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Sunday, July 29, 2007

Transformeh

As a bit of a lad's night out with the guys from work (including honorary lad Mrs. Y, but not Jane, who really didn't fancy it!), I went to see a 2 hour special effects shot called "Transformers" last night.

I really wanted to like it, I knew that it would have no story, and was actually looking forward to the mindless nostalgia and OTT-ness of it all, but it left me completely cold. I was actually falling asleep near the end, despite the noise!

Shame really. I suppose I shouldn't have gone to see it, because I can't really put a finger on why I disliked it. It was everything I expected it would be... except enjoyable.

For a considerably more positive (and no less valid!) tranny Transformers review, check out Connie's blog. :-)

I never owned any Transformers toys as a kid, but I used to play with my brother's collection, and I absorbed the whole Autobot vs. Decepticons mythos through my brother's enthusiasm for the whole thing. We even went to see the original film (featuring the final movie performance of Orson Welles, non-obscure trivia fans), and my probably faulty memory tell me it was in a double-feature Saturday Matinee with The Care Bears Movie (god forbid Michael Bay ever gets hold of that franchise).

In a way what Bay has done with Transformers reminds me of what my brother used to do with my toys when he was little.

When I was a dodger of six or seven, I'd be told to share my precious toy cars and soldiers and dinosaurs (which I'd given characters and stories to, and cared for deeply) with my younger (by 3 years - an eternity when you're seven) brother. Who'd then, with considerable relish, not play with them properly. Tyrannosauruses would be ridden on tanks! Matchbox cars would be used as building blocks! Lego men, who under my benevolent charge had suffered little more than occasional head and leg transplants, were bashed together and made to fight!

Last night I watched Michael Bay take some cherished childhood toys and, like a four-year-old younger brother who doesn't know better, bash them together and not play with them properly.

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Blogger Tiffany  Yes...the fiance saw this and he referred to it as the "suckiest piece of film to ever suck before."


And I'm not at all interested, but I couldn't ever really understand why so many people liked that movie, especially after what I heard from him.

Especially worrying is that some of the people who worked on Transformers are working on the new Star Trek movie. Oh, the horror. Please, please, JJ Abrams...make it better. Please. 
Blogger Becky T  I heard that Robbie Williams was being tipped to play the young Captain Kirk in the new film. Fortunately, I abandoned cinemagoing before I'd ever really started. My friend Liz said Transformers had no plot, too. 
Blogger Connie Cox  See I went in expecting Robots smashing each other u[ and thats what I got.
Its a Michael Bay film so I wasn't expecting anything else.
As a fan there were lines from the cartoons and movie so thats what I enjoyed.
And it did look and sound great.
Sometimes I want a film to move me and other times I just want to hang on and enjoy the ride.

Oh and Robbie as Kirk....no way.
But Sylar as Spock! Hell yeah! 

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Friday, March 30, 2007

Loving the labyrinth

I have a prediction. By the year 2012, movie DVDs will come out 6 months before their cinema release. Based on current trends. It seems that there's already barely any time between a film appearing at the multiplex and appearing at the Megastore.

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I don't get to go to the cinema as much as I'd like, so I rely on DVD releases a lot more these days.

One film I missed on it's cinema release was Pan's Labyrinth, so I eagerly snapped it up when it appeared on DVD, and watched it this week.

It's absolutely stunning. By far the best film I've seen in ages. My spoof (it's a pan... geddit!?!!?) really doesn't do it justice!



The film starts with a young girl, Ofelia, finding a ancient statue in the wilds of 1940's Spain. My first thoughts were this is like a live-action Spirited Away, and that turned out to be reasonably accurate analogy. Guilliermo Del Toro seems to have the same masterful feel for fantasy and fairy tales as Hayao Miyazaki. He realises that good fairy tales are scary. His eye for detail is also very Miyazaki-esque, the sets for both the real and fantasy worlds are fantastically rich and intricate. If Studio Ghibli made live action, they'd make films that looked like Pan's Labyrinth.



I was also reminded of another director, Pedro Almodóvar. Like his fellow spaniard, Del Toro seems to have an innate understanding of how to portray strong female characters. Even the "weak" character of Ofelia's mother, wearily resigned to be the complaint wife of the monstrous Captain Vidal, is portrayed in a sympathetic way.

If you've not done so already, beg borrow or steal Pan's Labyrinth! It's left me with a desperate urge to see Del Toro's other Spanish fantasy films. I'm off to steal Sophie's box set!

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Blogger Carolyn Ann  I saw this movie late last summer, and I loved it, too!

