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Becky's T*blog

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Booking badminton

Me: I'd like to book a badminton court for next thursday please.
Woman at Sports Centre: Sorry, I can't take any bookings until 9:00 AM.
Me: But it is 9:00.
Woman: My wall clock says it's 8:57 and I have to go by that.
Me: But there are spaces right? You say on your site that you can't book slots earlier than 9:00 AM the week before?
Woman: Oh yes, there's slots.
Me: Okay, I'll phone back in 3 minutes.

Five minutes later.

Me: Hello, I'd like to book a badminton court please.
Woman: Sorry, they're all booked.
Me: Oh fiddlesticks! Some enterprising chaps have got in during the last few seconds and managed to book the whole 8 courts. Ho hum, I guess I'll just have to be quicker next time. Cheerio!

/me hops into time machine and goes back to three minutes earlier

Me: I'd like to book a badminton court please.
Woman at Sports Centre: Sorry, I can't take any bookings until 9:00 AM.
Me: That's okay, I'll hold.

...

I swear that all happened. Except the stuff with the time machine. Oh, and I didn't say "fiddlesticks".

Tiffany  ...that's like when boy band concert tickets go on sale or something.

Only....badminton.

That's....just wrong, in my opinion. 

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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Explaining my actions

I wasn't going to blog about this, but I decided I should explain why I outed Lana as a fraud on my Flickr stream. In some ways I feel guilty for doing it, but I can't deny a huge sense of satisfaction at the same time.

I might have outed her less publicly if she hadn't once written in her blog:
"[I hate] people who look at your online photos and ask 'Is that really you?'----well hello, why would anyone bother promoting someone else's photos and not their own.Asking this question only shows how insecure or jealous the Enquirer is anyway."
That comment was probably aimed at me. I'd contacted her via messenger just before, and asked some pointed questions along the lines of "how do you manage to look so good, when you say you're not a model?"

The blog has gone now, it disappeared last night along with her MSN space and Flickr stream. So if you're unsure what pictures I'm talking about, you're too late to find out!

There was something far too-good-to-be true about Lana's pics. They were almost all expertly lit and photographed, wearing fab clothes with perfect makeup. Even the "grungy" ones had a knowing, staged quality. Every new picture posted to Flickr was greeted with a flood of comments from other trannies praising her beauty and style, which she was all too happy to accept. But I started getting more and more trannies in my neck of the online woods privately asking "is Lana for real?".

It was difficult to prove, because the person (or people) Lana chose as her "avatar" wasn't a well-known model. I scoured loads of sites showcasing fashion models (I freely admit that I got a bit obsessive about it) but nothing turned up. Then, weeks after I'd posted it, someone replied to an message I'd left on a fashion forum, asking if the pictures on Lana's stream were of a known model. They included a link to the profile of a model called Amanda Jo. Jackpot! Once I knew the name, it was quite easy to find other pics of the same model to confirm the profile's validity.

I realise that this sounds like crowing. I suppose it is. Let me try and explain why I got so obsessed by it.

The thing that galled me about what Lana was doing was the fact that she was, perhaps unwittingly, making a lot of trannies feel in some way inadequate.

It took me a great deal of time, money and effort to get to the point where I got pictures I'm pretty proud of. And then I'd look at some pictures of other t-girls and think "boy, if only I could look like that", knowing deep-down that I didn't have the figure/face/budget to ever pull it off. That's the luck of the draw. I envy the t-girls who do it better than me, but at the same time respect them, because I know that it doesn't happen by accident. You might have a feminine face or figure, but you'll still look like a guy if you don't work hard to emphasize it.

I also respect the t-girls who'd are even less blessed in the face and figure department than me, if they've obviously made the effort. Other trannies will say the same thing, I think: no matter how you look, if you've made the effort you're welcome in the club.

Actually, that's probably the ultimate answer to the dumb question I'm sometimes asked: "how do I become a transvestite?"... Make the effort.

When someone decides to skip all the hard work, find some pictures of a person (or persons) they'd like to look like, and publishes them as their own; that's wrong. It's mocking me, and it's mocking every other t-girl who dared to put a real picture of themselves en-femme online and say "this is me".

Jessica  I know what you mean, it's a shame that someone is so sad and lonely that they have to do that, and I think she just got carried away with it. But it's also really annoying when some of us are making all the effort and they're just taking the p!ss! 
Becky EnVérité  I agree Jess, it is very sad. I really hope that Lana, after a bit of reflection, comes back to the online tranny "scene". If she's a tranny and she's lonely and insecure about her image, she needs help. 
Jessica  lana, if you're reading this, just tell us the truth, apologise and we will forgive you and then you can setup a new blog! :) 
Connie Cox  Well blimey I never saw that coming. When I see girls like Karol Cross, Kath, Alex and a whole host of others I do feel, well a bit crap.
But I have come to realise that I have to work within what I have and I put a lot of time and effort into trying to make myself better.

