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Saturday, September 30, 2006

The New Pornographers - Sing me Spanish Techno



I've been criminally bad at keeping up with my emails over the past couple of weeks (even worse than usual), so this little gem from Kath Adams nearly passed me by.

It's a music video featuring a great little tranny fantasy, and the music's quite good too. Thanks for the heads-up, Kath!

You realise that by blogging this by proxy, you're entitled nay required to come to Transpocolypse? ;-)
Fiona  That was rather good, like. 
Kath Adams  Glad you liked it. I might even be tempted to buy an album.

As a proxy blogger, I will have to see what I can do about getting to Liverpool in January. It's about time I became less anti-social! 

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Friday, September 29, 2006

Feels just like when I wasn't famous

Repartee 53 features:

Before They Were Famous by Gillian
First nights out by Vicky Lee, Leah True and Becky EnVérité
:-)

It's mainly my exploits as the only spitfire pilot to fight in the Battle of Britain in slingbacks, becoming the first tranny to visit China in 1972, and my pioneering work with Francis Crick to discover the structure of tranny DNA (it's vase-shaped). Basically nothing new if you're a true Becky fan, but might be interesting for completists. ;-)

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Thursday, September 28, 2006

Look how hard my pen is


One of the countless perks of working in healthcare... free pens from drugs companies!

I've had this one for ages, shows no signs of wearing out yet.

Labels:

Selina  I have Viagra software to make my floppy drive into a hard drive.

And Viagra eye-drops so that I can look hard. 
Tiffany  I get stuff like that all the time from my mother...one has like, a blue part that LOOKS like it should be really squishy, but it's totally not.


....yeah. 
Simon From Space  That pen is is mightier than a pork sword. 

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...


... my MiniCards from Moo came today!

I couldn't resist buying a full set on top of my freebie ones, and I'm glad I did, they're awesome!

These are Simon ones... now I need to buy some for Becky. :-)

Labels:

Tiffany  Ooh, those are so pretty! I wish I could've gotten cards of mine. Grrs. Someday. 
Anonymous  they are very very cute and lovely! mine arrived yesterday:) 

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Monday, September 25, 2006

Crap snaps

Sweeping statement: trannies should not be allowed to carry cameras on tranny nights out. Because they are shit at taking pictures.

Okay, so there are some notable exceptions, April being the one that most readily comes to mind, but in general there are more criminally bad tranny photographers than exceptionally good ones.

Case in point, there was a get-together at Pink Punters the weekend. I didn't go, mainly because I couldn't afford it, but it seems to have been the first big tranny event of the new season.

This has meant that I've gained an impression of the event purely from all the pictures of it on Flickr.

Evil Becky has tried to persuade me to reproduce some of the worst of those pictures, but I might get lynched so let's keep it no names, no pack-drill, okay? Lets just say there are some real horror shots in there. Badly framed, red-eyed, out of focus, uncropped and unflattering.

You'd think that trannies who spend ages trying to make themselves look great in their own pictures would have some sensitivity as to how other people look in their photos. The opposite seems to be the case.

I've come to a conclusion of why this is: it's a negative feedback loop.

Trannies get upset when someone takes a shit picture of them at an event, so they go out and take shit pictures of other people to get their own back. The shittier the better, it makes their own shots look good in comparison. The whole thing becomes a vicious downward spiral.

By the way, I'm going to be out at Trans-Mission in early October.

No photos! ;-)
Steph Angel  "Evil Becky has tried to persuade me to reproduce some of the worst of those pictures, but I might get lynched so let's keep it no names,"

Thank God for that :-P 
Siobhan Curran  We have seasons?! 
Connie Cox  I admit I put up a couple that weren't mega flattering but that did include one of me.
However I did take them down again as it I didn't want to upset anyone (which was never my intention) 
Joanna  Becky's *in* season? 
Isobel  "The Glorious 25th"
It doesn't have much of a ring to it, does it? 
Kat  Siobhan, a discussion on seasons here:

http://katsydney.blogspot.com/2006/05/off-season.html

I'll make sure Rebekah and I don't bring a camera to TX, promise. No, honestly. We won't. Hem, hem.... 
April Angell  Thank you.