Not only a visual feast, but an excellent fairy tale, as well. It's really quite astonishing.

I know I'll be grabbing the DVD when it comes out here.

Carolyn Ann 
Blogger Joanna  Havent seen it yet, but will be checking out the DVD. 
Anonymous Isobel  I enjoyed the film, and thought that it was good, but felt that it was a little bit over-hyped after scooping an armful of Bafta's.

Get down to HMV and pick up a copy of Cronos, today: I've seen it there for about £5. 
Blogger Pandora Caitiff  Oh! Now it makes sense. I thought the last Tranny and TV was inspired by cheese before bedtime!

Good as I've been told it is, I might give Pan's Labyrinth a miss as the whole Franco/Civil War stuff is a bit dark for my current metal state.

I seem to recall Cronos was good, if a bit odd though. 
Blogger Becky  I was hoping it worked on a "cheese before bedtime" level for those who hadn't seen the film, Pandora. :-) 
Blogger Carolyn Ann  Here, it's not coming out on DVD until May 15th.

Oh, I saw it just a few weeks ago!. It just seemed like summer... And it seemed like a long time ago. Perception=reality? :-)

Carolyn Ann 
Anonymous Tiffany  Ooh, I saw that film a while ago with my roommate. We nearly died in the process of getting to the cinema, making it all the more fantastic, since it was a reward of sorts. Yeah, I loved it. Except for all the bloody violence... 
Anonymous Miss K  There's a superb 3 DVD set of Cronos, The Devil's Backbone and Pan's Labyrinth that I recommend to anyone!

My favourite is The Devil's Backbone, which is a counterpart to Pan's Labyrinth in many ways.

Also worth a look are Del Toro's Hollywood films, which he tends to alternate (for artistic as well as financial purposes, I suspect) with his more personal works. These include the superb Mimic, the boisterous Hellboy and the very underrated Blade 2. 
Blogger Freiya  I saw this when it came out at the cinema, it really is pretty fine, i loved the way it had such strong elements of complete fantasy and harsh reality in the same breath, very clever and gorgeous to look at, and as you said very like a real life Spirited Away, one of my favourite ever films..... 

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

More movie mashups

That got me thinking... how about cross-breeding some other movies?

Dawn of the Dead Poets Society
A mysterious virus sweeps a private school causing all the boys to stand zombie-like on desks.

Little Miss Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

A family's cross-country road trip is disrupted by continuously having their brains wiped.

The Sixth Sense and Sensibility

"Miss Dashwood, Elinor. I must talk to you. Something of great importance I need to tell you... I see dead people."

All Reservoir Dogs Go To Heaven

Touching animated family movie portraying the gory aftermath of a botched jewellery heist.

Funny Face/Off

Audrey Hepburn and Fred Astaire swap faces and identities in an ultra-violent romantic musical thriller.


That's five. Any more? :-)

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Blogger Pandora Caitiff  Hmmm...

Singing in the Rain Man

The Unbearable Lightness of Being John Malkovitch

O, Lucky Manchurian Candidate (cheating a bit there)

The Princess Bride of Frankenstein

Best in Showgirls?

I dread to think up the taglines :) 
Anonymous Jessica Shannon  The Empire Strikes Back To The Future
Luke Skywalker goes back in time and has to get his parents together, includes a funny scene where he sneaks into Anakins bedroom in a Darth Vader costume :) 
Blogger Lara Tyg  Breakfast at Alcatraz : Audrey Hepburns dashing escape from the notorious high security prision in evening dress & diamond tiara.

Debbie does Toy story : Naughty goings on in the toy cupboard with Woody & Buzz.

Cujo come home : A dogs murderous journey home.

Taka the Terminator. Cyborg otter . Cool.

Carry on up Schindlers list : erm...no. on second thoughts , bad idea. 
Blogger Lynn Jones  Predator 2 Fast 2 Furious:

Watch chav'd up Honda Civics get blown up in glorious thermograph.

On Deadly Ground-hog Day:

Bill Murray is unkillable... and he's p*ssed off.

Evil Dead Poets Society:

Groovy :) 
Anonymous Helen G  I'm too unimaginative/uncreative actually to come up with any ideas, just wanted to thank y'all for such inspired posts

It's been a bit of a lumpy few days on Planet Helen and this thread is such a treat, a real cheer-up.

Thank you all
xxx 
Blogger Miss K  Predator 2 Fast 2 Furious

I would pay good money to see that!

My entries:

An Elephant Man For All Seasons
- plucky but ultimately doomed Lord Chancellor eventually loses bizarrely deformed head.