Stealing someones photos is bad enough, but constructing a whole blog and flickr account around them is the sign of someone who is a couple of gunmen short of a posse. Actually that should be a couple of trannys short of a venue. 
Gillian  Yay well done Becky, go after that Cross bint next, theres a fakeroo if ever I saw one.

Lana if you want to come play with the big girls do it, I bet you any money you aren't the worst we've seen and you'd be forgiven for the fakery, we're like that. 
steph_angel  Bloody 'ell... Bit of a shock. I'm actually not that annoyed, I just think it's really sad.

For me, one of the best things, of late, has been this online community... It's a great way to share & to get support, because the life of a tranny can be pretty lonely at times, and Lana appears to have ditched all of that... Real shame... 
Zoe Bergstroem  Hi Becky, i've got a question.

Did you asked Lana first or did you asked in the Fashion forum first. I think this is a great difference. Anyhow you were right, so it was a good work. 
Becky EnVérité  I asked Lana quite pointed questions about her pictures, without saying "have you stolen them?" directly, which would have been rude, I asked things like "how do you manage to take such great pics?".

She was quite defensive about it, as you can see from the passage above taken from her blog, and I decided that I wasn't going to get anywhere with direct questions.

Also, in the back of my mind there was always the possibility that she was for real, and just incredibly lucky with her looks and her photographs.

I considered that she'd had more than enough opportunity to come clean herself, to me or to others, if she'd have wanted too. 
Joanna  It's a shame, I feel sorry that she felt she needed to lie about herself to somehow be a part of us. I really dont know now which parts of what she told us were real and which were fantasy.

Like you Becky, I hope she takes stock of this, bites the bullet and comes back, but as the real Lana without any of this deception... 
Cathii Scott  I am quite disppoined by all this. Not at the fact that she has lied, but because I was taken in by it.

Would the real Lana pleae stand up. 
Claudia  Hmmmm, Lana always came across as a nice person who seemed to make a useful contribution to most discussions. She still is that person, it's a pity she felt she had to hide behind someone else's pictures.

It's hard to criticise her for that actual act of hiding behind a fake image. In a way it's what we all do as trannies - only showing the pictures where our wigs happen to fall in a way to hide our worst features, where our outfit looks just perfect and where the light really flatters.

However, in Lana's case that image is someone else. Another real, living person. It's completely unfair to steal that person's identity. Online blogs and websites can impact the real world, and don't exist in isolation (as Becky has proven). How will that woman feel when she finds out that some people believe she's transgendered? That she lives another life?

Lana's photos were all suspiciously good (it's easy to say that after the event, but Becky is right, there's a quality to professional photos that is very recognisable), but her contributions were constructive enough for me not to worry how she chose to present herself. Not that much anyway.

I hope she returns. But maybe just skip the photos, and just do the blog this time. 
Daisy  I never came across Lana and I'm sure the "real" Lana was a nice girl, but I would guess that she'll be a bit like Keyser Soze and you'll never hear from her again. She most likely just choose a new name and start again, hopefully this time with her own face. She should as if a face (and don't even get me started on the body) get positive comments then anyone can. Just a thought but does Amanda Jo know her face was hijacked? 
Stephanie Rowe  hell fire that shocked me. I've only just started chatting to Lana last week. She seemed to be a honest person to me. I can't see the pics, but there's still the fact that she's stole someone else's hard work and passing it off as they're own. That's really, really bad.
if you're reading this Lana, if you look as ugly as a toad, well I don't reccon you'd look that bad, load up some of *your own* pics on flicr, and I'm sure the others will help you in the right direction. So come out and play! 
Michelle Faith  Wow. In hindsight you can see it clearly.
I vote for becky to be tranny cop of the year.
There were quite a few blogs talking about photoshop being used on peoples pics, but that takes the cake entirely.
well done.
I hope the real Lana does stand up. 
hannaviolane  bravo to you becky yet again the flag waver/spokesperson for what we all are or like to be/do! actually i must be somewhat unusal in that ive looked at 'lana's' photos and have to say wasnt that impressed! in my humble opinion i can think of many "real" trannies who look and are way more convincing and lovelier than the person dipicted on lana's flickr! 
granty  An extra Scooby snack for you becky, well done! I note that her friend petruccio's blog has disappeared too. I never twigged it, i took her to be genuine. I chatted to her on msn a few times and she seemed to be genuine and friendly, knowledgeable on tg issues. I can't quite understand why she'd need to do that, given how laid back and together(generally!) she seemed about tg stuff - she had something worthwhile to contribute. Using someone else's photos (wonder if Amanda Jo's amused!)was dumb and a bit pointless. So she should drop the facade and get on with it like the rest of us! Come back out, be strong and show her real character! She'll get more respect that way. Might be the first step to self acceptance... 
Emilygrae  Um, let me get this straight. You've just publicly outed somebody for putting out a false image. Um. Okay. Now, I understand how you feel, but at the same time, what would we feel like if we were in public and somebody pointed at us and started yelling, "Oh LOOK! They aren't truly who they claim to be!"
I mean, gods. Smeg and gods. I realize we are all on flickr and all that, but what if Lana's only real way of expressing herself was online? What if she couldn't dress and take photos? Or she was WAY too shy, and those photos was her only way to express herself? I'm not saying that presenting somebody elses pictures as yourself is okay, but smeg. Just smeg. Maybe she was making as much of an effort as she emotionally could. So, yes, horray for us all, for having the ability (physical and emotional) to be able to post photos of our actual selves. I really don't see us as the victims of her using somebody elses photos though. Amanda Jo is the only one that has the right to be upset. If it had been me, I would have given Lana a link PRIVATELY to the Amanda girls site, and asked her what's up. Embarassing the smeg out of somebody isn't going to get them to admit anything ever. It's just going to make them feel worse about themselves. And for what? 
Kat  Afraid I can't agree Emily.

