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Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Year

To all my readers, thanks for popping by during 2005, and all the best for 2006!
Blogger Siobhan Curran  Have a great one hon! 
Blogger Emilygrae  Happy New Year Becky! 
Blogger Joanna  And a happy new year to you too! 
Blogger hannaviolane  happy new year becky! and keep up the good work on the most interesting site on the net! love han x 
Anonymous Fairly-Odd  Here's to a great 2006!! 
Blogger Freiya  happy new year! yay! 
Blogger Lana  Felice un Nuovo Anno
Have a good New Year and all the best for 2006. 
Blogger Stegbeetle  All the best to you and Jane, too! Happy New Year!! 
Blogger Clarissa  Happy new year! 
Blogger Paula Jay  Happy new year 
Blogger Zoe Bergstroem  and happy new year from me :-) 
Blogger Julie Budd  Oh err... just woke up.It's 2006 already? Happy New Year everyone! 

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Thursday, December 29, 2005

We SO do!


Claires Accessories aiming for the Lavender Pound?

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All quiet on the Eastern Front

Things have been happening, as Things are wont to, but nothing that's eminently bloggable, hence the rather quiet period since Christmas. Also Jane's been over and keeping me amused all week, so I haven't had the time!

Some lists to keep you tiding over:

Christmas Haul:
  • Ickle camera tripod (groovy)
  • Night scope (gadgety)
  • Lots of monies (spendy)
  • Books (wordy)
  • Mikro-man thingy (designery)
  • Jelly Bean tub (yummy)
Food since Christmas Eve:
  • Spag Boll
  • HUGE Chicken with all the trimmings.
  • Trifle
  • Cheese and biscuits.
  • Beef burger pittas (a new invention involving the last thing I had in the fridge added to the only type of bread available in Tesco Extra on Boxing Day.)
  • Cheesy breakfast pittas (gotta use up them pittas)
  • GINORMOUS beef joint with all the trimmings
  • Christmas pud.
  • Leftover trifle.
  • Spag Boll.
To do list:
  • Go on diet.
  • Organise something to wear for Eighties-themed New Year's party at Sophie's.
  • Get dressed today.
  • Go and see a tranny friend of mine and Jane's who's staying in Norfolk. The "fun" part of this meeting is that his wife doesn't know that he's a tranny so we've gotta keep schtum, but everyone around the table will know that I'm tranny because he told his wife (who I've never met) in an attempt to broach the subject with her. Hmm, Evil Becky might make an appearance. Mwhahahahaha! ;-)
Blogger Siobhan Curran  Have fun on New Year's Eve hon :) Eighties-themed parties see to be de rigure this year - I'm off down to Warrington to one that night with Simon and Nikki from gwrb.

If I can find something truely hideous to wear that is ;-) 
Blogger Rachel  I dunno the lives you Trannie Celebs lead... and all my family are doing is going down to Essex to see the New Year in the rest of the tribe. Have fun, you and Jane as well as Evil Becky. ;) You too Siobhan. 
Blogger Victoria Fox  Yer Beef Burger Pittas been their done that and quite nice too :-D 
Blogger Gemma  Well, if anyone's in Manchester village over the New Year, look out for me. Three days of intense partying, dancing, flirting (did I say that?) and seeing out the year in style - especially when in the Dress That Jessica Spotted and Rachel threatened GBH over (though as I look fat in it I'm hoping she'll let me live).

Have great parties, girls - it's been so much fun meeting with you in 2005, I can't wait for 2006 :D
Hugs! Gemma xxx 
Blogger Lana  Have a good New year all, party hard and long but keep safe :) 
Blogger Karol Cross  Hope you all have a super New Years Eve!

I too am heading off to a party, hopefully not an 80's one though!
And Siobhan I may have just the thing for you, as everything I've tried on tonight has indeed been truly hideous! So it looks like no photos from me this New Year.

I hope you all start 2006 in a happy and contented way.
See you next year! x 

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Monday, December 26, 2005

Boxing Day


Got a bit warmer once we got in amongst the trees though! :)

Labels:

Blogger The Humanity Critic  Happy Holidays!! 
Blogger Freiya  oooh! lovely pictures, there's nothing quite like a bracing boxing day walk eh?
happy belated christmas :) 
Blogger Sylvia  Nice Photos. I really enjoy sunsets. 

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Boxing Day


The day after Christmas is called Boxing Day in the UK and some other Commonwealth Countries, and is a national holiday.

It's tradionally spent either:
a) shopping in the sales
b) going for long walks in the vain belief that this will cancel out the huge amounts of food you ate the day before.

Jane and I opted for the latter, and went for a bracing walk on Holkham beach, on the North Norfolk coast. With a strong north-easterly and nothing between us and Norway it was exceptionally bracing!

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55 BUS


Must be a rich bus driver to afford a custom plate. :)

Anonymous Vic  Hope you weren't driving that close AND trying to take a photo at the same time. That could result in an ex-Becky. 
Blogger Siobhan Curran  Is Norfolk Green a bit like an East Anglian version of Solyent Green? 
Blogger Becky  Yes, hence their short lived and controversial advertising campaign "Norfolk Green is People!" 
Anonymous Vic  Is that anything like 'Soylent Green'? That was people too. 
Blogger Becky  Vic, I refer you to the comment Siobhan made some moments ago. (And I'll try to avoid adding "mehhh, duh brain!") ;-) 
Anonymous Vic  As I found after I had written it - tart! 

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Saturday, December 24, 2005


And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said
many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you.
Blogger Joanna  Happy Xmas to you too! 
Blogger Paula Jay  Have a wonderful Christmas - I have enjoyed your countdown to Xmas. 
Blogger Clarissa  Merry Christmas to you as well and thanks for the weird and wonderful links over the last 24 days. 
Blogger Selina  All the best Becky.

And congrats on all 24 days. 
Blogger Emilygrae  Merry Christmas Becky! I haven't enjoyed a Christmas countdown as much for a long long time. =) 
Anonymous Anonymous  Hope you have a great Christmas Becky. I've enjoyed your advent e-calendar too!

Becky T 
Blogger Lana  Buon Natale, have a good one.
Nice pic and the advent calendars been a lot of fun :) 
Anonymous Anonymous  Merry Chrismakwaanzakkan, Charlie Brown! 
Blogger Lisa Lindstrom  Merry Christmas to you also! 

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Friday, December 23, 2005

Badges

I’m a transvestite from Norfolk. What are you?

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be another blog entry about TV/TS/TG “labels”, I think that’s more or less been done to death. In fact let’s use a different word. Rather than talking about labels let’s talk about badges.

I’m interested in the cultural groups that people ascribe themselves to when they think about “what am I”. You choose the badges that apply to you and use them when asked “where are you from” or “why do you do that” or “what are you into”.

In many ways these badges provide a sense of belonging and purpose. I cross-dress because I’m a transvestite. I love open countryside because I’m from Norfolk. I can wear those badges with pride, and feel a sense of community with others who wear the badge too.

Plus, those two badges aren’t mutually exclusive. I can wear both because one of them is about location and one of them is about gender and sexuality. But it seems that many people wear more than one badge from each category.

Take the “where do you come from” badge. This might seem quite straightforward – you can only be born in one place – but for some people it seems quite fluid. Jane’s ability to change tribal roots to suit different situations always impresses and amuses me. She uses her three-quarters-Irish parentage to explain why she needs another glass of wine. A Northern upbringing is apparently responsible for her being a lot less sensitive to the cold than I am, me being a nesh Southerner and all. Of course she conveniently forgets that she was born in London, unless the conversation requires her to proudly boast of her Cockney heritage!

This brings me in a roundabout kind of way to the point I’m trying to make. What’s the minimum you have to do to get to wear the badge of membership? In particular, the transvestite badge that I and a lot of my friends wear.

Charlotte asked recently whether someone who was unwilling or unable to dress could be a “non-practicing transvestite”. I caught Siobhan the other day apologising for not posting more tranny-related stuff in her blog, as if her status as a tranny blogger would lapse if she didn’t mention frocks once a week. I do it too. If I haven’t posted a picture of Becky to my blog for a month or so I begin to feel like a bit of a fraud.

Which got me thinking what does constitute the minimum set of behaviours or characteristics that entitles someone to call themselves part of tranny culture?

When you start to think about it, it’s very hard to pin down. The simple answer is “you have to dress up like a woman”. Yes but, how often? How long can you go without dressing before your transvestite membership lapses? What about all the guys out there who’ve never worn more than bra and panties, or a bit of makeup, but still feel like a transvestite? And what about all the men who dress fully like women but don’t identify as transvestite at all?

The more I thought about it the more I realised there isn’t a minimum set of behaviours that entitles you to call yourself a transvestite, because there’s no one thing that identifies and is common to all of the transvestites I know.