(if anyone points a camera at me, I just go hide in the loos. Thats my excuse for being there and I'm sticking to it). 
NH  You could nominate a "designated photographer" for the evening: Everyone puts their cameras into a hat and you take one out at random. That person is then honour bound not to take crap, out of focus, off centre, red-eyed, in the middle of eating something, bum looks like Venezuela, embarrassing pissed shots for the whole evening. 
Clarissa  I just go hide in the loos

Having seen some the pictures that have resulted from the strategy, I think you'd best find a new hiding place. 
Clarissa  Oh, and Kat... there's a bit of SPAM™ on the bottom of that entry that you may wish to police. 
Miss K  Yes!

This was an important point well made. 
April Angell  For christ sakes - dont tell me there are photos of me on someones camera. Fuck no! 
Gillian  Harsh and unecessary, the point was to have a good night out in girls clothes, documenting it is secondary. 
Becky  Exactly Gillian, documenting it IS secondary, so why do we feel the need to take and display pictures whether they're any good or not?

I'm not suggesting that photos are the be-all-and-end-all, I'm just saying that if you ARE going to take them, then you owe it to your subjects to at least spend a couple of minutes with one of the basic free tools for removing red-eye, cropping and framing, etc. And if you can't get a good result after that, don't bother displaying the picture. There seems to be an unwritten rule that after a tranny night out you have to display pictures whatever the cost, I was just questioning that. 
Stephanie Delacey  It's not just going out, though, is it? I spent half the weekend dressed at home and almost automatically I reached for the camera. Why? After a moment's thought I didn't bother. I looked no different from the way I've looked all summer - I couldn't at that time think of anything to do other than the headshots I've been doing for the past month or so. What was the point of recording the fact that yes it's Friday night and I've got a skirt on? 
Karol Cross  I find photos useful to confirm whether or not my makeup, outfit (whatever) works or not.

Have to say I'm as guilty of putting up crap photos as the next person. Especially regarding Saturday as I only had 10 mins to upload them before heading south.

So yes I agree, there are a lot of crap trannie photos out there. But totally disagree with your last comment about it being a deliberate ploy to make others look bad.

Changing the subject totally. Can't believe you (& Jane I presume), Kat & Rebekah are off to the next TX as I'm at the Rubber Ball that night. :( 
Becky  "So yes I agree, there are a lot of crap trannie photos out there. But totally disagree with your last comment about it being a deliberate ploy to make others look bad."

I should really add more winks to what I write. ;-)

Okay that was just me being over-cynical. I think it's more of a case that there's a culture of posting lots of pics and being "first" with pictures. 
Karol Cross  And I should stop being so bloody literal! :o) 

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Suspend disbelief

Tranny and TV cartoon strip

Labels:

Pandora Caitiff  Ha. Yep, something we union-types are fighting against.

I've started wearing a T-shirt in the office. No-one's complained yet, as it seems to be the standard dress code for most of our female workers, and we're sooo hot on diversity. Not sure they're ready for me in a skirt yet though :) 
Siobhan Curran  /me applauses

If I hear one more "it's so hard being a guy - women have it easy" outburst, I'm going to scream 
jadis  love it. dead-on bex. 
NH  As I was scrolling down, I saw the punchline and mentally said "badum-ching"...then I scrolled down a bit more and saw Tranny's response. Frankly, I would have felt cheated if there wasn't a "badum-ching" there. How about some Comedy Trombone next time? 
VB-W  It's so hard being a guy - women have it easy.

OK. Scream. 
Joanna  I thought of this as I waited 20 mins at the Colosseum for my wife to work her way to the front of the queue for the toilets, while I was in and out in 2 mins. 

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Saturday, September 23, 2006

Replaced

There was a gap in the door, he never closed it properly. Through it I could see part of the bed, and the package that sat there. A slender unmarked padded envelope, with a bulge in the middle. We'd seen them before.

"Looks like we've got incoming," said Black Bob.

"What do you think it is this time?" I asked, straining to see the label.

"Could be anything, you know what He's like. Fickle."

"A new friend?" said Angelica. She was always after someone new to talk to. She used to talk to Blondie, but Blondie never talked to anyone anymore. Just sat in the dark at the back with her memories, and the dust.

I wasn't too sure. It was a different kind of parcel from the others. It made me nervous. I'd seen one like it before, a long time ago, but I couldn't quite remember where.