Speaking to Lana repeatedly on MSN Messenger (until I blocked her) I got fed up of the fables, fibs and obvious fabrications (timezones are great). Becky, I and others had given Lana plenty of opportunities to come clean and spill the beans. Some of the pics she was posting were so not from NZ or of the same person. Added to which her 'life' story in Christchurch just didn't hold water.

Concocting these fabulous 'lives' is great, for a while. But it doesn't help that person move on, resolve the issues which cause the fabrications and become the person they could be. Living in La La Fantasy Land is unhealthy. Maybe by being outed the person behind Lana may smell the coffeee and address the things inside their head.

As for outing her publicly, a related beneift maybe that other imposters may think twice and also get off their behinds and start living life for real. 
Cathii Scott  Emily, I understand your sentiment however in my experience one lie leads to another. How many times have we all been lied to?

I don't know about you but I never "hide" the truth out in public and if some one starts screaming "He's a bloke!" It currently is not a truth I am prepared to hide from, and it is not a truth I will easily backdown from.

Take a look at the photos of me on Flickr, I am as ugly as snot when dressed (my ex girlfriend once said that as far as being a women is concerned I make a pretty good middle aged fat bloke), but there I am loud and proud.

If this is Lana's only outlet, then start the conversation like that. Honesty buys you more brownie points in the trannie queendom than beauty.

I echo the sentiments of others. Come back Lana, but come back as yourself. Be the person you are not the person we all want to be. 
Jane  Sorry Emily I also have to disagree. By using images of real women, claiming that they were her, that she hadn't had plastic surgery or was using hormones she was presenting an image that is unobtainable to us mere mortals (I include most real gurlie gurls like me here) and that matters. The veneration of very tall skeletale models and actresses as the pinicle of female beauty has caused huge damage to many women's self esteem Lana was at risk at doing the same thing. 
Anonymous  Sorry Becky, at the risk of using to much bandwidth once again I feel I need to make one last entry and reply to this. Firstly Im very sorry and want to apologise to all of you. I know what I did was wrong and unacceptable.
To start with, apart from the photos (which apart from the ones Becky mentioned are in fact my cousin, who I need to make amends to before I go,and who I do/did look very much like.) All the other info Ive ever said about myself is true--I am a 32 year old transvestite Australian/Italian living in NZ, my real name IS Lana/Lanfranco Gianstefani, and I do own 1/2 an Italian restaurant, which financially is crippling me since my partner left with half the assets. Im not lonely, I do have friends which I probably dont deserve, however the TG community here's not largely supportive and I envy the closeness you all have. I have no supports from within my family so I guess Im alone in that respect.
I never meant to hurt anyone, in fact I think you're a really great group and it made me feel good to be part of that.
I would never intentionally mock any of you, or try and make you feel inferior,in fact you girls all look great,and in fact I actually feel inferior to all of you in a lot of ways.
I say this in all sincerity and I realise that you will probably now disbelieve anything Ive written here today, and I dont blame you.
Connie, youre right, I probably am a gunman short of a posse, probably several.
Ive never talked publically about some parts of my life as I was to embarrassed, but as this is the last contact anyone will have from me I have nothing to lose.
Yes Im tall, slim and was once attractive and yes Im very feminine looking. However Im mentally and at times physically screwed now and I know this.
18 months ago after the 2nd refusal to be accepted to transition for SRS due to a serious drug addiction, I severley mutilated myself in a drug-induced psychotic state in an attempt to change myself. This resulted in 3 months in a general hospital after nearly bleeding to death and having major reconstructive surgery, which was only partially successful and now I'll never father kids, my sexlife sucks and I have continual urine infections. I then spent 6 months under comittal in a mental hospital, tried twice in there to kill myself the second time by cutting my face and neck from which I now have permanent scarring and hate the look of.
Becky Im sorry I wasnt honest with you back then, all this could have been avoided but I went to far and it was harder to own up. I never meant to hurt anyone, and havent done so, only myself now once again, which I dont think I can forgive myself for.
Claudia, I am actually a nice person I think, and all Ive ever done was try and be supportive to others, and yes at the same time I was being dishonest I realise this.
Ive put this on your blog only Becky, because I know this is one of the most read ones.
To Siobhan, who I admire and gained a lot of strength from, Im truly sorry for the deception. In fact to everybody I cant say how sorry I am.
I wont be popping up as ""someone else"" in another blog, I feel theres nothing left for me-- online, family, or otherwise and now I do feel really alone, so before I exit this life I just want to wish you all the best in whatever you do.
Maybe my next life will be less of a trial for me.
Peace and love
~~Lana 
Jessica  Lana, there is no need to start talking about the end of you life, put your blog and flickr stream back up, delete the pictures that aren't you and carry on. We've all done stupid things like that before, just be yourself and there are plenty of people here willing to accept you, you really don't need an act! Plus you were the only regular poster on my blog! not much point in me writing anything if you go! 
granty  lana, you've been through a hell of a lot, more than many of us can imagine, and that took a lot of guts to admit to. I forgive you, put your stuff back up and stay in touch with everyone, you've got a lot to contribute to the community and we're here to help each other. 
Emilygrae  My point wasn't that she should have been encouraged to fake her photos. My point was that public humiliation wasn't the way to do this. Lana, I'm with Jessica on this, put your blog back up. Be yourself and to hell with anybody that doesn't like it. =) 
Pet  I think is disgrece this was handle like here, I have tell Lana for age not do this and now we fight over it also. A warn would have be kinder, Granty my blog was delete 3 days ago for nobdy ever read, I have also one in Italian which I keep but is no use I leve link here unless you read also Italian. I have much troble to keep 2 and Lana was type recepe on cook one.
Katya which photos was not NZ? You know well of NZ yes? They were all of NZ I know this. What Lana have say abot chischurch is true, if you dont live there then you dont know enogh to say this I think.
I have read all blogs for age now but I never repley but this time I must. 
Karol Cross  I believe that the problem with using someone elses photos is that its really unhealthy. Like living in the closet, its going to diminish your personal dignity and self esteem. You're living in fear and shame and its only going to make you miserable and excarbate whatever feelings led you to take this step in the first place.