Let me modify that. Theirs is one thing that entitles you to call yourself a transvestite: calling yourself a transvestite. If you’re willing to wear the badge then you should be allowed to wear it. You’re just as entitled to it as I am.

Labels: ,

Blogger Jane  Of course she conveniently forgets that she was born in London

I was born in North London. That counts. 
Blogger S  Odd , I had been thinking this simular question the other day. My conclusion is you wear the hat around people that people expect to see and you will do it without thinking about it, but the little voice inside your head tells you what label really defines you. Practice or not that lable does not change. 
Blogger Karol Cross  "you wear the hat around people that people expect to see"

I tend to agree. But it also made me wonder about trannie behaviour. Does the fact that we're all part of the tranniesphere actually influence our behavior as trannies?

That is, if we'd had no internet access, would we have developed in a significantly different direction? Or by wearing the label, are we buying into a certain set of preconditions? 
Blogger Lana  I think it's an indiviual thing, we're all different and we all also change direction ourselves at times as in the way we dress eg.
Ive gone through the tacky glitzy tranny look, to Goth, to elegant and now I dress mostly androgynous unless Im going somewhere that I need to dress up more for. It suits me in that I can dress all the time and just need to vary the amount of femme I add to the mix.
Ive noticed a lot more Trannys here (NZ) doing the same.

Avere Buon Natale e felice un Nuovo Anno.
Have a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year.
xoxo 
Blogger Tabitha  Wow. What an interesting concept! I suppose it all depends on how you look at it, but if you wear women's clothing on any sort of regular basis, I would think you would qualify.

But the question you posed by asking "How long can you go without dressing before your transvestite membership lapses?" is really a quite fascinating one!

If one has not 'dressed up' for the last year, maybe 2, does her TV license expire?

Definitely evokes some deep thought. Thanks!

And Merry Christmas! 
Anonymous Fairly-Odd  Short answer:

If you’re willing to wear the badge...

That about says it for me. Now if you happen to live in a locale where it's cool and the in thing to be a tranny, then please send me a postcard.

Otherwise, I think we all go through the things we go through before coming to terms, calling a spade a spade, and moving on about our business of dressing like girls... ;)

Oh, and Merry Christmas! 
Anonymous Mia  Ah. Calling a Spade a Spade. It takes what seems like forever to get there, but when you finally do it is great.

Now that I've let my parents in on the whole thing they're working that way. I've been there for a while now and I'm getting annoyed that they can't just up and accept it. Which is dumb. All I need to do is look back an remember what a hard time I had..... 

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So here it is Merry Christmas,
Everybody's having fun.
Look to the future now,
It's only just begun.
Blogger Lana  LOL no comment!!!! 
Blogger steph_angel  Weebl & Bob are THE BEST...We've got our son some Weebl & Bob stuff for xmas, and I can't wait to play with it :-) 
Blogger Becky  I love Weebl and Bob too. Particularly when Bob's allowed to excercise his Flash skills, as in this example.

"PING!" :-) 
Blogger Jane  "I think inside the box"

utter brill again 
Anonymous Beki  I prefer the Toast King! He's brilliant.

"Yeeeeehhhhh!! Fine moon cheese! 

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Thursday, December 22, 2005

We three queens of Orient are

Blogger Lana  Well having had a few trips to Rome there probably would be some transvestites near the Nativity scene :) 

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Christmas Tranny

W00t, guess who's number one on Google for christmas tranny! ;-)
Blogger Siobhan Curran  Two results above "Giant cock". Now that's something to be proud of... 
Blogger Becky  Yes, I thought so. :grins inanely: 
Blogger Clarissa  "Giant cock" is the next one down now.... so own up, whose been clicking on it? 

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A novel way of spamming

In the never-ending war between spammers and spam-filterers, the latest trick seems to be to start messages with a passage of unrelated fiction. This fools the spam filter into allowing it. They then do some HTML trickery to hide this passage and replace it with the hard-sell spam or phishing one when you view it.

The passages they start with, while apperently random, seem to be stitched together from real literary works. Here's an example I extracted from a piece of spam I got earlier today:
Paul could smell frying skin, burning fat. I'm half-unclad!
She put her arms about his neck, bringing the firm of her breast more fully into his hand. Poor things. Suddenly the noise of the riding lawnmower was louder. Then she led them into the kitchen. If your sinuses closed up tight and you couldn't breathe through your mouth. And suddenly she knew the reason for that terrible thundery feeling that had been inside her ever since Saturday Night. Millions might scoff, but only because they failed to realize how pervasive the influence of art - even of such a degenerate sort as popular fiction - could become.

In my opinion, that's a mini masterpiece! It's like reading 10 different novels at once!

I find myself wanting to know what happened to Paul. Who was on the lawnmower? What was the reason for the terrible thundery feeling??

I'm considering accepting the offer for a managerial post at Honda, that was attached below the story. Just to find out what happens next. All I have to do is give them my bank account details...
Blogger Mother Damnable  ...so that's how you spell pervasive!

Goggled in after a search on the Pogues!

Hey Becky 
Anonymous Anonymous  I got the same spam and googled some of the lines. If you want to find out what happens to Paul, read Steven King's "Misery." 

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Booze


There are times when the slow shutter speed on my mobile really annoys me. But it's accurately captured the blur of frenzied bottle-removing that occured a few seconds after my boss dropped this crate of wine on my desk.

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Blogger Jane  mmmm splishy splashy 
Blogger Siobhan Curran  Swap you that lot for my Captain Jack picture

(kidding) 
Blogger Becky  LOL, I almost made that the tagline to the picture Siobhan. I was going to ask how many bottles it would take. :) 

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The next big TV re-invention

I think someone should re-invent Mr Ben for the millenium.

Think about it, re-do Mr Ben in live action with a proper American TV show budget. Make it like Quantum Leap!

Imagine the credit sequence, quick cuts through Mr Ben riding a horse as a cowboy, kissing a lady as a twenties private detective, being punched in the face during a boxing match. All with a pumping and catchy version of the theme tune and “MR BEN” scrolling across the screen in huge letters! How cool would that be?!

Each week Mr Ben goes to the clothes shop and chooses a fancy-dress outfit, and when he puts it on and steps through the other door of the changing room, he’s transported in time and space to a place where he’s really living the life of the person who would wear that costume. He then faces challenges, like saving the wild west town from Red Indians, or killing the medieval dragon, ably assisted by the Shop-keeper (played by Harry Hill) who appears occasionally to offer sage advice. At the end he steps back through a door and finds himself back in the clothes shop.

The recurring baddie is Mr Steve, an evil genius with his own magical costume shop who ransacks history for his own ends. Other recurring characters are the gang of street-wise kids on Festive Row and Mr Ben’s love interest, the feisty Miss George.

This stuff writes itself! If any TV producer is reading this, get in contact. I’ll have a treatment on your desk before Christmas.
Blogger Siobhan Curran  I was always hoping for an episode in which this happened...

As if by magic, the shopkeeper appeard. "What would you like to try on today?" he asked. Mr Ben hesitated for a moment. "That one" he said, pointing to a French Maids outfit 
Blogger Becky  Snap. :-)

Expected result...

The shopkeeper fixed Mr Ben with a hard stare. His voice became a low growl.
"Get out," he said, pointing firmly at the door.
 
Blogger Pandora Caitiff  Harry Hill as the shopkeeper? Inspired casting. Damn you EnVeritie! I want to watch this show now! 
Blogger sim  Now theres a show with potential.
Billy Connolly in the lead please.
I always wanted Mr Benn to swear a little more.

It beats my idea for getting Sami Raimi to remake Rainbow Xena Style.
Jane : Warrior minstral. 
Blogger Joanna  Apparently there were plans for a live action Mr Benn movie a year or so ago. With John Hannah as Mr Benn and Ben Kingsley as the Shopkeeper. Think it died in development hell... 
Anonymous Chrissy Rogers  You owe me a new keyboard... I've just coughed up half an Easter egg laughing at Mr Benn and the French Maid outfit, and it's all yeuccchhh and phlegm, with odd keys peeking out... 

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The holly and the ivy,
When they are both full grown,
Of all trees that are in the wood,
The holly bears the crown.
Blogger Becky  Thanks for this one Kris, you old perv. ;-)

Oh, if you're wondering how the the verse relates, the blonde's name is Holly, the brunette's Ivy. Honest. 
Blogger Lana  thats pretty cool, sent a couple of guys I know one of those :) 

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Park and Pride

"It is spacious, well-lit and adorned with beautiful red brickwork, complemented by slinky silver vertical aluminium fins that create a rippling wave effect."

London may have The Gherkin, Cardiff may have it's Stadium, and Edinburgh it's Parliament, but now King's Lynn has it's own modern architectural claim to fame.

For now we are officially home to Britain's Best Car Park.

