With other stuff too. The fashion show was a hoot. All in all not the debacle it could have been if Kim Angel wasn't such an excellent organiser. Which is a slight shame, because I could have used "The Sparkle Debacle" as a headline which I thought of ages ago. :)

My friend Sophie, who's not the biggest fan of tranny scene events in the world, summed it up excellently: "it feels a bit like a work's do."

I knew exactly what she meant. It was like one of those big trade bashes they have where all the Allied Widget manufacturers get together with conferences and keynote speeches during the day, which are really just a pretense for a huge piss-up in the evening. The people at those things don't really have much in common other than selling widgets, and the international widget trade wouldn't collapse if the event never happened, but after a few beers no-one seems to care.

I didn't have much in common with most of the people at Sparkle, and I don't think it really had any huge effect on the public perception of t*girls, but I still had a great time, and so did Sophie and the rest of my friends.

Which is the main thing. :-)

The Girls Out in Barcelona

And one more tranny pic before I go to bed. This was taken when we finally all got dressed-up at the same time and headed to Club Metro for the second time. Shannon will hate me for posting this one with her completely failing to strike a pose, but as she looks fantastic in nearly every other picture I've taken, and this was one of the few pics from that night where I looked good, I'm posting it anyway!

Toy Armies

One of my favorite pictures of the whole holiday, for some reason. We were in this little shop that sold ceramics, and these little tiny figurines representing different professions. All laid out like army regiments on parade.

Sagrada Familia Door

Detail from the huge doors on one side for the Sagrada Familia. It's covered with words of faith, some highlighted in gold. And look... tucked away on one side...

Back and Blogging

Home at last! I've just finished uploading a huge set of pics to Flickr. A lot of them are for friends only, but here's a public one. Me at the Magic Fountain in Barcelona. More soon! Or you could check out my Flickr Photostream

Back in the UK...

...and on our way to Manchester! Next stop Sparkle. The holiday's not over yet!

Delay

My current view as I lay sprawled out on an airport bench waiting for the extra 2 hours that our flight has been delayed.



Bloody EasyJet.

Woohoo!

I was killing time at a web cafe the before the flight home, and decided to check my UK Angels mail.

For the second year running, Beckysweb has won gold in the "Best TG Personal Site (UK)" category of the Angels Awards! Yay me!!

It´s a really nice suprise, because I´d basically forgotten all about it while I was on holiday. I´d not even seen the nominations!

Looks like Trannifesto got Silver, which suprised me. I really expected Siobhan to take it this year, as her site is SO good both technically and content-wise. I´ll try to catch up with her at Sparkle to buy her a consolation drink. Maybe at the fashion show she´s organised, if we get out of bed in time!

An obscure trivia question to end my Barcelona blog entries...

What do Barcelona's Gaudi and Coronation Street's Alan Bradley have in common?

Anyone who comments with the right answer will win a small prize. ;-)

Out with a bang

A bizarre experience tonight, our last night in Barcelona. I can only describe it as being akin to trannying in a war zone.

We found out fairly recently that our last full night in town coincided with the festival of Saint Joan. From descriptions it sounded fantastic. A huge party all night with fireworks and beach parties until dawn. I decided this was something Becky HAD to partake in. So we got dressed up and headed out.

It's now 1 am. We got back about 2 hours ago and my nerves are still a little frazzled.

Imagine Guy Fawkes night, or the 4th of July. Now imagine that transferred to a city temporarily filled with several thousand pyromaniacs. Now imagine that EVERYONE gets given a lot of explosives and sets to making as much noise as dangerously as possible. On every street and plaza. All night.

We decided to call it a night when someone started firing what looked like a very real gun on a street corner near our block. The red glow of the fairy-light heart that hangs over the street outside our apartment never looked so welcoming!

Not a total disaster of a night though. I did get to see the superb Magic Fountain and took some great shots there.

Sitges, again

To answer some of the comments on the blog recently...

Cyanne: yep the Sagrada is very big. And quite Gaudi.

Steph: No the rickety lift wasn't working, so we took the precipitious spiral staircase to the top of the towers. It was there that I discovered that Jessica, one of the tallest trannies in Christendom, is scared of heights. Oh the irony.

Karol: Sitges is great, I'm on Sitges beach writing this now and it's glorious. Apparently the night life is good too, but as we're staying in Barcelona 20 mins up the coast and the last train is at 10.30 we've not tried it. If I came again I'd stay in Sitges and get the train into Barcelona if I fancied some culture.

Sitges seems to be a popular GBLT destination. On the plane over I was sitting in front of two separate groups of gay guys who were both heading for here!

Gaudi's Sagrada Famila

Awesome.

Monday on the Rambla de Raval

Ah, the joys of the foreign internet cafe!

Thought i´d write a quick blurb seeing as I´m here. Into the second week of the holiday and it´s all becoming a bit of a blur.