Showing our real selves, and saying to the world "this is me" has the exact opposite effect. It can help to make you feel proud of yourself (warts and all). As many have already said, it doesnt matter how "good" you look. What matters is that you're doing the best you can. And Beckys right, we all respect that.

I never doubted Lanas piccies, looking back I think I really wanted to believe that someone could look that good. And yes, I'd often feel a little sad and wistful knowing I could never look that good myself. And as I got to know the person behind the pix, I felt I'd made a new friend.

Lana, it takes a lot of strength to stand up and answer your critics. If you've found comfort and friendship in this community then don't throw it away. Take stock and rebuild. Your secret is no longer weighing you down, you're free at last. The worst is over with now, and as many have said, you are still welcome here. Just be yourself, and allow people to like you for that. 
granty  pet, when it came out the photos were false, i began (not unreasonably i think)to doubt whether any of lanas story she had told me was true. as i said i couldn't understand it as she seemed so genuine and friendly, and I think she still is. she has faced the critics and been very open about herself, when she could have ran away from it. she's more than welcome to chat any time if she still feels she wants to. 
Bella  Lana Dear.

I know what you are going through. I too have had a very hard time coming to terms with it all and have nearly destroyed myself on so many occassions. I have had to use various means including drugs and violence to get to where I am and am still doing it to go to where I want to go. Not to mention several other unspeakable things.

But Lana, its not about the pics. The lana I know loves heavymetal and is a free-spirited italian. And Italians, I might add are the nicest people. In fact, I would say most of my friends are italians.

So Lana, come back, Else, we will hunt you down and drag you back screaming.

But if you ever need to talk, you can always e-mail me at NinaIsabella@hotmail.co.uk. I'm sure any of the others would also love to be your friend as well.

But if you don't wanna talk to any of us anymore, then I bid you Sempre Viva and hope you get what you want. I sincerely hope someday we can catch a Zucchero gig.....


Luv

Bella 
Bella  This post has been removed by the author. 
Bella  Dear Becky,

Maybe I'm wrong, but I felt that you should have notified Lana before coming out with blazing guns. It was indeed a bad call. I feel that you have had something off your chest when you did it. There are reasons why she (Lana) did it but you did not even ask her. Heck we all portray ourselves to be something were not. But its up to us to reach where we want to go.

The photos may not be Lana, but I am damn hell sure that it is what she is inside.

Maybe you feel good destroying a person's vision of themselves and maybe you're not. I don't know you at all save from what I gleaned from your blog. All I can say is that a 'true' woman would not have done what you did.

In many ways, you would be no different than a person who outs a post SRS transexual.

Sorry to be harsh.

Just bear in mind, just because of a few measly pics,and mind you, its the insides that count and not the appearance (or have you forgotten that?), you have broken a kind heart. All you had to do was e-mail her. But instead, you have done this. Lana is a nice person and I enjoyed reading her blog and all the comments she made with regard to the others.

Or did you envisage her face when you read your coomets by her.