It beat out strong competition from Liverpool and Edinburgh to take the coveted number one spot in a poll of the UK's best parking locations. The judge, who is an expert in these matters having written two books on roundabouts, said: "When I saw the St James multi-storey car park in King's Lynn it was love at first sight."

I've made a pilgrimage to the new building myself a couple of weeks ago and I must admit it does have a spacious feel. You don't have to take any bumper-scraping sharp corners to navigate it, perhaps because the architects knew that most Norfolk cars are used to long straight country roads and not this new fangled "steering".

So I urge you, visit King's Lynn in 2006! You'll not find an amazing night-life, our culinary, shopping and cultural highlights are nothing to write home about, but at least you'll have somewhere nice to park.

Building a Masterpiece
Before it was famous. The car park being built, way back in May.

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Blogger steph_angel  Here in little Derby, we may not have the Best car park, but we do have the Safest. It's soooooooooo safe that it recently appeared in a list of the 10 most secure buildings in the world...Yes, the World!!! It came in just behind Area 51... Not too sure what that says about Derby??? 
Blogger Joanna  Does it have special bays for tractors? 
Anonymous Sophie Green  It doesn't need them, Steph rarely drives into town... 

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From base to summit, gay and bright,
There's only splendor for the sight.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy candles shine so brightly!
Blogger Becky  Thanks to Jessica for finding this one. I've always loved the other Grow puzzles. Once you've got the hang of the tree, try the other ones! :-) 

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Regarding Macs, Cocks, Ligatures, Wikipedia, Shane McGowan and Hear'Say

Presented, in it's raw form (i.e. I couldn't be arsed to format it), an electronic discourse between myself and Ms. Siobhan Curran. Sincere apologies for mis-spellings and typographical errors.

Enjoy.


Siobhan Curran: Bah Humbug
beckyenverite: Ho ho ho!
Siobhan Curran: Don't you go all festive on me young lady
beckyenverite: I'm working on Advent Calendar day 24 as we speak, I have to be
Siobhan Curran: Go on, post a picture of your knob in a santa hat on Christmas eve
beckyenverite: Don't you love it when your computer lies to you? "Your pen tablet is installed and ready to use." SO WHY IS IT NOT WORKING THEN???
Siobhan Curran: I don't have these problems - I'm on a Mac remeber?
Siobhan Curran: It All Works
beckyenverite: Oh yes and macs never have any problems...
Siobhan Curran: None
Siobhan Curran: :-P
beckyenverite: That line only works on people who've never owned and run a mac
beckyenverite: It all Works for a given value of Works
Siobhan Curran: I know what I'm getting you for Christmas then
beckyenverite: A Psion Organiser!
Siobhan Curran: An Amstrad!
beckyenverite: Now THAT was an operating system that always worked
Siobhan Curran: "Worked" as in "bzzzed you can do fuck all on me"
beckyenverite: Sorry are we talking about Macs again?
Siobhan Curran: :-P
beckyenverite: Fished in!
Siobhan Curran: Dammit - get this hook out of my mouth
beckyenverite: Still at least you'll be spared the joys of Internet Explorer.
Siobhan Curran: People have been lamenting that - personally, Id like to say Good Riddance to the fucker
beckyenverite: Yeah I think it's A Good Thing.
Siobhan Curran: I am going to buy you a Mac - that is now my Quest
beckyenverite: Oooh
beckyenverite: I'm also quite agnostic about Lexus cars.
beckyenverite: If you fancied converting me.
Siobhan Curran: That's :Lexi"
beckyenverite: lol
Siobhan Curran: Aha!
beckyenverite: Aha?
beckyenverite: Oh i see.
Siobhan Curran: Alan Partridge
beckyenverite: The Partridge reference
Siobhan Curran: Yep
beckyenverite: And so we get back to Xmas
beckyenverite: What's a "Christmassy" font?
beckyenverite: Apart from Comic Sans, obviously.
Siobhan Curran: Don't - I succumbed and bought a ticket to Belfast today
beckyenverite: Nice, you can meet up with my work mate Darren, he's there for 2 weeks.
Siobhan Curran: I was asked "is that smoking, non-smoking, or anti-gay=zealous protest?"
beckyenverite: If you see a morbidly obese version of Bill Bailey, go up and say "I've been out in a frock with your workmate Simon!"
Siobhan Curran: Yeah, narrow it down for me a bit hon
Siobhan Curran: "morbidly obese version of Bill Bailey"
Siobhan Curran: That would be half the Province
beckyenverite: LOL
Siobhan Curran: THe other half just don;t have beards
beckyenverite: LOL
beckyenverite: You're all bah humbug now, but by Sunday you'll be belting out Fairytale of New York
Siobhan Curran: Yes, but by Sunday I might *just* be drunk enough
Siobhan Curran: I need to get to bed
beckyenverite: Siobhan Curran - Shane McGowan and Kirsty McCall in one handy package.
Siobhan Curran: Minus the rotar-blades
beckyenverite: Ow
Siobhan Curran: Indeed
beckyenverite: And with better teeth
Siobhan Curran: No, actually
Siobhan Curran:
beckyenverite: Well, if you ever need a costume for a party... the genetic combination of the two WOULD look quite cool
Siobhan Curran: Shane McGowan actually has better teeth than me
Siobhan Curran: I cold probably go as a combination of the two without much work
beckyenverite: He has no teeth... I saw him on something last night.
Siobhan Curran: Teeth get in the way of drink
Siobhan Curran: :-)
Siobhan Curran: Or so the boys from the NYPD CHoir tell me
beckyenverite: LOL
beckyenverite: I coulda bin sumwun!!!!
Siobhan Curran: Yeah, so could anyone
beckyenverite: lol
Siobhan Curran: But not with *that* blogger.com template
Siobhan Curran: You took my Dreamweaver from me...
beckyenverite: This conversation requires more creative processor time than I currently have available.
Siobhan Curran: Me too
beckyenverite: lol
Siobhan Curran: A complete Fairy Tale of New York rephrased to blog/html references takes time
Siobhan Curran: And it could be a CHristmas no. 1 2006
Siobhan Curran: Or perhaps not
beckyenverite: No, perhaps not. I doubt it would capture the public's imagination.
Siobhan Curran: It would if I got me cock out
Siobhan Curran: :-)
Siobhan Curran: No really
beckyenverite: Hmm, "Becky" looks horrible in Monotype Corsiva
Siobhan Curran: We'd seel in excess of *FIVE* copies
beckyenverite: The tails of the K and the Y get in a big fight.
beckyenverite: And by the time you've kerned them nicely they're miles apart.
beckyenverite: OH WHO'D BE ME? CANCEL CHRISTMAS!!
Siobhan Curran: Sorry, did you just go all typographic on me?
beckyenverite: Something I'm half-heartedly poking at in photoshop
Siobhan Curran: I was talking about my COCK
beckyenverite: I'm filtering that out at some level.
Siobhan Curran: And youre talking about kerning
Siobhan Curran: You;re weird
beckyenverite: I dunno, could be a good TV show
Siobhan Curran: :-)
beckyenverite: Cocks and Kerning
beckyenverite: Porn and typography, together at last
Siobhan Curran: Presented by Carol Smilie
beckyenverite: lol
beckyenverite: In a moment, rimming, but first here's Nigel with the latest ligatures.
Siobhan Curran: SO Lawrence - you cock is 72pt. With a 120pt leadning, yes?"
beckyenverite: And so on
Siobhan Curran: LOL!
Siobhan Curran: Blog that one
Siobhan Curran: It;s brilliant
beckyenverite: I dunno, it needs work
Siobhan Curran: Nah, "Latest ligatures" is raw gold
beckyenverite: Fi!
Siobhan Curran: fl?
beckyenverite: erm ... ae
Siobhan Curran: THat's not a ligature!
Siobhan Curran: THat's just a weird Scandinavian typo
Siobhan Curran: "put be chicken in de baesket..."
beckyenverite: lol
beckyenverite: it is a ligature if you join it together...
beckyenverite: i'm trying to find it in keycaps
Siobhan Curran: Only if the letters conflict when kerned
Siobhan Curran: ae is a letter
beckyenverite: gotcha
Siobhan Curran: isn't it?
Siobhan Curran: I don;t know BTW
beckyenverite: hmm... is ae a ligature...
Siobhan Curran: lets find out...
beckyenverite: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AE_ligature
Siobhan Curran: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ligature_(typography)
Siobhan Curran: Oooh
beckyenverite: So now we know
Siobhan Curran: Wikiconflict
beckyenverite: I think we are both right
Siobhan Curran: DaMM
Siobhan Curran: I hate when we're bothright
Siobhan Curran: My favourite ligtature is &
beckyenverite: I just think it's ironic we needed an Encyclopædia to find it out.
Siobhan Curran: :-)
beckyenverite: (did that ligature work by the way)?
beckyenverite: & meaning et
Siobhan Curran: Yep
beckyenverite: ooh, we are so clever
Siobhan Curran: & Mean et c
beckyenverite: i thought it meant "et" as in "french for and"
Siobhan Curran: Trannies On The Edge
Siobhan Curran: It;s Latin - et cetera
Siobhan Curran: isn't it?
Siobhan Curran: no, you're right...
Siobhan Curran: The ampersand
Et ligature in Insular Minuscule script.
Perhaps the most common ligature is the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ampersand: "&". This was originally a ligature of 'Et', http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin for 'and'.
beckyenverite: It's not a ligature, it's a logogram!
beckyenverite: We're learning tonight.
Siobhan Curran: Of course, Wikipedia is all http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hearsay
Siobhan Curran: logogram is my new favourite word
beckyenverite: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hear%27say ?
beckyenverite: logogram is a cool word, indeed
Siobhan Curran: That's what I was oping to link to
beckyenverite: heheh
beckyenverite: Wow...
Siobhan Curran: I'm going to trundle to bed
beckyenverite: The name derives from the phrase "and per se and", meaning "and [the symbol which] by itself [is] and".
Siobhan Curran: What
Siobhan Curran: Hear'say?
beckyenverite: No, the word "ampersand"
Siobhan Curran: That makes more sense
Siobhan Curran: :-)
beckyenverite: Goodnight... thanks for the informative and wide-ranging discourse.
Siobhan Curran: :-P
Siobhan Curran: And thank you for the intellect &c
Siobhan Curran: Which is odd, becuase my typing has been full of 1&2> recently
Siobhan Curran: 2&>! even
Siobhan Curran: 2>1
Siobhan Curran: Bugger
Siobhan Curran: 2>&1
beckyenverite: lol
Siobhan Curran: Something like that
Siobhan Curran: "Stream STDERR to STDIN" basically
beckyenverite: You've lost me now.
beckyenverite: Go to bed.
Siobhan Curran: I am a geek, but a pretty geek
beckyenverite: I'm going to blog this entire conversation.
Siobhan Curran: All of it?
Siobhan Curran: Every dingle word?
beckyenverite: except for this bit
beckyenverite: and i might edit out the typos
Siobhan Curran: Becky Enverite is a no-good whore who hangs around street corners looking for guys with manky knobs
Siobhan Curran: All of it?
Siobhan Curran: La la la
Blogger Jessica  god that looks boring, glad i didn't read too much of it 
Anonymous Lauren Teo  Becky is a Psion fan!