We seem to be getting worse and worse at getting up at a reasonable hour. Rising post-meridian is now the norm, followed by a lazy breakfast of baguettes with jam and runny cheese.

Spent most of yesterday in Sitges, a resort town about 30 minutes down the coast from Barcelona. It supposed to be THE gay resort in Spain, but it seemed to be pretty straight to me. One hint of gayness: the obligatory huge pink british man on the beach had two nipple rings.

Holiday fatigue is starting to set in. It seemed a good day to set out on my own for a bit, without a plan of action for the day. This internet cafe on the Rambla de Raval (the poor man´s La Rambla) is a welcome break from never-ending Gaudi´s and tourist traps.

Oh well, suppose I´d better check my emails and then find a bar to quench my thirst.

Hasta luego!

Fw: The Biggest Steak Known to Man

Well, it was.

Militranny

Jess's phone takes better pics but they're impossible to rotate, so you'll just have to crane your neck until I can fix this one.

So this is me getting ready to go out to one of the numerous Arena clubs. Arena is a 'chain' of gay clubs in Barcelona. Get your hand stamped at one and you can visit any of them for free.

Went shopping yesterday, the city is full of vibrant fashion shops. Wearing a new purchase in the pic, pink camo combats!

Tattoo

Thom getting a henna tattoo by the Port Olimpic. Just shows that it's not Just Jessica who has skinny arms, the design nearly went round twice. :-)

Crazy in Love

I've not got any way of getting my camera pictures to my mobile, so the blog pictures are a little ropey.

This is a pic taken last night before going out to Metro, a gay club near our apartment. Great night out, huge alcohol measures, and you've not truly heard Beyonce's 'Crazy in Love' until you've heard it sung in breakneck Spanish by a drag queen.

Writing this outside a bar overlooking the Placa Reial, with the last glow of sunset on the far wall of the Plaza and a large beer next to me. Life is good!

Raval Rooftops

The view from our rented apartment. Not exactly glamorous but I love it! The apartment itself is very well appointed, but it's in the heart of Barcelona's seedy Raval district. Described in one guide as a den for artists, intellectuals, transvestites and prostitutes. We should fit right in, then!

When is a ship not a ship?

When it's a cathedral. And when is a train not a train? When it's a coach.

I've only been travelling for an hour or so and i've already encountered two quintessentially British transport experiences. The London cabby and weekend engineering works.

The cabby was a surprise, living as I do in rural Norfolk. He recently moved here and was surprised how many 'sooties' work in the town. Not that he minds Asians, of course, lovely people.

The picture is of Ely Cathedral, one of the most visually striking buildings in the UK, standing in the middle of the dead-flat Cambridgeshire Fens. It can be seen jutting from the horizon for miles in every direction, and is sometimes called 'The Ship of the Fens'.

I'm writing this while waiting for a rail-replacement coach to take me to Stansted airport. There's usually a very quick train service all the way, but of course not when you actually NEED it.

Random nut-job of the day

Hey, check out my guestbook entries from today:

Name: Bill Bloggs
Location: London
Comment: I think it is simply apalling. Men's clothes are made for a reason. Why don't you you just stick to the right type of clothing. You are an insult to the normal male community.

And...

Name: David Mcheehan
Location: Wiltshire
Comment: I think transvestites ruin this world. They are an insult to community. Please e-mail me if you would like to argue or hopefefully agree with my opinion

Hmmm... anyone else think that "Bill Bloggs" and David Mcheehan might be the same person? Well, Bill and David have the same I.P. address, so maybe they're just two like-minded people who just happen to share the same PC in their bedsit.

I'm not gonna reply, because if he's for real then he's almost certainly not the kind of person who'll respond to reasoned debate. I might reply to thank him for giving a genuine laugh. "Men's clothes are made for a reason," I mean, really!

If anyone feels like apologising for being an insult to the "normal male community", his email address is provided on the guestbook. It appears to be the email for someone called "Richard", so maybe there's three of them sharing a PC.

It's all going off... and so am I

It's all going off in the Angels yahoo forum at the moment. Must be the hot weather overheating those bewigged tranny heads.

One particular bone of contention is the book "My Husband Betty" and it's frank opinions on cross-dressers and relationships. I'm not going to join in on the debates...

a) because my colleagues in the League of Right-Thinking Trannies, Katya and Siobhan are holding the fort quite nicely, thank you.

b) because I'm on holiday tomorrow and quite frankly I cannot find it within me to deign to begin to be arsed. *grin*

I'll try to post some stuff from Barcelona. Normal service will resume in two weeks!

Sodaplay

I'd forgotten just how good sodaconstructor is for whiling away a dull afternoon. It takes a little while to get used to the interface, but it's a great little toy once you get the hang of it.
You can create your own wireframe creature and teach it to walk!
Or just load up a pre-made millipede, and increase the gravity in it's little wireframe world until it's little legs buckle and break under it's own weight!
It's fun, and it is actually quite educational. I had to recall my civil engineering training to design a fun little wireframe demolition ball crane. My Structural Analysis lecturer would be SO proud.