Believe me dear, its the heart and thought that counts.

In a way, we have all fabricated our pics. So, you are saying wigs and make up are natural?

Maybe we all should come clean then.....

And Lana, perchance you are reading this....

Come back


Bella (Nina) 
Becky EnVérité  I really can't begin to sum up in words the ways I think the last comment is bollocks.

This is one of my fundamental beliefs: if someone decieves people in a public arena, they deserve to be outed in the same public arena.

What Lana did when she faked her pics, for whatever reason, is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from what a transsexual does when they attempt to pass full time, or from what a transvestite attempts when they emulate femininity. And what I did bears NO COMPARISON to outing a trannsexual who's attempting to pass. It really fucking angers me that you made that accusation.

What I did brought something out into the open that NEEDED to be in the open. If I had a chance to do it again in the future, I'd do it in exactly the same way.

And if you don't think that's right, then we fundamentally disagree, and perhaps you're better off not reading my blog.

Look at it this way: either identities matter or they don't matter.

If identities don't matter then everyone should be able to post whatever pics they like online. It also doesn't matter if I post a picture to flickr of a model who happened to have exactly the same pictures online as someone else. Because online identities don't matter.

If idetities matter (which I what I believe), then what Lana did was wrong. For all the ways I've stated before. Obviously identities do matter, because otherwise there wouldn't have been this huge explosion of opinion from everyone when I did what I did.

It doesn't make Lana a "bad person", I hope to high heaven that she sorts her shit out and gets back online and in contact with her online friends. It's difficult to like someone you know is lying, but if she's telling the truth now (and I think I have the right to reserve judgement on that too) then I really want to be a friend and help her out. 
Bella  Jeez Becky didn't mean to rile you up!!!

Did it ever occur to you that Lana is a TS?

SHE WAS NEVER A TV FOR CHRISTSAKE!!

TV and TS's think differently or didn't you know that. I am really tired of t-girls taking it upon themselves to lay standards down. I didnt care what Lana was or was not. You did. You took it upon yourself to bring her down. You yourself said that you had huge satisfaction for outing her. And at the very first paragraph as well. All you had to do was to talk to her first.

Besides, an 'identity' is the sum of one's being not merely determined by pics. Its a shame that you equate both. Maybe you need loads of pics to show yours. Maybe not.

A transexual Becky dear relies on the identity inside which eventually manifests itself outwards. A TV on the other hand starts itelf on the outside and works its way inwards.

I know how Lana feels because I AM A TS. You'r not. If you were, you wouldn't have done what you did. You wanted to believe that the pictures were not Lana and went about to prove it. I knew the pictures weren't of her because of simple visual clues. Clues mind you would have been picked up by any TS who were astute enough.

But you're right. I should not be reading your blog anymore. I doubt what you did, but I'm sure you had your reasons for it.

You know, I blogged ablot wishing to be a TV as it would have been easier for me. But I ma glad now I am not.

Bella 
Gemma  Well, given all this water under the bridge, how can the tranny community now gather round and help Lana? Given her description of who she is and where she is, is there anyone who can figure out where in the world she is and physically get in contact with her? Because that to me looks like a goodbye note if ever there was one, and we don't have much time left, if any. 
Becky EnVérité  "Jeez Becky didn't mean to rile you up!!!"

I wasn't riled up.

This is what I would have said if I was riled up:

"Get the fuck off my blog."

But like I said, I'm not riled up. 
Karol Cross  "we all portray ourselves to be something were not."

A few comments have been made along these lines, and I let the earlier ones pass. But I'm sorry as it keeps cropping up, I have to say that this is absolute bollocks.

I'm a trannie. Thats who I am and thats who I'm portraying. I'm portraying me.

And Bella, I really don't think getting into the rather fractious TV vs TS debate at this stage is helping anyone. I must say though that I think you're on seriously shaky ground using the TS card to justify deception and theft.

Lana's got issues, thats very evident. If she didnt then this situation wouldnt have arisen. But continuing the lie isnt helping anyone, least of all her. Now its out in the open, and theres been a lot of support expressed above so hopefully she can move on.

I'm shocked by the suggestion that Becky is some how at fault for bringing this out into the open (shoot the messenger anyone?). If anything, I think she deserves our thanks. 
Jane  Bella

Lana lied about the photos she said they were of her. Her being TS doesn't make that not a lie.

Becky was entitled publically out her because she was lying in a public forum.

All I can say is that a 'true' woman would not have done what you did.