Those things really did always work, no matter how hard I tried to break it....

I miss my Revo. :( 
Blogger Gemma  Yeah, it's horrible what trannies get up to in private, isn't it? Far worse than I thought. 
Blogger Jane  I was going to say you two seriously need to get out more, but then I remembered that Bex has had the fun filled packed excitement stuffed last 4 weekends and she is still getting excited about typography.

I worry, really I do.... ;-) 

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I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas Day in the morning.
Blogger Becky  Oh and happy birthday Karol!! I know how much you love... er... battleships. 

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Monday, December 19, 2005

Thora

It was my Nan's funeral today.

Not much to say except it was a good service, given by a priest who knew my grandmother well and delivered it with genuine compassion. Afterwards there was a wake at a nearby function hall, at a beautiful spot just a couple of miles from my house.

Leziate
Blogger Joanna  Was thinking of you yesterday. Glad to hear it all went OK. Hugs. Jo x 
Blogger Jessica  Thinking of you too hun xx 
Blogger hannaviolane  yes me to becky, glad it went as ok as they can i guess and hope you are to and that you have a lovely christmas as well...Han x 

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Frosty the Snowman,
Was a jolly happy soul,
With a corncob pipe and a button nose,
And two eyes made out of coal.

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Sunday, December 18, 2005

iQuad


File under "gifts for the gadget freak tranny who has everything".

Blogger Gemma  Should I be proud or ashamed: what is this? It looks like rather boring eyeshadow. 
Blogger Becky  Yep Gemma. It's an attempt to jazz up a rather boring eyeshadow by putting it in a iPod-esque packaging and making each variety a different colour to give it an iMac/iPod mini vibe. 
Blogger Siobhan Curran  ...and far off in the west, the distant sound of Cupertino's lawyers grows to a crescendo 

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Here we come a-wassailing
Among the leaves so green;
Here we come a-wand'ring
So fair to be seen.
Blogger Paula Jay  LOL 
Blogger sim  Grins.

(OMG, is this the level of my humour?) 

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Saturday, December 17, 2005

Angelic


Enjoy this while you can i'm probably going to delete it when i'm sober. :-)

Blogger Rachel  Staying in and watching the final of "Strictly Come Dancing" instead of going to "Angelic" certainly wasn't justified by the outcome - what ate we going to do with the British general public? Hope you're having a better time - wouldn't be difficult! 
Anonymous Mia  I stayed home and watched Love Actually the other day. British comedies. Yay. Hugh Grant as the Prime Minister was absolutely awesome.

"Britain is a...proud country. Home of...Sean Connery, Harry Potter, and David Beckham's right foot. David Beckham's left foot come to it."

Great great movie. 
Blogger Pandora Caitiff  Didn't like Love Actually, but loved Bill Nighy's line, "Thank you Ant and/or Dec." 
Anonymous Emily Lawton  I'm drunk tooo!!! And don't delete it, you look bloody damn great!!! I am very jealous of your looks! Enjoy your crimbo time!!!! 
Anonymous Stacey  Aww I never saw you over at PP. We could of had one of our legendary micro-chats - yuletide style. 
Anonymous Anonymous  The thing about PP is that most people put their signature in the wrong place. And anyway isn't it supposed to be lower case? p.p.

Peace.

War. 
Blogger Becky  Wuh? :-S 

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You better watch out,
You better not cry.
You'd better not pout,
I'm telling you why.
Blogger Joanna  Great Idea!

Got 6/6 too... :-) 
Blogger Jane  Yay got them all, even the two you didn't show me beforehand when you were testing the idea! 
Blogger Siobhan Curran  Argh! Comic Sans! My Eyes! 
Blogger Becky  Well if you'd like to explain how you have an Utterly Merry Christmas Aerial Sleigh-Ride Comic Sans Tranny Landmark Recognition Quiz without using Comic Sans I'd love to hear it! Quite frankly the whole idea sounds preposterous! 

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Friday, December 16, 2005

Office banter

John: Have you seen that advert with the two guys kissing?

Andy: God if I see that I'm going to complain!

John: But you wouldn't complain if it was two girls kissing?

Andy: No, but that's not the point. I just don't want to sit down in front of the TV and see two guys snogging!

Me: You're a real homophobe aren't you Andy?

Andy: No! I just don't want it thrust down my throat!

...

Badum-ching.
Blogger Lana  lol did he realise what he said??? 
Anonymous Fairly-Odd  Probably... He just prefers to take things slow. ;-)
(leaving now) 
Anonymous Mia  Wow. How.....sexist. And homophobic. And hilarious! At least if you're gonna be prejudiced be funny about it. 

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Once in royal David's city,
stood a lowly cattle shed.
Where a mother laid her baby
In a manger for His bed.
Mary was that mother mild,
Jesus Christ her little child.
Blogger Lana  lol cute :) made me smile, needed that right now 
Anonymous Beki  Have you seen Luke 1:35?

How appropriate!! 

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Thursday, December 15, 2005

Mini bah humbug

Call me an old curmudgeon if you will, but please don't send me a Christmas "e-card". You know, the ones where you get sent an email and then click on a link to go and view it on the website.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the moment you click on the link it sends a message to the card site confirming that your email address is real and you're the kind of person who clicks on any crap that arrives in their inbox, and they stick you on every spam list going!
Blogger Rachel  OK Becky, no e-card. But a Christmas greeting... "Don't get too pissed, mate." :) 
Blogger Michelle Faith  my mum sends me this stuff constantly. It's no wonder I'm always fixing her computer. Merry Christmas anyway. 
Anonymous Fairly-Odd  You old curmudgeon! You don't want any spam for Christmas?? 
Blogger Clarissa  E-Cards? I'm still trying to stop my mum sending me a normal cardboard one through the post. Dunno why she bothers as I tend to see her every Sunday for dinner as it is. :S 
Blogger Lana  ok well thats one less I have to send. Actually Ive never had much bother with ecard sites or my computer buggering up, I send and get them all the time, I like them better than paper cards. 