Then He came in. He grabbed the parcel and carefully tore it open. He pulled out the contents and held it up to light.

I gasped.

"It... it looks just like me."

"Another Noriko?" Black Bob said, disinterestedly.

"No, exactly like me," I said. "Same colour, same style, same everything!"

"Ah, damn. It's that time."

"What time? What's going on?" I asked. "Time for what?"

"It's not a new member, it's a replacement," Black Bob said, his tone even more dry than usual. "A replacement for you."

"But... but I'm his favourite."

"So was Blondie once, and Angelica. Hell, even I was favourite once. Favourites change."

"But..."

"Look at yourself, " Black Bob spat. "Not quite as shiny as we used to be, are we? Those monofilaments ain't exactly frizz-free anymore. Aren't you supposed to be 'Paprika'? I'd say it's more like 'Cumin' these days. Did you think it would last forever?"

"But I'm the one... the one that suits him best. His... favourite."

"There's a price to pay for being popular, kid."

"You mean?"

But Black Bob didn't have time to answer. I felt myself being lifted from my stand, in the best spot by the door. A brief glimpse of another me being put in my place. A few seconds of hurried movement and...

Falling... landing... looking up at a circle of light far above me... and then...

darkness.

Labels:

Joggerblogger  New do?

:-) 
Becky T  Same but different? That reminds me, I ought to go to Boots tomorrow; I'm looking less chocolatey and more mousey again. 
Joanna  So does this mean that now *you* have bought the same wig as me???

;) 

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Thursday, September 21, 2006

Calling all Flickr Pro users

Got a pro account with Flickr?

Go get your 10-pack of totally cool personalised Flickr MiniCards from Moo, NOW!

It's a totally free promotion, they even pay for international shipping. First 10,000 customers only though, and like I said only for paid-up Flickr members.

I've just ordered my set, and I can't deny that I'm more than a little excited by it all. They look just so cute, each one with a different picture on. I've dragged myself from my sickbed just to tell you about it.

Meh... back to sickbed.
Stephanie Delacey  Ordered mine last night. And now you've saved me the trouble of blogging about it :) 
Jane  Me too Stephanie, but curse you Bex I was gonna blog about it ;) 
April Angell  merci 
Connie Cox  Very cool.
ordered mine and going to get the missus some too 
sim  Pretty nifty.
Thankyou. 
Miss K  When we get our cards, we should all post pictures of ourselves dressed only in an outfit made from the ten small cards! 
Isobel  It looks like another Flickr group is on the cards... 
Becky  Nice pun Isobel. :-)

K: I'd need more than 10. And no, that's not some allusion to the size of my nob. :-) 
Magpie  Oooh...looking forward to getting those :) 
Gillian  eh? what are they for? 
Charlee  Wow! Thanks :) 

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Damn you Katie Melua!

You're so middle of the road there's practically a white line painted on you. Your easy-listening ballads are so soporific they'd put Terry Wogan into a coma, and they're not even scientifically accurate!

And now you go and release a video for your latest single "It's Only Pain". A video in which you wear the most fantastically tranny outfit ever! Huge flouncy skirt! Puffy sleevy things! Wristy stocking things! Long false nails! Wonderfully overdone makeup! White lace up boots for cripe's sake!!



And if that isn't bad enough, you put a ballerina in the same video, in another outfit any self-disrespecting tranny would give their eye teeth to get into!

All this of course makes makes me watch the video obsessively every time it comes on telly, and end up actually quite liking the song. Of course, you planned this all along!!!

Damn you Katie Melua!!!!!
Billy  Must be a bugger typing with them nails. 
Miss K  It's only pain 
Kath Adams  am I the only one that thinks, when she's in her 'trannie' dress-up, she looks like the woman from Will & Grace?

the rest of the time she's luverly 
NH  She's so boring, she bored that male ballet dancer to death. Well, Katie Melua has hired Michaela Marbella as a style consultant I see. 
Becky  Nooo... I must take issue here. That's nothing like a Michaela Marbella outfit, the sensibilities are entirely different! 
Sarah Louise Parry  Maybe she accidentally stabbed herself in the eye with one of those babies, hence where the new single's title came from? :) 
Mac  I would like to point out that it was her manager, Mr Mike Batt who thought up the video for her latest single, and since he had barely three weeks to do so; I'd say it turned out rather well.