I am a 'true' woman - I have overies and everything. I would have done the same because I've seen the effects of anorexia on young girls and women who are trying to live up to an impossible ideal of female beauty and by using pictures of real women Lana was unfortunately setting up an impossible ideal. 
Gemma  Enjoyable as all this is, can anyone come up with an idea as to how to reach out to Lana? It seems to me that everything else is trivial for now. I know the TG community can move mountains when it needs to, can we harness that energy and connectedness somehow? 
Gemma  (p.s. in case anyone hasn't realised: Lana's left us all a suicide note). 
Emilygrae  What gets me though is that you said that asking her directly, privately, if she stole the pics would be rude. Would it have been rude to send her the link to the site that showed the model, and told her to fess up or you would, and given her 24 hours? What makes a confrontational communication with her rude, but exploding this all over your blog not? Again I really want to stress that I don't think what she did was okay. Even if you have the right to out her publicly, this just really could have been handled differently. Not so explosive and destructive. All of this is just so heartbreaking from so many points of view. 
Jessica  Gemma, if you really want to get in touch with her you could try the address or phone number on her restaurant website, http://www.freewebs.com/cafeitalia/ but I have a sneaking suspicion you won't get anywhere with that. 
Becky EnVérité  According to her blog, Cathii has been talking to Lana and she will return soon.

Comments on this item are now closed. 

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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The nominations have closed...

... and now it's time to vote for your favorite tranny movies of all time!

Voting is open to everyone, and you can vote for up to 10 films from the listed nominations. If it was nominated on the official form, and it was film that appears on the IMDB database, then I listed it on the long-list. So no complaining that your favorite film isn't there, or that the films that are there are rubbish! ;-)

Please click here to vote, and get your friends to vote too, so that the result is as definitive as possible. Thanks!

Nick  I've thought and thought again...but came up with nothing. Can someone please explain how 'Aliens' has anything to do with crossdressing? 
Dana  It's a shame I can't give Transamerica a vote because it doesn't open here in Chicago until later in the week. :(

And I second the question...Aliens? 
Joanna  I thought that too... maybe its because there's an Alien Queen.. and erm... Priscilla has Queens... so erm... maybe? 
Lauren Teo  Well, Ripley is kinda butch.... 
Siobhan Curran  I guess it would be something along the lines of "...trapped inside a man's body" wouldn't it? That man being John Hurt. 
Jane  Never mind Aliens - Con Air? 
Charlotte  Surely the worst film is easy....any Carry-On film that entails an ugly bloke dressing up hence instantly becoming attractive to the male cast....a lasting image I have is of Charles Hawtrey as a nautch girl in Carry on up the Khyber......eep!

Those Devils in Skirts...! 
Selina  Erm - I didn't nominate it, honest!

But Aliens is an anagram of..... 
Becky EnVérité  Lisa Ne! So it was her!

Oh wait, I don't know anyone called Lisa Ne. :-/ 
MichaelTGO  oh *sigh* what was the name of that movie about an Army deserter who drags up and hides with his sister, and the Redcaps, in the 'orrible shape of that actor who died of drink (eventually) come looking, and take her(him) to a dance.. "dippy dippy dip".. well anyway too late to nominate it (see sigh above) 
Becky T  Ok, weird choice. 'Aliens' doesn't have anything to do with crossdressing per se, but I suggested it because I think Ripley is a fantastic non-stereotypical role model for women, and for tomboy trans-girls who tend not to go for pink and lacey things but still want to exude sexy-but-tough. 
Becky EnVérité  And therefore a perfectly acceptable nonimation Becky! :-) 
Nick  Ripley being a tomboy was the only the thing that even sort of sprang to mind (aside from the king alien being a queen...). It's a bit flimsy, but fair enough.

Jane - Con Air features a very irritating guy who happens to wear a dress ;)

On a side note, I can't believe no one mentioned the hilarious/brilliant Hammer Horror outing, Dr Jekyll and Sister Hyde! 
Kris  ...a terrifying film in which brilliant scientist, Dr Jekyll, discovers a secret formula which turns him into a nun. "You'll run! You'll scream! You'll sing, 'Kum-Bi-Yah'!", ran the poster. 
Zoe Bergstroem  What's the Trannyscene in Hackers? 
Becky EnVérité  I have no idea Zoe. :)

P.S. I genuinely love the german tendency to join english words to make new words. "Trannyscene" sounds great. :) 
Zoe Bergstroem  ääähm in my 6 years schoolenglish i've unfortunately never learned the real word for
"The Part in this film which shows transgendered tendencies" :-)
But i think you know what i mean.

A part in this film is a bet of two persons, (girl and guy) to show, who are the better hacker. If he wins, they have a date with her in a dress, if she wins they have a date with him in a dress, too...

But he wins, so he never wears a dress... ...? 
Paula Jay  MichaelTGO -------- That movie was called Triple Echo with Glenda Jackson and Oliver Reed :-

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070835/

Paula 
Pandora Caitiff  To add to Zoe's comments about Hackers. Yeah he never has to go through with it, but Angelina Jolie's character does have a very kinky dream sequence with Mr Lee-Miller in red PVC. 

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Apologies in advance

Oasis have announced a year-long tour playing every cut-price supermarket in the UK. When asked how they would complete such a gargantuan task, singer Liam said: "Lidl by Lidl".

©2006 Becky EnVérité

Joanna  Ouch....