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Beyond the rim of the starlight,
My love is wandering in starflight.
I know he’ll find in star clustered reaches,
Love, strange love a star woman teaches.
Blogger Jessica  Great! shame it doesnt work though you big leecher! Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (rehost the graphic ;) 
Blogger Becky  A shiny chocolate coin to the first person who can tell me what song these are the lyrics to, preferably before they click on the link. ;-)

Bonus chocolate coins if you know who wrote them and why they wrote them. 
Blogger Jessica  Roddenberry wrote that for the original star trek theme tune but it was never sung, he just did it to secure royalties. Everyone with a star trek encyclopedia knows that! Oops, did I just say that on the internet? :-/ 
Blogger Becky  I wasn't leeching, I just thought it was better to link to the site where I found the picture rather than copy the file off uncredited.

The site is here. Cheesy Kirk/Spock stuff. If they'd have had a proper page to link to I'd have stuck the link is, but the way it's laid out they stuck all the links on one page. Don't blame me for their shit design! :-) 
Blogger Emilygrae  Not just cheesy kirk/spock stuff, but they seem to assume that they were not only gay but had a thing for each other. Hmmm... never really thought about it, but maybe. 
Blogger Becky  That's the clean site Emily! You may have never thought about it, but some guys have. A lot. :-| 

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Gents, Ladies, "Ladies"

How many trannies live in your home town? A few dozen maximum, maybe?

If you come from Nova Iguacu, a city on the outskirts of Rio De Janeiro, it's more like 28 thousand. So many in fact that they're talking about giving them their own loos.
Blogger Gemma  The Mayor certainly knows his trannies: "And transvestites like to spend". Boy, do we just.
28,000 out of 800,000. Wow. WOW. Who counted them? I mean, you can't get 20 trannies in the same room at the same time without one needing to go to the bar, or powder her nose, or something. (re: cat herding).
And does this approach "normal" population? That's about 7% of men - which sounds a bit high. If they're *proper* trannies of course. For a given value of "proper". 
Blogger Lana  Well Braazil supposedly has a higher % of TGs per capita than most places so maybe we're better respected there I dunno.
As I posted on Cathi's blog, I personally use the male loos mostly but try to pick quiet times. I get more flack from guys than if I use a female one, in actual fact we can be charged here in New Zealand if any women complain about us using theirs. We do have a lot of unisex loos here and Australia which is handy. Better than labelling a loo for **T** use.
Define *proper* trannies, is that like in *prim and proper??* ;) 

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A spaceman came travelling on his ship from afar,
'Twas light years of time since his mission did start,
And over a village he halted his craft,
And it hung in the sky like a star, just like a star.
Blogger Becky  I can't believe I've sunk to Chris De Burgh lyrics. :-/

Cool game though, has anyone managed to rescue the dog yet? :-) 
Blogger steph_angel  I managed to complete the earlier version of this game, but this one has got me stumped...

Good job I have the day off today... the xmas shopping can wait :-) 
Blogger Joanna  Bah Steph, which bit you stuck on? Was a little more difficult than the last one, cos you had to drag things in this one rather than just click on them. Very good fun though and graphically lovely. 
Blogger Joanna  and yeah... I rescued the dog.. :-) 
Blogger steph_angel  Well I'm guessing I'm quite close to the end...I've met the fat thing watching telly, I've altered the TV, sucked his hat off, moved a few vines, but still can't get the dog!!!

I also forgot to make a note of the level passwords... So I've got to work out the combination of those damn little wheels again!!! 
Anonymous Beki  I got the dog, in the free version, I'm too cheap to pay for the proper version all though I do want it now!! With the wheels, just line up the red ends! 
Blogger Lana  got as far as the monkey swinging on the poppys, book marked it for later, it's pretty cool but dam hard :) 

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I should be hibernating

Thanks for all your kind messages over the last couple of days, it meant a lot.

I'm aware that I'm not really blogging "properly" at the moment, there's been a lot going on but I haven't really felt like talking about it. Put it down to mid-winter malaise. I haven't really felt like doing anything, except maybe crawling into bed and re-emerging when the sun decides to stop hugging the horizon and venture further skywards once more.

Hope you're enjoying the advent calendar, it's keeping the blog ticking over if nothing else! By the way, it is supposed to be a bit naff and cheesy. That's what Christmas is all about!

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Rockin' around the Christmas Tree,
have a happy holiday.
Ev'ryone dancing merrily,
in the new old fashioned way.
Blogger Becky  Ooh, just noticed you need to allow pop-ups on the sodaplay website to allow that link to work.

Today's is all my own work. Took me ages to design that dancin' tree! :-) 

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Monday, December 12, 2005


Silent night,
Holy night.
All is calm,
All is bright.
Blogger Lana  Thats awesome!!!!!!! 
Blogger Paula Jay  Brilliant light display. It is a home in Mason Ohio and the music is Wizard in Winter by the Trans Siberian orchestra. 
Blogger Paula Jay  Sorry - Link here:-

http://www.snopes.com/photos/arts/xmaslights.asp

paula 
Blogger Zoe Bergstroem  That's not fair :-( Google Video is in germany not available...

Thanks for your interest in Google Video.

Currently, the playback feature of Google Video isn't available in your country.
 
Blogger Becky  I'm sorry Zoe! :-( Try hunting about the web for "christmas lights video", it's on a few sites! 
Blogger Zoe Bergstroem  weird but very cool. A few streets from here is a garden like this, but more colourful not only white lights....

i think i have to shoot a photo 

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Sunday, December 11, 2005

My Nan died last night, in her sleep. The second-from-last thing she said to me was "don't let the dog get out!", which was a very Nan thing to say, but slightly incongrous because the door I was opening was the one to her side-room in the hospital, and the dog wasn't there.

She was dosed up with morphiene, prone to long periods of random, but strangley Nan-like rambling. About pets, and family, and visiting markets, and the best place to put ornaments; but all mixed up and disjointed. This was interjected with sudden periods of total lucidity when she'd suddenly seem back in the here-and-now.

The last thing she said to me was a bright and cheerful "bye Simon!" as I went out of the door.

And I replied "bye Nan!" as brightly as I could muster.

Bye Nan. xxx
Blogger Rachel  How appropriate. 
Blogger hannaviolane  simon/becky i read your nan blog the other day & was touched by your feelings, and the things you wrote made me think of my own grandparents in the same light ( mine passed on in 1993 and 94 respectively)

all i wanted to say was im sorry to hear of your loss and i am thinking of you!

take care ....love Han x 
Blogger Joanna  I'm always bad at coming up with the right words at times like this. I'm really sorry to hear of your loss honey. My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care. 
Blogger Emilygrae  I'm with Joanna about not knowing what to say. I'm sorry for your loss, and my thoughts are with you. It was good you were able to say goodbye like that though, at the very least. 
Blogger Michelle Faith  I lost two of my grandparents in the same fashion. All I can say and wish is for you to remember the good times you had with her. Take care 
Anonymous Gillian  Really sorry to read this Becky/Simon, wish I could hug it better.

Damn glad you got to say goodbye

xx 
Anonymous Tiffany  I wish that I had some kind of experience with this so that I could offer some words of wisdom. I've lost someone recently, but...not like that. I'm glad that you got to day goodbye. I've heard so many things about when people don't get to, and at least you'll have that. *sends a virtual hug* You have my condolences. 
Blogger Becky  Thanks everyone. xxx 
Blogger Lorianne  I'm sorry about your loss. Your description of your Nan's moments of lucidity rings true to my own Gram's passing years ago: sometimes when you think they *aren't* there, they come back to say something right on target.

It sounds like your Nan found a way to say goodbye. 
Anonymous Mia  I'm sorry Becky. That's about all I can say really. I haven't lost anyone yet. I'm pretty young so it makes sense. At least you got a proper goodbye. That and she seems like she knew it was coming and was at peace with it.

Condolances honey. 
Blogger Lana  Sorry to hear of your loss, please accept my condolences, she's at peace now Hon no more suffering. You got a chance to say goodbye and thats something nice to hold onto.
Hugzzzzzz 
Blogger Paula Jay  (((((HUGS))))) 
Blogger Charlotte  Becky,

Hugs and condolences.

XXX 
Blogger Clair  *hugs*

Thinking of you... 
Blogger Kris  I'm sorry to hear it. :-( 
Blogger Freiya  sorry to hear about this, it's always horrible when you lose someone.
take care and i'll be thinking of you. 
Anonymous Emily S  I'm so sorry to hear about this, Becky. My heartfelt condolences.

Huge hugs. 
Blogger Julie Budd  Becky,I'm so sorry.All my sympathy and condolences to you and your family.

Hugs 

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In the meadow,
we can build a snowman.

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Saturday, December 10, 2005


And there won't be snow in Africa,
This Christmas time.
Anonymous Tiffany  Yay! For some reason, I was expecting this. I love the Kenya song. Now...Kenya get it out of your head? 
Blogger Emilygrae  yep that's what I was missing, little flash animals jumping around singing. Ah well, it's not the most irritating song I've heard lately. That one involves a frog. That party you went to with Jane looks cool. They sell those chocolate fountain things at sears, is it good? it looks it. 
Blogger Pandora Caitiff  "Holy crap! Lions!"