And, to be quite honest, what does it really matter? It's not as if you watch the music video while listening to it on your mp3 or iPod, do you? 

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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Jane


Just thought I'd blog this, cos it's a nice pic. :-)

Labels: ,

Miss K  That is beautiful. Dare I say Audrey Hepburn-esque! 
Joanna  Looking Lovely.... 
Jane  Miss K you can say Audrey Hepburn-esque as much as you like as far as I'm concerned :D

Jo - thankyou. 
Tiffany  Oh, that is very nice indeed. I wish I had a picture of myself like that. Jane, you're officially lucky to have a fantastic picture like that. :D 
Kat  Content.

As in peaceful... obviously.

Nice. 
Connie Cox  Looking very contented.
Lovely photo 
Billy  Marvellous pic. *applauds* 
Joggerblogger  :-) 
Sarah Louise Parry  very natural, very nice 

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I'm in Forbes!

...unfortunately not in the Rich List. :-(

I thought that the buzz about Hamster Sudoku had dried up, but it's still getting mentions! This time in an article about the ecomony surrounding mashups.

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Flexing

This is going to be a rather self-indulgent post, but I wanted to talk about Tranny and TV a bit, and why it's taken over my blog to a certain extent.

Basically, because it's a lot of fun, and I'm learning new Things (damn I wish Siobhan hadn't trademarked "Stuff™").

I've always been interested in comic strips, I used to doodle them as a kid, but soon ran into a problem: I can't really draw. Certainly not any anything alive, and nothing to the standards of the experts.

As a child I used to do brilliant Heath Robinsonesque pictures of machines with pipes and valves and articulated arms, all patiently detailed and shaded. But when it came to figures and animals... meh. I kinda wish I'd persevered with it and taken life classes and stuff, but I wonder if there's even any innate skill there to develop anyway.

So cartooning lapsed as I got older. Then as a student I got involved with the drama society. In the first year we put on a revue-type show, and I wrote some of the sketches. That seemed to go down well, so in the second year I was commissioned to write and direct the whole Christmas play! That turned out to be a skewed remake of the Wizard of Oz, with a whole load of new characters. The actors who played the Munchkin-like characters had to shuffle around on their knees through the whole production. I'm probably personally responsible for a statistical spike in lower back problems in my age bracket.

It was all very studenty, but a huge amount of fun, and it taught me a hell of a lot about writing. It also gave me a lifelong love of writing dialog, and a lot of my creative writing since has taken that form.

Then recently I had the idea of doing a skit of the "Mac and PC" ads that Apple were running, but turning it on it's head. Rather than a pair of humans acting like machines, why not make it a pair of machines acting like humans?

At first I thought I could only achieve it with some form of animation. Then after tinkering about in Photoshop a bit I realised it would work as a comic strip.

The first one was very much a direct parody of an Apple ad, but when I finished it I thought of other things I could do with the same characters. Tranny and TV could be a way of talking about my opinions on TG culture in a different way, and even just "telling jokes".

It's strange, but I kind of knew straight away what they were like as personalities, and that they had "other things to say". Fuck, this is sounding pretentious. Bear with me, it gets worse.:-)

The fact that they're inanimate objects who can't move or emote is both a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because I don't have to draw anything (except maybe the odd KKK hood!), but it also means that all of the emotion has to come from the dialog. It's a challenge to get the dialog to convey everything I want to, but it's a challenge I'm relishing.

In a lot of ways it's similar to the act of writing a script. Except that instead of relying on the actors to express each line in the right way, I'm relying in many ways directly on the reader having a shared understanding of how the character would act. (I told you the pretentiousness would get worse!)

It's also enjoyable learning the "craft" of comic strips. Working out how to tell a story in a restricted amount of space (500 by 700 pixels, fact fans!). Little things. Like the way that TV slides across the full length of the panel in the latest strip. The words are deliberately all in one long line, and TV has to slide left-to-right because that's the way the text is read. Also, although the speech bubble's tail points to the far right, it's anchored at the far left, where TV would have started talking. Working out subtle things like that is immensely satisfying, for some reason.