Of course, one supermarket once tried to market Oasis soup. It was like normal soup, but you gotta roll with it. 
Becky EnVérité  A crusty roll. Like the joke. ;-) 
Siobhan Curran  *sigh* Becky, your level of humour, I wonder. Wall to wall puns - that's the basic level of things isn't it?

(Urgh. Crowbar) 
Stephanie Rowe  hehe I love the jokes. 

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Monday, January 16, 2006

It shouldn't happen to an announcer

I pity the Channel 4 announcer tonight who, at the end of Richard Dawkin's anti-religious diatribe "The Root of All Evil", was required to say:

"... and the religious debate continues on More4, where Historian Michael Burliegh argues that the modern world's rejection of faith has led to the collapse of the fabric of society. Next on Channel 4: Celebrity Big Brother."

Quite.

Siobhan Curran  Yes, the pathos was not lost here ;-) 
Joanna  heh... wonderful. 
Connie Cox  Made me chuckle 
Lana  lol well thats a prime example :) 
MichaelTGO  some of my leftie neighbours like George Galloway, you should see them squirm trying to find reasons he is in the BB house with all those self-advertising nonetities ROFL.. Answers on a Postcard to Bethnal Green MP House of Commons London SW1

Michael (from Transgender Outreach)
who used to be a leftie til the realisation they are all jerks 

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Great Ideas in the History of Hospital IT, Number 124: Energy Efficiency

Regular visitors to my blog with remember the debacle surrounding the customised screensaver my department were cajoled into writing to give everyone in my hospital guidance on hand hygiene. The fun doesn't stop there.

We have a person at the hospital who's responsibility it is to promote energy efficiency within the organisation, and spot where electricity is being wasted. I wasn't present for one of his recent decisions, but it must have gone something like this.

SCENE: A large but almost deserted office at lunchtime. There are a dozen or so computers around the room, and they are all switched on and displaying lurid screensavers. Enter ENERGY EFFICIENCY MAN, clutching a clipboard. He looks around the room and then goes over to MISS LONE WORKER.

ENERGY EFFICIENCY MAN: Is everyone at lunch?

MISS LONE WORKER: Yes, I'm working through my lunch hour. Can I help you?

EE MAN (PROUDLY): I'm Energy Efficiency Man! It's my job to promote energy efficiency within the hospital, and spot where electricity is being wasted. Whenever a light is left on in an empty room, I'll be there. Wherever a window is left open next to a fan heater, I'll be there. Whenever a member of staff has a question about energy efficiency... I'll be there!

MISS LW (EATING A SANDWICH): That's nice.

EE MAN: Tell me, citizen. Why are all of these computers showing pictures of germs and suchlike?

MISS LW: It's some kind of health promotion. About 3 minutes after everyone buggers off to lunch, the computers all start showing these posters about remembering to wash your hands. But no-one ever reads them because, well, they're at lunch.

EE MAN: So, all these machines sit here all lunchtime, not being used?

MISS LW: Yes.

SFX: A SMALL AND RATHER DIM ENERGY-EFFICIENT LIGHTBULB APPEARS OVER ENERGY EFFICIENCY MAN'S HEAD.

EE MAN: Energy Efficiency Man has an idea! Pass me that phone!

MISS LW HANDS EE MAN THE PHONE, AND HE PUNCHES IN SOME NUMBERS.

EE MAN (INTO PHONE): Hello, is that the Computer Department? It's Energy Efficiency Man here... Yes, really... No, they don't give me a special suit... Look, could I speak to someone who knows about screensavers and stuff?

EE MAN LOOKS UP AT MISS LW AND SILENTLY MOUTHS "THEY'RE GOING TO GET HIM". MISS LW IS MORE INTERESTED IN HER SANDWICH.

EE MAN (INTO PHONE): Hello? Yes. Energy Efficiency Man here. I have an idea. An amazing idea. An idea that could only be thought up by someone with a background in energy efficiency promotion such as myself. Be prepared to write this down, citizen... ready?

You know how all the computers in the hospital sit doing nothing during lunch-hours and just display a screen-saver about remembering to wash your hands?

Well... could you also make it say "don't forget to turn the lights out when you leave a room"?

Kris  It's a shame they didn't introduce a directive that makes you switch off your monitor before the screensaver kicks in. That would be joined-up government at its best. 
Michelle Faith  that plug should work here at the airport, he'd fit right in. We have a small army of them here 
gina roberts  Very Pythonesque Becky 
Charlotte  In another life I had the misfortune to get a secondary duty as that energy efficiency man, I got christened the "Prince of Darkness".

It was at the same time that H&S really started to bite, as Crown Immunity had been removed, and I do remember one H&S request that I had to comment on as it involved a bid for new lighting.

Hazard: Insufficient lighting in working area could lead to accidents.

Solution: Install new lighting system to eleviate problem

Location: Darkroom in the photographic section!! 

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Saturday, January 14, 2006

Thou shalt not flounce

That single-handed Vicars and Tarts party that is Selina's blog has a fascinating and provocative piece on transvestism and the Bible today. Go lookie! :-)

Becky EnVérité  LOL. :-D 
Selina  Sorry Becky, but you have fallen foul of a scurrilous mistranslation of Deuteronomy. The text should read "Thou shalt flounce".