If you dig around Weebl's site you can find a live action version! 
Anonymous Chrissy Rogers  It's taken 10 minutes for me to stop laughing and dry my eyes...
Beautiful... truly beautiful! More please!
I've seen a similar one where cats are singing Destiny's Child in northern accents... 

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Free Hog!


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Free Chips!!


This is a cool party. :-)

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Friday, December 09, 2005

Ok...


I should just rename this Becky's Chocolate (b)Log and be done with it. :-)

Blogger Lana  Wheeeeeeeeeee death by chocolate. :P 

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Free Chocolate!


Blogger Jessica  damn you krapotkin!! 
Blogger steph_angel  EEEEK....who the hell's that guy with the cleaver??? 
Blogger Jane  Actually the guy with the cleaver is a sweetie he just looks fierce. 
Anonymous Mia  We have a bit like that for Sunday Brunch here at Uni! We love it! 
Blogger Becky  It's not a cleaver, Steph, it's a slightly blurry wooden skewer! :-) 

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Free Bar!!!


Oh yeah, and Jane's here too. :-)

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Free!


Blogger Siobhan Curran  Bitch :p

(Actually, that's the kind of Monopoly that I'd love to play: "Get pissed free!", "Go to bed, go directly to bed. Do not pass the wine-rack") 
Anonymous jane  Siobhan, if you are a really good girl you can play this sort of monopoly too! 

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En Bond


If you'd have told me a year ago i'd be stepping out of my front door looking like THIS!

Blogger Joanna  And the award for Most Overdressed Taxi Driver of 2005 goes to........ 
Blogger Karol Cross  Gosh they're really posh in Kings Lynn aren't they! 
Blogger Pandora Caitiff  I don't know who this imposter is, but we demand Becky back! :) 
Anonymous Vic  Life must be really hard in Kings Lynn. A taxi office with a bouncer. 

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Be near me Lord Jesus,
I ask thee to stay.
Close by me forever,
And love me I pray.

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Thursday, December 08, 2005

Evil Becky Answers Your Mail #6

A. Bonin writes:
Becky, are u a guy wearing girls clothing?
Evil Becky replies:
Dear Mr. Boner,

Becky is busy hunting the web for vaguely Christmassy things to put on her advent calendar, so she's asked me (her evil twin) to answer her email.

I'm afraid to cover my overheads I'm instigating a policy of "cash for questions", $100 will get you the answer to that question, with each subsequent question costing an additional $50. So as you can see, the more dumb probing questions you ask, the cheaper it gets. I've sent you our PayPal instructions via email. Look forward to hearing from you soon!

Flickr Mail writes:
Hi Becky EnVérité, you are meat_me_in_back's newest cont...
Evil Becky replies:
BLOCK!!

Labels:

Blogger Karol Cross  lol Thats exactly what I did when I got that notification too! 

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Good King Wenceslas looked out,
On the Feast of Stephen.
When the snow lay round about,
Deep and crisp and even.
Blogger Clarissa  Er, didn't you post that link yesterday? 
Blogger Becky  Er, no, you must be imagining things Clarissa. (Whistles innocently) 
Blogger Clarissa  Seems I must be. My mistake. :) 
Blogger steph_angel  Easy mistake to make I guess...Xmas song with silly lyrics - Snow plough in a parking lot. I get those two mixed up all the time :-p 
Blogger Becky  Yeah, that sounds more plausible than me forgetting to edit the URL when I copy-and-pasted the advent template. :) 
Blogger Emilygrae  so simple... so lovely... who would have thought that I would have been addicted to a game about snow removal? 
Anonymous Tiffany  That was addicting. I missed about half of my regular nap. It's okay. I had some coffee on hand. 

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Wednesday, December 07, 2005


'Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house...
Blogger Paula Jay  Loved It. 
Blogger Pandora Caitiff  Chuckle!

And more dial-up friendly than the last three :P 
Blogger Lana  LOLLLLLL love it, bookmarked the site so I can drive my email contacts spare :) 

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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Proof of just how sick I am

In case anyone doubts just how near Death's door I've been this week... take a look at this evidence!

Advent Calendar as Evidence of Illness

I took this picture 10 minutes ago of the advent calendar in my front room. Spot anything?

That's right, two whole days of unopened chocolately goodness!

Just a minute, I can hear the distant tyre squeals of an rapidly approaching car... probably nothing.

Has anyone else noticed the rather, um, chocolate-heavy nature of my recently blogging? Sorry about that. I promise to stop talking about... hang on there's someone at the door.

...

...

...

Sorry about that, it was just April after the two spare chocolates.
Anonymous April Angell  yes - but that wasnt my tyres squealing. anyway dont want nasty horrible chocolate anymore. it burnses. pah. bah humbug.

however....mmmmmm....cat tongues...mmmmm

(just had a bizzare and unrelated thought, totally not due to your "get high" tip in the previous entry, but if Laura Handbag doesn't like Christmas, should she rename herself Laura Humbag for December? God, I am freak on lemsip.) 
Blogger Charlotte  Becky,

You surely know that chocolate is a cure all for virtually everything!!

Well that is the excuse most of my female friends and relations give as they chomp their way through the 2lb box of Thorntons Continental 
Blogger Michelle Faith  sick people on strong meds make the best writers. Get well soon. 
Blogger Lana  Well I heard that chocolate is better than sex, dont eat the stuff so I cant give an opinion on that :) 
Blogger Emilygrae  Chocolates, in my eyes (or is that mouth?), aren't really chocolates at all unless they are dark. And if not dark, even darker than that. 

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Venn

Have I ever shared with you my Potter/Comedian/Transvestite Venn Diagram? No? Here it is:



I noticed a while ago that I knew two celebrity potters: Turner prizewinner Grayson Perry and stand-up slob Johnny Vegas, who trained in ceramics and became famous with an act that involved using a potter's wheel live on stage.

I also know of only two famous British transvestites: Eddie Izzard and the aforementioned Grayson Perry.

And two of those three people, Eddie and Johnny, are both stand-up comedians.

I'm sure that this Means Something.

I wonder if I could become famous as the first ever transvestite standup who makes pots!

Long shot, I know.

...

If this post seems a little delirious it might be because I've been home for 2 days and I'm currently very dosed up on Lemsip Max Strength, a substance which I suspect Hunter S. Thompson would have written about, had he experienced it. Perhaps I'll become a transvestite gonzo journalist whacked up on non-prescription drugs!

"Fear and Loathing in Lynn High Street", anyone?

Labels:

Blogger Joanna  Hmm.... its missing Harry Potter 
Blogger sim  Erm.. i think youve been beaten, Im sure Josiah Wedgwood did a stand up/drag act in the newley formed working mens clubs of the 1760's. 
Blogger Jane  Or you could be the Jack Kerouac of East Anglia - "On the A141" anyone? 
Blogger Gemma  OMG:
'We were somewhere around Birmingham when the Lemsip took hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe I need another pair of shoes". And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge M&S jumpers, baggy and beige, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car. And a voice was screaming "Holy Jesus! Call this clothing? It doesn't even co-ordinate with my lippy."

Gemma. A *big* HST/F&LiLV fan. 
Anonymous Mia  Have you seen Eddie's skit on Venn and his diagrams? 
Blogger Becky  LOL, I take it back Gemma. You should be the first transvestite gonzo journalist. That was spot on. :) 

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Now with added tagging goodness

I've been wanting to add tagging to my blog posts for a while now, but Blogger don't provide the facility "built-in" and I've not had the time or inclination to program anything myself.

So when I saw Wanabo, a service that offered to do it all for me, I decided to give it a whirl. Every individual blog entry page (the permalink page) has a tags section in the left column, powered by Wanabo.

There are several things I like about it. Firstly, unlike many blog implementations of tagging, it's dynamically editable by visitors. This gives it the feel of "Web 2.0", "folksonomy", "social software" and any other web buzzword you care to mention.

It also automatically adds tags based on search engine traffic. Not sure if I like this feature so much, it's already stuck some rather odd tags on some pages! But I can always turn this feature off later on if it's not useful.

The "related pages" and "tag cloud" features work quite well, although I would have liked to be able to change the style of those pages, and number of links shown.

Talking of styles, I had to hit the code snippet with a big CSS hammer to get it to fit into my template style. Heavy use of negative margin-left values, CSS fans! One tip I picked up from Jessica is to use MODIv2 to examine pages. It reveals the inner structures of code snippets, letting you see what style tags they've used, so that you edit them your own way. (Try MODIv2 on this page)

So far the good outweighs the bad with Wanabo, but it still feels a bit "beta". Hopefully they'll give it a few more features, a documented API interface would be nice. Give it a try on my blog, tag something up, and let me know what you think!
Blogger Jessica  But I dont see the point when the tags aren't accessible by anything spidering your site or on your feed :-/ You have to use wanabo to browse their tags. The site mentions "XML API access to your tag data" you could write a script to inject that into the atom doc that blogger uploads, like my feed script that parses the post types and "listening to" out of my feed 
Blogger Becky  That's stuff I'd like to see added. If people like technorati linked to them it would be ideal.