Basically, the main motive for me having this web site is to occasionally flex my creative muscles, and Tranny and TV is just a new way of doing that. I'm not pretending it's the best thing since sliced bread, but it is something that I'm enjoying doing and sharing with you.

Whether you like it or not. ;-)
Miss K  What's not to like. It's ruddy brilliant and I hope it goes on forever, or at least until you Jump the Shark. 
freiya  i love it too :) it honestly makes me smile, and that's no bad thing.... 
Connie Cox  I think the cartoons are superb and really do reflect the TG culture as it where.
Any chance you could start archiving them together so we can look at previous ones you have done? 
Becky  Connie: That's something I keep planning to do but not getting around to. 
Jane  Connie until Bex gets round to it, let me direct you to here where I have already done so. 
NH  Of course, TV had one previous credit as a model on Rush's 1985 album cover for "Power Windows". Tranny is an industry newcomer. 
Kath Adams  ok, I had one of those days... (can I [tm] that? I've been using it a lot lately!) And it would have been nice to let Kath out when I got home, but it wasn't to be, so a few Stella's were let out instead...

So forgive me if I ramble...
...or don't.

Anyway, I really liked that blog. I think it actually said more about you than most of your blogs. It wasn't "self indugant" or "pretentious", it was "real", something that meant more than just something that other guys who wear girlie stuff find funny (and some girls who wear girls stuff find funny too).

I really wish I was artistic. I can 'see' what I want, but I can't 'create' what I want. So I could never cartoon, or sketch etc. I'm a keen (and half reasonable) photographer but I need what I want to portray to actually 'be there', where as you are able to 'create' something...

...that's funny too.





git! :-) 
sim  That all sounds strangely familular.
Use your cartoons to say what's on your mind, (hell I do it all the time), even if it's a little tangential or watered down.
The two characters are great, but more important the writing is funny & well structured. The formulea works well, even out side to target audience.
Youv'e proved you don't need to draw to create good work. Go with it.

You could post pop them into this flickr pool (http://www.flickr.com/groups/t-art/pool/) Iv'e started & will launch my self into soon.

....oh, and they make me grin. 
Becky  That sounds a great idea Sim. :-) But I don't feel comfortable putting them on flickr. Unlike your drawings and other art, Tranny and TV isn't a real thing that's been "photographed", so doesn't really belong on a photo site. 
Charlee  Before April tells you, I'll embarress myself instead ;) I think T&T rocks so much, that poster you made, it's my desktop at home, and printed and pinned to our fridge ;) 

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This is the kind of thing that pisses Scots off

Headline in the paper:

Digital Networks - What the UK can learn from its Scottish neighbours.

Erm, so did Scotland leave the UK and nobody tell me? I'd expect that kind of lazy "UK = England and Wales" thinking in a tabloid. But this is in the Guardian's education supplement!
NH  Next thing, they'll be getting their own television quiz shows especially for viewers in Scotland featuring Paul Coia asking questions about hills. 

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Monday, September 18, 2006

Sexiererer

Tranny and TV cartoon strip

Labels:

Jane  Is Tranny a Bush radio then? 
Natalie  Terrorists are so easy to blame.... 
Magpie  Oh, I love this one! :) Brilliant stuff. 

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Sunday, September 17, 2006

At last! My grant from the foreign office!

On a lonely planet spinning it's way to damnation, amid the fear and despair of a broken human race, who is left to fight for all that is good and pure and gets you smashed for under a fiver? Yes, it's Siobhan Sir Digby Chicken Ceasar!

Watch this clip before YouTube realise it's copyrighted, and then watch next week's That Mitchell and Web Look, because it's the funniest thing on telly at the moment by far.

All together now: dunderlunderdunderdundun...
Susan  I know exactly what you mean. I haven't dressed 'properly' in ages (by 'properly', I mean makeup and underwear etc. - not just throwing on a skirt & top when I get home from work). I went to Norwich yesterday, and wandering through House of Fraser in Chapelfields, I had exactly the same thought. Pretty things - me want! By the way, I also saw an elf in HoF - at first I thought she was just a pretty oriental girl - then I noticed her ears... 
Susan  Oops, sorry - I must be pissed. I commented to the wrong post - tis should have appeared under 'Getting in touch with my inner tranny'. 
Siobhan Curran  Hold on a minute. There was an insult buried in that...