Oh, and by the way, I'm not a vicar. Still, half-right is better than completely wrong. 
Becky EnVérité  Weird, somehow my response to Selina appeared before her comment! :-S 
Gemma  The Lord moves in mysterious ways ... 

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Friday, January 13, 2006

Birds

Oooh... I love Look Around You sooooo much!

The first series expertly parodied the "science for schools" television programs of the seventies. It was a heady mix of nostalgia and surreal comedy. I remember sitting semi-patiently in a darkened assembly hall as the blue-and-white spotted clock on the screen counted down to zero, and then marveling as the narrator explained the uses of sulfuric acid in hushed tones.

The latest Pizza Hut adverts are an unfunny version attempt to copy the style.

The second series was studio-based and parodied populist science magazine shows like "Tomorrow's World". The episodes were longer, but not quite as funny as the first series, in my opinion.

I've had the Series 1 DVD in my collection for a while, and series two is now out. The extras include this superb film, which returns in many ways to the style of Series 1...



Very grateful to Kim for finding this.

Thanks Kim.

Thkim.

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How not to email me

You remember that "how to be a tranny" email I got the other day which I selflessly, tirelessly, and with a great deal of humility (one of my many fine attributes) replied to? I sent a long reply because a) the person had written a nice letter and b) they flattered the hell out of me.

I wanted to give you an example of the other end of the spectrum. Got this email a few days ago, presented here in full, with only the address changed.
hi i would like how i can become a tranny please email me back at alazytimewaster@hotmail.com with all the info thanks.
"With all the info"?? I thought about getting Evil Becky to send a suitably pithy reply, but even she couldn't be arsed.

Siobhan Curran  > how i can become a tranny

*pfft* One doesn't become a tranny, one just is a tranny :-) 
Becky EnVérité  Tell that to the 80+ people who Googled to my site with variations of the phrase "how to become a transvestite" in the last week alone! :-) 
Jessica  sorry! i just wanted to know 
Fairly-Odd  Well, answer this one then...
How does one stop being a tranny? 
Becky EnVérité  Kath, I'd suggest writing a long goodbye speech, and then starting another blog.

Oh, unless you've tried that? ;-D 
SuziiJayne  Siobhan, how right you are!
And who would want to stp anyway. 
SuziiJayne  Siobhan, how right you are!
And who would want to stp anyway. 
Fairly-Odd  Good God, I walked right into that one...

Everyone needs a title - guess I'll take "Fickle". 
Stephanie Delacey  I can just imagine them questioning the reply - "so I need to wear women's clothes, then? Is that absolutely necessary?" 
Bella  I just had a thought!!!

We should have a word that describes women who wear men's clothes.........

Payback Tiiiiimmeeee!!!!

Luv

Nina 

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Thursday, January 12, 2006

More fun in today's paper

Reading further into the Independent I came across this article on Yindies; apparently a new class of half-yuppy half-indie types. It includes a silly quiz to ascertain whether you're a Yindie or not, with this question which caught my eye:
7. If you could only read one thing, it would be:

a) Heat.

b) A scurrilous blog by an anonymous cross-dressing lifestyle columnist.

c) Horse and Hound.
Now, do I count as a "lifestyle columnist"? If so, yay me! I'm a Yindie icon!

Or, do you actually have to write in a newspaper to be a columnist?

If so, does this blog exist? Is it one of the blogs I already read?? Come on, own up, which one of you is a lifestyle columnist in real life?!

Kris  It's me. I admit it. I have a large prosthetic nose and publish under the name A. A. Gill. 
Becky EnVérité  I knew it! 
Jessica  I did the quiz, I think I might be a Yindie :-/ 
Jane  Err Becky it can't be you - you're not anonymous, but you are still an icon... Well to me you are.

I did the quiz too I'm half Yindie and half unquantifable. 
Becky EnVérité  Yeah I'm definitely an icon. Possibly the Recycle Bin. 
Charlotte  According to wikipedia

An icon (from Greek εἰκών, eikon, "image") is used, particularly in modern popular culture, in the general sense of symbol — i.e. a name, face, picture or even a person readily recognized as having some well-known significance or embodying certain qualities.

Umm in that case you are definitely are an Icon.....just need to find the qualities you embody....answers on a post card to.....

Becky Enverite
Tranny Icon
Kings Lynn
:) 
Lana  I think most of us round here are TOBYs 
Becky EnVérité  Jugs with faces on? :-S 
Alli' Cat'  TOBY or not TOBY? That is the question. Sorry, couldn't resist. 
Lana  TOBY == To Old to Be a Yuppy/Yindie

Yindie reminds me of an Aboriginal rockband in Aussie called Yotha Yindie 

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Blame Dionysus

On a whim, I picked up a copy of The Independent this morning, and was rewarded with an interesting article on the history of cross-dressing in entertainment.

It feeds into the