The "point" at the moment is it gives people a way to jump to posts with a similar theme within my blog, and to tag posts themselves. 

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Christmas Time, mistletoe and wine,
Children singing Christian rhyme.
Blogger Lana  Haahahhaaaaaa :) 
Anonymous Tiffany  ...that was hard! I don't think I can do it!!!! *cry* 
Blogger Jane  I rule at the Cliff Challenge, got to the end :-D 
Anonymous Alli' Cat'  Thanks for the link Becky (Friday). Forgive my tardiness - mad busy! 

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Monday, December 05, 2005


Oh, the rising of the sun,
And the running of the deer;
The playing of the merry organ,
Sweet singing in the choir.
Blogger Lana  I managed to dump the cushion, not good on sneaking back though :) 

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Sunday, December 04, 2005

Reality

Mostly this blog is pretty light-hearted and in broad-strokes, and there's not much actually about my day. I don't like giving you every day and night in detail, "describing every fart to the ounce" as a teacher friend of mine used to colourfully call it.

But sometimes it's important to write down stuff that happened, so I can go back and see what happened when, and use this blog as an actual diary. Mostly nowadays photographs act as that bookmark in time for me, but sometimes things happen when you can't, or won't, take pictures.

Take today.

My Nan (my father's mother) is very ill. She's got this thing, a tumour I think, that's stopping her from eating. I don't like to ask the nitty gritty because I don't really need to know. She's had cancer before, which went away, but now it's come back and this time, barring some medical miracle, she's not going to survive it. Last week she was given between two weeks and two years to live. At the moment it's looking like even two weeks was an optimistic estimate.

I work in the hospital where she's being cared for, and I've been to see her most days. Some days she's been up and chatty, other days lightly dozing. When she told me she'd been given not long to live, I cried, but it didn't really sink in what it meant. Nan's been ill forever. She's been in and out of hospital, always got better, or at least less ill. Some part of me said it wasn't real. She'd pull through.

Oh yeah, I need to tell you about my brother. The reason he's back from Mexico is basically some fuck-up with visas. In an ideal world he wouldn't have come back to the UK this year, he doesn't have the money to make a visit. For some legal reason Mexico wouldn't let him stay on his current visa, and wouldn't let him get a new visa or whatever while he was in the country. So he had to leave Mexico for a bit, and when he heard about Nan it kind of made sense to come here. It was a "lucky" coincidence that he had a reason to come back at the right time to say goodbye to Nan.

So it was arranged that when he got back to the UK this morning he'd go straight to visit Nan in hospital. Jane was over today and we went to the hospital a little earlier to meet them at Nan's bedside.

Nan was sleeping, and even the nurse couldn't get her to rouse. I sat waiting pensively, glad to have Jane there.

There was something very strange about seeing my parents walk around the corner, and then my brother looking tanned and tired. Suddenly my entire family were together again, in my workplace, for this. Everything was all the more unreal.

My Nan was told that Neil was there, and she made some noises, but she didn't really wake up. She opened her eyes but they were vacant and lifeless. I don't think she even saw Neil.

Then she was sleeping again. Snoring with the same "zzzz" then "plup" of flapping lips that I've seen her do countless times while dozing in front of the telly.

So, about 5 minutes after he'd arrived, I said hello to Neil. And we hugged. And I cried, and he cried.

And then it was real.
Blogger Rachel  I'm pleased (happy would be the wrong word) for you and your family that they could all be there at this time. Perhaps it shouldn't make a difference to the person concerned if they weren't able to get there to say their goodbyes, but matter it does.

Can't think of anything else to say except I'm sure you'll be in your "extended" family's thoughts. 

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What's the matter, got your cat's tongue?


Long story short, my Brother returned temporarily from Mexico today. He was bearing, among other things, this gift for me. An authentic Mexican chocolate treat.

At first glance I assumed it was a pet treat, but my Bro assures me it is Human Food.

If you're wondering why the cat is looking kinda pissed, the clue might be in the English translation of "Lenguas de Gato". Apparently it means "Cat's Tongues".

Yummy.

Blogger Joanna  but my Bro assures me it is Human Food.

Thats what he tells you....

so you eaten them yet, and has he told you the truth? 
Blogger Becky  Hmm... he did once tell me that broad beans were spiders eggs.... 
Blogger Clarissa  Is April finally going to get her chocolate then? 
Blogger Becky  LOL, I hadn't even considered that, Clarissa.

April, enjoy! :-) 
Blogger Jessica  Are they chocolate coated cat's tongues? I always found cat's tongues to be a bit chewy and bitter. My cat liked them though! 
Blogger Gemma  Well, the blurb says they're 100% chocolate. Unless cat's tongues are a standard component of chocolate in Mexico? I'm guessing it's the shape. But what *I* want to know is: what sadist went and found this out? And why? Why on earth should this appeal to the Mexican consumer? It's baffling. And spookily like cat food packaging over here.

I just don't want to know about Jessica's cannibal cat ...

And - no advent today, Bex? Or does this count? :) The rod is beginning to leave bruises, huh? ;) 
Blogger steph_angel  They are SOOOOOOOOOOO pet treats...

How big are they? Are they tiny? Tiny bitsize chocolate? 
Blogger Jessica  In the mexican version of M&S they do much classier kitten tongues 
Blogger Becky  LOL, nice one Jess.

They're definitely not pet treats, Steph. The ingredients are in english on the back, and they're mostly sugar, milk and cocoa butter...

Cats can't taste sugar, they don't like sweet things. Ergo.. human food. :)

Check out www.chocolate.com.mx if you don't believe me, they're on there! 
Blogger Becky  "And - no advent today, Bex?"

Think you're mistaken hon. I posted the advent entry for day four earlier today! :)

Check out the previous links >>> 
Anonymous April Angell  dont want none of your stinking cat chocolate. I want REAL chocolate. 

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Don we now our gay apparel,
Fa la la la, la la la la, la la la.
Blogger Lana  sounds good to me ;) 
Anonymous Fairly-Odd  Ermm... did you 'click it' Lana?? :-) 
Blogger Lana  lol no I didnt think to do that, oopssss sorry Jessica :) 
Blogger Jessica  Can I just point out that I'd had a few vodkas, and it's supposed to be a joke anyway! 
Blogger Rachel  Now why did you go and spoil it Jessica? 

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Saturday, December 03, 2005


Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow.
In the bleak mid-winter,
Long ago.
Blogger Pandora Caitiff  You're eager. Its barely Saturday! 
Anonymous April Angell  yeah and I've already brushed my teeth tonight, so I cant eat MY CHOCOLATE!!!!!! 
Blogger Emilygrae  oh my GOSH Becky! Sudoku frustrates me enough, but those damned snowflakes! Oh, and will somebody PLEASE give april some chocolate?! 
Blogger Zoe Bergstroem  25 minutes and i see failures.
I quit 

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Friday, December 02, 2005

My Dad, the hero

I heard the "JCB Song" for the first time on the radio yesterday, and it made me think about my Dad. He worked in the construction industry when I was young, and he used to drive stuff like graders and diggers and JCBs. Huge, yellow, roaring monsters that somehow Dad was able to subdue and bend to his will.

One exceptionally cold winter when I was little, my entire village became snowed in, the roads impassable. That morning my Dad wrapped up warm, and set off walking to work through the drifts. At the time he was a trainer at a construction college about 4 miles away. School was closed, so I made snowmen and played with the neighbourhood kids.

A few hours later there was a roar from up the road. A bulldozer was forcing it's way through the drifts, clearing the way to the main trunk road. At the wheel, grinning for ear to ear, was my Dad.

My Dad was a hero. Not because he let loads of people get out of the village to the shops or to work or whatever. I was six, I didn't care about any of that.

As far as I was concerned my Dad was a hero because he piled the snow up in a huge drift around the back of our house, and all the kids in our street took great pleasure in sledding down it. It was an excellent snow slide that seemed to last for weeks, and my Dad made it.

So when I heard that song, about a young boy's simple pleasure at being with his Dad, it brought memories like that flooding back. Back to the days when my Dad was a scary-but-safe giant. A giant who wrestled with monsters, smelt of engine oil, was never scared, could do no wrong, and knew everything. Listening to the song gave me goosebumps, and a little lump in my throat.