*dunderlunderdunderdundun...* 
NH  That's Numberwang! 
Alli' Cat'  Whilst I'm generally loving the new Mitchell & Web thing ("Do you think we're the baddies?" - inspired!), I'm a tad pissed off that (so far at least) about 95% of it had already been broadcast via their show on Radio 4. Is it better with pictures? Not really - who needs pictures when you've got an imagination. Still, at least this time around I'm enjoying it from the sofa (as opposed to the middle of a huge, regular, traffic on the effin M6!) 
Pandora Caitiff  I thought the show had highs and lows, but it was Sir Digby that made me nearly snort my drink out of my nose!

And I just acquired a deerstalker hat in Animal Crossing!

*dunderlunderdunderdundun...* etc 
Becky  Alli Cat: That nearly always happens to BBC shows that make the transfer from Radio 4 to TV. I suppose their thinking is it's great material, why not give it a far larger audience than it got on R4?

I was pleased to get to see what The Angel Summoner and BMX Bandit actually looked like, the Snooker Commentators were a bit of a let down though. For one thing they looked a bit like rejects from Little Britain! 

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Getting in touch with my inner tranny

We spent the weekend up in Derby with Shannon, Mini, Sophie, Thom et. al. and a jolly good time was had by all. As always it's great to catch up with those guys.

I didn't dress, but...

On the way up we stopped off in Grantham at one of those enormous ASDAs (that's Wal-Mart for overseas readers). It had a sizeable clothing section, and as I looked round I found myself having a strange thought:

Girls clothes are quite nice. I would like to wear them and look pretty.

Yeah I know what you're thinking, Transvestite in Wanting To Wear Girl's Clothes Shocker.

But the thing is, I've not had a thought like that in ages. I've always had fluctuations in my "levels of tranniness", but this current lull is of El Niño proportions. Sometimes I wonder if there's an end in sight.

That little thought was comforting. It was my Inner Tranny letting me know she's still there. It's funny to think that a few years ago I'd have probably the opposite reaction to discovering I'm not "cured" of TVism. Then I'd have been upset, now I'm reassured.

Labels:

Sylvia  So much truth in that. Well, off to the store. 
Joggerblogger  Sorry we missed you guys :-( see ya soon :-) 
Ian Betteridge  Weird circle of the internet thing: Derby is my home town. I spect the first 19 years of my life there.

Madness.

Anyway, me and the Kimster are ON HOLIDAY (in, ironically, Norfolk!) so I shouldn't be on the internets :) 
Mrs Y.  It's all the new seasons clothes coming in. We've had a month or two of nothing in the shops but stuff that would be turned down for a jumble sale. New clothes -mmmmmm. 

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Thursday, September 14, 2006

To Rebelrebel,

Oh really? Wallpaper eh? And I suppose you'd like me to do them in lots of convenient screen sizes too eh? Eh??

...

You talked me into it. ;-)

Household Appliances Wallpaper

1024 x 768 1280 x 960 1600 x 1200
1440 x 900
Charlee  And all around the country, office coworkers began to be slightly bemused by the kitchen appliance fetish.. 
Ian Betteridge  Wot no 1280x800 widescreen? :) 
Steph Angel  "Wot no 1280x800 widescreen? :) "

You just SO know there'll be one before the day's out!!! 
Karol Cross  Becky, you are a gem! This is priceless. Love it! lol 
rebelrebel  Gawd bless yer, ma'am! <tugs forlock in sycophantic manner> Yer an angel, an' no mistake, do wot, apples and pears, etc.

(Authentic- isn't it?) 
Becky  I've been slaving over this bit of top-flight html code for you all afternoon, Ian:

<img width="1280" height="800" src="http://www.beckysweb.co.uk/ images/appliances1440x900.jpg">

;-) 
Becky  Subtle HTML humour. Wow, this blog really has it all. :-/ 
Hels  A. Lurker writes...

Thank you for this. Thank you so much. Now can you please use your superpowers to stop my fridge from looking at me in a funny way?

Hels
xx

PS Why is my 'word verification' thingy telling me to type in the word "pricc" - like I needed reminding? Pfft! A lesser mortal than YT would be grossly offended. Good thing then, that I'm naturally gross, non? ;-)