Das Kinky Boots
- drag queen hilariously and ultimately heart-warmingly trapped with German U-Boat crew in tense World War 2 drama.

Alien3 Coins In The Fountain
- Murderous Xenomorph seeks love in picturesque 1950s Rome.

I Know What You Did Last Summer Holiday
- Cliff Richard and The Shadows run over sinister fisherman in bloody but satisfying slasher revemge musical.

Lord Of The RIng
- Hairy footed midget comes across a mysterious videotape that signals death for all who watch it.

Jaws - The Revenge of the Sith
- two unnecessary sequels in one

etc etc 
Blogger Becky  These are brilliant! Geniune LOLs. :-)

I think "Das Kinky Boots" is my fave so far. 
Blogger Penny Morris  Twelve Angry Monkeys

Chimp Jury! 
Blogger Joanna  Watership Down and Out in Beverly Hills - The rabbits head to a new warren in Beverly Hills, much mirth ensues.

Big Mommas House of Wax - students take refuge in a house owned by a sadistic murderer in a fat woman suit.

Men in Black Beauty - Aliens abduct the famous horse.

Freddie vs Jason vs Alien vs Predator - no plot just Kerching as 4 big franchises go head to head ....

Ocean's Twelve Monkeys - The bank robbers go time travelling

Rocky Balboa and Bullwinkle - His final fight...a giant moose.

Theres Something about Mary Poppins - Gross out comedy about a nanny. There's more than a spoonful of sugar in that hair gel... 
Anonymous NH  Seven Brides for Se7en

The Incredible Shrinking Man About The House

The Killing of Sister George and Mildred

Paradise Lost In Translation

The Spy Who Came In From The Cold Mountain

Groundhog Day Of The Jackal (a hitman keeps killing General DeGaulle every day)

Saving Private Ryan's Daughter

Priscilla, Queen of The Desert Fox

The Great Escape From The Planet of the Apes

Dr. No Sex Please We're British

From Russia With Love, Actually

What About Bob And Carol And Ted And Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore 
Blogger Joanna  Sorry, a few more...

A Room With A View To A Kill - James Bonds lesser known period drama

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolfe Creek - Richard Burton and Liz Taylor get lost in the Australian Outback

Saturday Night Fever Pitch - John Travolta goes dancing after watching football

Shaun of the Dead Calm - A Rom Zom Com, on a Boat. 
Blogger Jane  Tom's Midnight Run - Young English boy from the 1960s finds himself on the run from the Mafia and a bounty hunter when the grandfather clock strikes 13.

The Good The Bad And The Ugly Betty, Three desperate men go in search of a fortune and end up working for a fashion magazine with hilarious results.

And yet to be released

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Howards End - Capt Jack Sparrow must fight Emma Thompson and Helena Bonham Carter 
Anonymous Alli' Cat'  Doctor Strangelove in Trouble.
Who Framed Roger Rabbit-proof Fence?
Bridget Jones: the Rise of the Machines.
Gangs of Chicago. (Teams of hoodlums fight to the death to prevent Richard Gere singing)
The Man With Two Mules For Sister Sarah.
The Silence Of The Commitments. 
Blogger Lynn Jones  I Know What You Did Last Summer Holiday
OMG. It's Clllliiiiff. :)

Biker Boys Don't Cry:
Hilary Swank 'blokes up' in a sensitive portrail of a gender confused motorcycle courier. (sigh - we've all been there haven't we?)

Team TransAmerica: World Police
Post modern trans flick (women playing men wanting to be women - but they're puppets). Feature touching performances from the rest of the cast of Desperate Housewives and lots of AirFix 'shock & awe' model explosions.

It's a Wonderful Life of Brian:
He's not a dead bloke on a bridge, he's a very naughty boy.

And finally.. but not quite a proper mashup:

The Matrix Rejigged:
Michael Flatly is master hacker O'Neo in this Riverdance edition of the cult flick. 
Blogger FON  total genius - thank you... 
Blogger Chrissy  Saving Private Benjamin... Oy Vey!
For what a young madchen is in the Army risking her life for the schmucks?

Sorry, I'm all-out of Imagination... 
Anonymous Babette Jones  The black version of "Driving Miss Daisey"..... "Let the Bitch Walk" ...sorry I know that's not how the game is played.. :) 
Blogger Penny M  Brief Encounters of the Third Kind

"Oh I say darling, you seem to have something in your compound eye..."

It took me ten months to think of that! 

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Am I the only one...

...who's thought of combining The Good German with The Good Shepherd to make The Good German Shepherd, a film about a canine CIA Agent in post-war Berlin?

Probably. :-)

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