We're jammin'

That was a fun little fake "war" we had over who had the first Tranny blog, wasn't it?

It was my first real taste of how blogs can interact and feed off each other. I was talking on my blog about Joanna's entry into the tranny blogosphere, and (blatantly falsely) suggested that she'd copied my idea. Which propmted Siobhan to put up a item about how she'd created the second tranny-based blog in the UK. Then I countered with a faked version of my blog written back in the 80s, and Siobhan (as I'd hoped) countered with her own cleverly re-created historical blogs. Joanna joined in with a couple of postings, and it turned into a little Photoshop/blogging jamming session.

Miss K wrote a related blog entry, and even Jane over at Slothblog, a non-tranny blogger (with impeccible taste) gave us a mention. All from a little picture I'd knocked up in Photoshop. Very satisfying!

I have a feeling I might be able to dig up an even earlier sample of my blog when I get back from Spain. I've not lost yet!

My nerves...

...can't take this!

I got a message from Jessica last night. "Looks like Sophie's not coming to Barcelona."

"What? Why?"

"She's lost her passport."

A quick call to Sophie confirmed this. Sophie had gone to where she thought she'd left it and it wasn't there. She was frantically searching the house for it, without any luck.

The boat's floating into some very brown-looking water. Still, it isn't that bad. You don't really need a passport these days in Europe, do you? And even if you do, as an emergency you can queue up at the passport office and get a new one the same day.

I checked my guidebook. Spain is part of an agreement with the rest of the EU. You don't need a passport to enter, just photo ID. Unfortunately the UK isn't part of that agreement. British citizens still need to show a passport.

Yep, looks like we're definitely rowing up shit creek.

After a slightly sleepless night for all (Jessica tells me she kept waking up and shouting things like "BEHIND THE BACK OF THE TELLY"!) I came to work and emailed Sophie. No, the passport was still missing. She'd got the forms for a new one, and was filling them in. Feeling a bit helpless, I phoned the passport office.

"Yes, there was a fast track service, but you had to make an appointment, you can't just turn up these days. There aren't any available appointment slots until Monday."

We fly on Saturday.

"Oh, and because it's a lost passport and not a new one, you have to wait one week for it to clear. You'd get the passport on Monday week."

Four days before we're due to come back. Ooops, just dropped the paddle.

Sophie, understandably, wasn't able to concentrate on work and got sent home by a concerned boss with orders to search for the passport.

It turned up. In a Hoover box in the spare room, apparently. Panic over.

I think Jessica summed up the relief of us all when she wrote:

"I need to go to the toilet now!"

Flickring into life

Like most cool things on the Net, I'm only now really discovering how amazingly cool Flickr is! I always tend to arrive late at things that everyone else has known for ages.

Okay, so I'm not the first person to use Flickr, but hey, I blagged a sweet URL!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tranny/

Hee hee!

It's a small, but complicated, world after all

Bear with me while I wade through some exposition.

I'm a member of a Yahoo group called Abajab. Abajab is just a loose collection of friends and friends-of-friends. It's basically a good place to shoot the breeze and post random stuff from the net, not really tranny related at all as most of the people on there aren't trannies. I know a few people on there personally, Sophie, who invited me, and a few other people I know through meeting Sophie.

On Abajab is a guy called Stu, I don't really know Stu except that he lives in Kent, and he seems like a nice guy.

End of part one. Following so far?

A few weeks ago, I went out in Nottingham, with Sophie and a few other trannies (one of which is coincidentally called Stu, but a different Stu), Stu has a girlfriend called Sophie (different Sophie), and works with a guy called Rich, who's married to Julie, who were all there, along with Julie and Rich's friend... who I'll call D.

Now D had never met trannies before... but it seems like this encounter had a profound effect on him. He's cautiously been exploring a side of him he never realised he had before... and has come out as a transvestite, calling herself Daisy. I was a bit cautious about this at first, it's pretty rare (but not unheard of) that transvestism appears unheralded in adulthood, but D seems pretty genuine and happy to have found a new aspect of his personality. I chat to D online occasionally, and Daisy is a regular visitor to my blog!

Still with me? Lots of Stus and Sophies, it's quite confusing.

Anyway, a while ago Stu (Kent Stu) meets up with his friend D in Derby. D has some news, he's discovered a missing part of his identity, Daisy. Stu's not entirely surprised, he happens to know a few trannies on a Yahoo group he's part of. D also knows a couple of trannies online, Becky and Sophie. Stu says he knows that a couple of the people in this group are Becky and Sophie, but it would be a big coincidence if they turned out to be the SAME Becky and Sophie.

Which they turned out to be! I've been trying to get my head round it, to see if there's some logical reason that two friends would know the same trannies through different routes, but it just seems to be a weird coincidence!