I bet you want to hear it too now, don't you? It's here. The video's exceptionally good too. Christmas Number One!!
Blogger Joanna  Ah, you'll want to visit here then. 
Blogger Jessica  My dad's an actuary :-/ He's come into his own now I'm older and need advice on mortgages and pensions and stuff! I didn't have a clue what he did when I was little, just that he was more likely to give me money and say yes to things than mum :) That song is great, and the video too, I'm going to buy it a couple of times on iTunes when it comes out because it deserves to be number 1!! 
Blogger Becky  As fun as Diggerland looks, Jo, I should point out that I'm not still into diggers and stuff. ;-) 
Blogger Jessica  Diggerland! That songs great! I want it on MP3 :) 
Anonymous Emily Söderberg  I remember the first time I saw the video... It really brought a tear to my eye remembering how much fun I had following my dad around as he did his work on these machines. He used to work for John Deere, so we'd trundle around various USAF bases on all sorts of exotic machinery!

The CD's definitely going to be in my father's Christmas stocking this year with a little letter about how great a dad he is. 
Anonymous April Angell  My Dad is an expert in the politics of a tiny South America country. He writes books in a language I don't understand about things I don't understand. He's a great Dad but absolutely completely useless when it comes to the "My Dad's a hero because..." category.

Pass. 
Blogger Tilda J  Becky,

Thank you for sharing the JCB song. It brought back memories, and a tear, for me too. I lost my Dad when I was very young and can really appreciate the lyrics of the song.

Thanks again, it feels good to bring back old memories.

Tilda 
Anonymous gillian  Dammit Becky you got me crying now. My dad could do anything, fix anything. Once I was bemoaning a siezed clutch on my Midget 'Well take out the engine and change it' he said in much the same way a lesser man would say 'well call the AA' Thats the world he lives in. 
Blogger Gemma  @April : "He's a great Dad but absolutely completely useless when it comes to the 'My Dad's a hero because...' "

(musing) There are a lot of changes going on down in that part of the world. Maybe some of the politico's around the world, or even in the country, read what he says. And maybe it changes how they do their politics in relation to the country. Which could pull 100,000's out of poverty, misery and early death into something approaching a more reasonable standard of life (doing sensible politics isn't a common feature of those countries).

Even if it only saved the lives of 10 people, sounds pretty much like a hero to me? Sometimes, we just see Clarke Kent. Just musing, hon. 

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Come and get yer feminization, fresh today!

I found this bizarre sponsored link on Google this morning. Looks like Tatt4Trannies has some competition! By the way, don't bother visiting the site. In case you hadn't already guessed, it's a crummy shopping portal that's got absolutely nothing to do with cross-dressing or "feminization" whatsoever.
Blogger Joanna  Fantastic. Put me down for 500g of feminization.... Do you do mail order? 
Blogger Zoe Bergstroem  I'll take a little bit more :-) 

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Gone away is the blue bird,
Here to stay is a new bird.
He sings a love song,
As we go along...
Blogger Emilygrae  I put that song, among others, on a cd for a woman at work. She said it was the best one on the cd. =) 
Anonymous April Angell  I'm still waiting for my chocolate. 
Blogger Clair  hehehehe 
Blogger Becky  April,

You need to upgrade your PC to get the chocolate. Your browser also needs to support the choccy:// protocol.

:-) 
Blogger steph_angel  LOL...V funny

I'm trying to guess whether you've been massively organised (just for a change), and planned the whole 24 days...or whether you're madly scrabbling for ideas the night before???

My guess is the former :-) 
Blogger Becky  Steph, it's a combination of the two. :-P 
Anonymous Alli' Cat'  That's a great song (could be my 'theme tune')! I've never heard the whole thing before. Who's it by? Details damit! I want details! 
Blogger Becky  It was originally featured on the Bob Rivers show on KZOK 102.5 FM. (I love American radio station names!)

They apparently do loads of these "Twisted Tunes", and you can buy CDs and stuff on their website. I think this might be one of the few tranny-related ones though!

Here's a link to the Bob Rivers web site. 

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Thursday, December 01, 2005

Who says trannies can't have curves?

Check out the curves on this:



It's really weird, up until the start of the month, I got about 5-10 search engine referrals a day for the word "transvestite". Then just tonight I noticed that yesterday I'd had seventy eight hits from that search term. That's when I went and found this graph. Now I'm no statistician, but that looks like one of them there "exponential curves".

Quick, buy shares in me!! :-)
Anonymous April Angell  Too late. I already own 51% of you. Weren't you at your AGM??? 
Anonymous Kath  That's interesting... What search engine were most of the hits from? MSN search? Their bots are freakin' maniacal, and I've noticed that they turn up results for some weird combinations of words and phrases. But, there's no mistaking 'transvestite' as a search term.

Maybe Trannies are the popular gift this year! :-) 
Anonymous Mia  That's awesome Becks. I just figured out how to access the statistics for my blog on my service. I was surprised at the number of views etc. Apparently I'm more popular than I thought. 
Blogger Becky  "What search engine were most of the hits from? MSN search?"

I get nearly all of my hits from Google. MSN doesn't seem to feature too highly! :) 

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Sneaking up on me, again

You know the film Monty Python's Holy Grail?

You know that bit where Lancelot is rushing to save what he thinks is a fair maiden from the castle? The two guards stand at the gate, and notice something in the distance. Cut to Lancelot galloping towards them (sans horse, natch) barely a speck on the horizon. Cut to guards, looking quizzical. Cut to Lancelot, galloping imperceptibly closer but still very far away. Cut to guards, trying to make out what it is in the distance. Cut to Lancelot, still miles away. Cut to guards... who immediately get run-through by the sword of a suddenly very present Lancelot.

Christmas is like that, for me.

In the middle of September the first Christmassy items start appearing in the shops. I think "God, it gets earlier every year. You're not catching me doing any shopping yet!"

Cut to Christmas, sparkling in the distance.

Late October the nights start getting darker, but there's Halloween and Guy Fawkes to get out of the way before I'll think about doing any shopping and stuff.

Cut to Christmas, imperceptibly closer.

Mid November, the adverts for smellies and tellies start in earnest. Apart for wondering who the fuck buys someone a TV for Christmas, they don't really sink in. It's still ages away.

And then Christmas IS HERE! When did that happen!?

Suddenly I have a hell of a lot to do, and very little time to do it. There's cards to buy, and write, and presents to buy, and arrangements to be arranged. Every weekend is filled with Christmas parties, every shop is crammed with shoppers, I've got no idea what presents to get anyone, I've lost my Christmas card list, and my entire bloody family has decided to have their birthdays in the same month.

It's got so bad that I occasionally have nightmares about it being Christmas Day and I've bought no-one a present. They're almost more common than my "Exam Day and I've Done Zero Revision" and "On Stage and No Idea What the Play is" nightmares.

Another thing I hate is people who ask you what you want for Christmas "because I've no idea what you might like". Forcing you to try and think of something that you actually need and isn't too pricey or too cheap (but you can't ask how much they want to spend, that would be rude), and basically do that person's hard work for them. And then when you ask them what they want they say "oh you know what I like, just get me anything."

So let me get this straight: you're basically abdicating responsibility for both the presents you buy and the presents bought for you? How bloody convenient for you! Do you realise that if everyone adopted that attitude no-one would buy anyone any presents? Then Christmas would be totally devoid of crass commercialism! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN!?!

Er... I do like Christmas though. Honest. :-)
Blogger sim  I suggest a brisk & timely conversion to buddhusm. In your new belief you can convince family they have been re-born many times before and should already be well endowed with countless birthday gifts. Moving swiftly into a three week meditation period, from which when you emerge metaphysically enriched, christmas will have tidily blown over . Dust now settled, you can claim to have repented , seen the light and converted back to christianity in time for new year, gin and parties. 
Anonymous Clair  Last night I had a dream that it was new years eve, my parents had arrived, I hadn't bought any food and still hadn't tidied my bedroom.


Trouble is, I can really see it happening that way! oops... 
Blogger Lana  Well easy one for me, no family (no change there) no partner, thats new, therefore no pressies to buy apart from my friend thats staying so Im spending it all on me, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 

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Oh the weather outside is frightful,
but the fire is so delightful.
And since we've no place to go,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
Blogger steph_angel  He he...having done something similar last year, not half as snazzy as yours I hasten to add...I can definitely confirm that a great big heavy rod is well and truly glued to your back.

Have fun :-) 
Blogger Jane  Yay Becky, that is so cool :-D 
Blogger Jo  Becky: Tranny Genius :-)

You should see the mess I have just made of trying to make a flake! More sleet turning to rain later than snow... 
Anonymous April Angell  where's my chocolate? 
Blogger Karol Cross  Hope theres a nice one for the 20th as its my bday! (hint hint) 
Blogger Freiya  ooh, that was fun! 
Blogger Joanna  Nice :-)

Was sent this today too.. you can then upload your flake with a message and share with others. 

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